I'd have to go with JFK for fucking 9s and 10s. Jefferson was too racist for having only black sex slaves - he wasn't multicultural enough. As for FDR, I think an erection is need for this honor. Bill is a lying sack of shit
You gotta love him, but his fuck stock leaves a lot to be desired.
Lets see, do I want to be bitch at by Hilary or Jackie. That's a no brainer.
Posted By: Fair_Use
The Mount Rushmore discussion inspired me to write — "My 4 ATF Democratic Presidents." Help me pick out the best one representing the greatest Hobby President. In chronological order:
Tom Jefferson: When I think of Jefferson, I try to imagine him in his Sunday-best powered wig and go-to-church stockings attending a slave auction and bidding on the most attractive ones. Sort of the predecessor to the Backpage patron, only in Thomas' case, the purchase was a one time deal, instead of a reoccurring expense. Kind of a very long all-nighter. Like most founding fathers, its generally agreed that Jefferson owned slaves, but what makes Jefferson special is his historical standing for having sex with them and eventually burying them in his backyard. In a recent poll, when asked what Jefferson was most notable for as a President, the result was having sex with his slaves. So I nominate Thomas Jefferson as the ultimate Hobby President for having sex slaves. Also, he died bankrupt which helps support the bestowing the Hobby honor on him as well.
FDR: Providers tell me they see a lot of men in wheelchairs, but that's not the reason I am throwing FDR's name in the hat. I think FDR might make a perfect choice as Hobby President, because of his overbearing and ugly wife. Even her name, Eleanor, makes a man want to cheat. And cheat he did. FDR was the ultimate cheater, even dying in the arms of the woman he loved. So to FDR, I must say, well played, Mr President. Well played. And they say Truman dropped the bomb. Ha! Imagine what FDR could have done if he were operating from the waist down?
JFK: Who knew that Camelot meant tag teaming Hollywood starlets with your own Brother. Apparently JFK invented hobby techniques so advanced, they are still rarely employed even by the most pathetic among us today. To differentiate himself from FDR's cheating style, JFK cheated across many different women as opposed to having only one mistress. Not to mention having possibly the best looking wife of all Presidents with a mod 60s name like Jackie. The only fly in the ointment for the Kennedy duo of siblings is their comeuppance when Karma collected on the debt. Not a happy ending for either of them. Payback is a bitch when your antics reputedly drive the country's most famous sex symbol to her suicide. There was also a thing called Vietnam for 50,000 of his loyal fellow citizens, but that eventually cleared up, once the two of them were gone.
Bill Jefferson Clinton: Named after the original Hobby President, Bill Clinton had bareback sex with employees in the oval office, during the height of the AIDS crisis. The beauty of Bill is he still got support from women's groups and, as of this writing, still no divorce. He uniquely pulled this off with the public knowing about it during his Presidency. If that wasn't enough, like any skilled hobbyist, he lied about it perfectly and under oath. Clearly he learned from the best before him. FDR's audacity, JFK's creativity with a Jeffersonian flair for power over the help. WIth this, I must include the master of women, albeit mostly BBW with large hair budgets. But at least they were balanced hair budgets. Who wants to bet the carpet matched the drapes in volume and length? Kudos to Mr Little Rock and the rest of the Presidential body he was attached to. The rest of hobby heaven still awaits, Sir. *salute*
-- Modified on 2/5/2011 10:00:21 AM
-- Modified on 2/5/2011 10:35:01 AM
