Bethesda, MA. Vice President, Dick Cheney, while playing golf yesterday afternoon with the Anti-Christ suffered an mild heart attack while foot-wedging his ball from beneath a rare silver stem fern. Cheney, wearing an ostrich clad Nascar cap fell onto the precious fern, crushing it to death.
Sources at the hospital have confirmed that survival is likely and no brain damage occurred. Witnessing the collapse, Caddy Mike Barret (a former mill worker laid off 2 years ago due to the administrations failure to reduce textile imports) dialed 911. EMS arrived and transported Cheney directly to Bethesda ER where Cheney has stabilized and remains under observation.
President Bush met with Campaign officials that afternoon and the decision was made to replace Cheney with Colin Powell to run as Vice President on the 2004 Presidential GOP Ticket. This plan was immediatly endorsed by Party Officials and Satan. Alone in dissention was Trent Lott, who felt left out.
Powell, who will seek the 2008 GOP Presidential Nomination will soon have his short list for Vice President available. Those named included Bill Frist, Condoleeza Rice and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Earth-First has launched a class action suit against white men in response to the needless and wonton destruction of the Silver Stem Fern. They are seeking an unspecified amount of monetary compensation and full title to all golf courses and sorrounding developments in the continental United States except North Dakota.
Powell has been completely marginalized by the neo-con wing of the Bush Administration. He has no say in anything that they do, and he is just riding out Bush's first term like the good soldier he is, before resigning. The Right Wing Republican cadre that support Bush would NEVER countenance Colin Powell as Bush's running mate, and ESPECIALLY never accept him as the Party's nominee 4 years later, if they were still the party in power. Powell is WAY too middle of the road. Oh, and, BTW, I agree that Cheney is hindrance to to Bush's re-election - and I am thankful every day that he remains the running mate. But Cheney has no plans to quit the ticket, and he hasn't given the Shrub permission to drop him from it.
The fact is, there are MANY members of the Republican Party that most of us who are so vehemently against Bush would be HAPPY to support. I would be THRILLED to vote for a Republican like Colin Powell or John McCain as President. These are independent, thoughtful men of character and they understand the views and issues that are important to mainstream of America.
I personally would view getting away from a reactionary Evangelical Christian who gets his mission from God, and replacing him with a moderate pragmatist with his feet grounded in the real world, like Powell or McCain, would be a victory for the NATION. It's not a matter of right or left. It's a matter of what's good for the country. It isn't just the left that can't stand Bush. Most of us in the middle can't stand Bush either, because he's the puppet of the Religious right, and in fact, has NO CONCEPT of what a true Conservative stands for.
Incidentally, the new position I alluded to is not DIRECTLY with the Kerry campaign. It's more focused on insuring that the pro-U.S./Anti-Shrub message gets properly communicated on a broader scale.
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