Politics and Religion

Dennis Miller Said It
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For those who don't know, Dennis Miller is a comedian who has a show called Dennis Miller Live on HBO. He is not Jewish. He recently said the following about the Mideast situation:

 "A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a service to all Americans who still don't get it, I now offer you the story of the Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you really need.

 Here we go:

 The Palestinians want their own country.
 There's just one thing about that: There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word. Israel was called Palestine for two thousand years.
 Like "Wiccan," "Palestinian" sounds ancient but is really a modern invention. Before the Israelis won the land in the 1967 war, Gaza was owned by Egypt, the West Bank was owned by Jordan, and there were no "Palestinians."

 As soon as the Jews took over and started growing oranges as big as basketballs, what do you know, say hello to the "Palestinians," weeping for their deep bond with their lost "land" and "nation."

 So for the sake of honesty, let's not use the word "Palestinian" anymore to describe these delightful folks, who dance for joy at our deaths, until someone points out they're being taped.
 Instead, let's call them what they are:
 "Other Arabs Who Can't Accomplish Anything In Life And Would Rather Wrap Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And Death."

I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this, then: "Adjacent Jew-Haters."
 Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters want their own country. Oops, just one more thing. No, they don't.
 They could've had their own country any time in the last thirty years, especially two years ago at Camp David but if you have your own country, you have to have traffic lights
 and garbage trucks and Chambers of Commerce,  and, worse, you actually have to figure out some way to make a living. That's no fun. No, they want what all the other Jew-Haters in the region want: Israel.
 They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course that's where the real fun is -- but mostly they want Israel.

 Why? For one thing, trying to destroy Israel - or "The Zionist Entity" as their textbooks call it -- for the last fifty years has allowed the rulers of Arab countries to divert the attention of their own people away from the fact that they're the blue-ribbon most illiterate,   poorest, and tribally backward on God's Earth,  and if you've ever been around God's Earth . . . you know
 that's really saying something.

 It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes poetic
 about the great history and culture of the Muslim Midleast.
 Unless I'm missing something,  the Arabs haven't given anything to the
 world since Algebra, and, by the way, thanks a hell of a lot for that
 one.

Chew this around & spit it out: 500 million Arabs; 5 million Jews.
 Think of all the Arab countries as a football field,
 and Israel as a pack of matches sitting in the middle of it.
 And now these same folks swear that, if Israel gives them
 half of that pack of matches, everyone will be pals..

 Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the string of wars to
 obliterate the tiny country and the constant din
 of rabid blood oaths to drive every Jew into the sea?
 Oh, that? We were just kidding.

 My friend Kevin Rooney made a gorgeous point the other day:
 Just reverse the Numbers.
 Imagine 500 million Jews and 5 million Arabs.
 I was stunned at the simple brilliance of it .
 Can anyone picture the Jews strapping belts of razor blades
 and dynamite to themselves?  Of course not.

 Or marshaling every fiber and force at their disposal for generations
 to drive a tiny Arab State into the sea? Nonsense.
 Or dancing for joy at the murder of innocents? Impossible.
 Or spreading and believing horrible lies about the Arabs baking their
 bread with the blood of children? Disgusting.

 No, as you know, left to themselves in a world of peace,
 the worst Jews would ever do to people is debate them to death.

 Mr. Bush, God bless him, is walking a tightrope. I understand that,
 with vital operations in Iraq and others, it's in our interest, as
 Americans, to try to stabilize our Arab allies as much as possible,
 and, after all, that can't be much harder than stabilizing a roomful of
 super models who've just had their drugs taken away.

However, in any big-picture strategy, there's always a danger
 of losing moral weight. We've already lost some.
 After September 11th, our president told us and the world he was going
 to root out all terrorists and the countries that supported them.
 Beautiful.
 Then the Israelis, after months and months of having the equivalent of
 an Oklahoma City every week (and then every day),
 start to do the same thing we did, and we tell them to show restraint.

 If America were being attacked with an Oklahoma City every day,
 we would all very shortly be screaming for the administration
 to just be done with it and kill everything south of the Mediterranean
 and east of the Jordan.

 Please feel free to pass this along to your friends
 Walk in peace! Be Happy! Have a wonderful life

Wow, sounds like some of the contributors to this board have a side gig writng fot Miller.

BTW, "Palestine" is an ancient name -- it's what the Romans in an act of imperial spite remaned the ancient occupied ["occupied"?  -- sound familar?] land of Israel.  Ironic, ain't it?

He is one entertainer who does get it and has a very clear vision of what we face.
I loved his show when it was on msnbc. I appreciate HBO is a major step up in as much as he has to eat though.


And there weren't any Jews, either, as the story goes, till Egypt instituted some unfair labor and birth-control policies.  

Just because nobody called themselves Palestinian before a certain date doesn't mean they weren't collectively dispossessed when Israel came into existence.

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