The Ghost of Thanksgiving Yet to Come
By Unknown

"Winston, come into the dining room, it's time to eat," Julia yelled to her husband.  "In a minute, honey, it's a tie score," he answered.  Actually Winston wasn't very interested in the traditional holiday football game between Detroit and Washington.  Ever since the government passed the Civility in Sports Statute of 2017, outlawing tackle football for its "unseemly violence" and the "bad example it sets for the rest of the world," Winston was far less of a football fan than he used to be.  Two-hand touch wasn't nearly as exciting.

Yet it wasn't the game that Winston was uninterested in.  It was more the thought of eating another Tofu Turkey.  Even though it was the best type of Veggie Meat available after the government revised the American Anti-Obesity Act of 2018, adding fowl to the list of federally-forbidden foods, (which already included potatoes, cranberry sauce and mince-meat pie), it wasn't anything like real turkey.  And ever since the government officially changed the name of "Thanksgiving Day" to "A National Day of Atonement" in 2020 to officially acknowledge the Pilgrims' historically brutal treatment of Native Americans, the holiday had lost a lot of its luster.

Eating in the dining room was also a bit daunting.  The unearthly gleam of government-mandated fluorescent light bulbs made the Tofu Turkey look even weirder than it actually was, and the room was always cold.  Ever since Congress passed the Power Conservation Act of 2016, mandating all thermostats-which were monitored and controlled by the electric company-be kept at 68 degrees, every room on the north side of the house was barely tolerable throughout the entire winter.

Still, it was good getting together with family.  Or at least most of the family.  Winston missed his mother, who passed on in October, when she had used up her legal allotment of live-saving medical treatment.  He had had many heated conversations with the Regional Health Consortium, spawned when the private insurance market finally went bankrupt, and everyone was forced into the government health care program.  And though he demanded she be kept on her treatment, it was a futile effort.  "The RHC's resources are limited," explained the government bureaucrat Winston spoke with on the phone. "Your mother received all the benefits to which she was entitled.  I'm sorry for your loss."

Ed couldn't make it either.  He had forgotten to plug in his electric car last night, the only kind available after the Anti-Fossil Fuel Bill of 2021 outlawed the use of the combustion engines-for everyone but government officials.  The fifty mile round trip was about ten miles too far, and Ed didn't want to spend a frosty night on the road somewhere between here and there.

Thankfully, Winston's brother, John, and his wife were flying in.  Winston made sure that the dining room chairs had extra cushions for the occasion.  No one complained more than John about the pain of sitting down so soon after the government-mandated cavity searches at airports, which severely aggravated his hemorrhoids. Ever since a terrorist successfully smuggled a cavity bomb onto a jetliner, the TSA told Americans the added "inconvenience" was an "absolute necessity" in order to stay "one step ahead of the terrorists." Winston's own body had grown accustomed to such probing ever since the government expanded their scope to just about anywhere a crowd gathered, via Anti-Profiling Act of 2022.  That law made it a crime to single out any group or individual for "unequal scrutiny," even when probable cause was involved.  Thus, cavity searches at malls, train stations, bus depots, etc., etc., had become almost routine.  Almost.

The Supreme Court is reviewing the statute, but most Americans expect a Court composed of six progressives and three conservatives to leave the law intact.  "A living Constitution is extremely flexible," said the Court's eldest member, Elena Kagan.  "Europe has had laws like this one for years.  We should learn from their example," she added.

Winston's thoughts turned to his own children.  He got along fairly well with his 12-year-old daughter, Brittany, mostly because she ignored him.  Winston had long ago surrendered to the idea that she could text anyone at any time, even during Atonement Dinner.  Their only real confrontation had occurred when he limited her to 50,000 texts a month, explaining that was all he could afford. She whined for a week, but got over it.

His 16-year-old son, Jason, was another matter altogether.  Perhaps it was the constant bombarding he got in public school that global warming, the bird flu, terrorism or any of a number of other calamities were "just around the corner," but Jason had developed a kind of nihilistic attitude that ranged between simmering surliness and outright hostility.  It didn't help that Jason had reported his father to the police for smoking a cigarette in the house, an act made criminal by the Smoking Control Statute of 2018, which outlawed smoking anywhere within 500 feet of another human being.  Winston paid the $5,000 fine, which might have been considered excessive before the American dollar became virtually worthless as a result of QE13.  The latest round of quantitative easing the federal government initiated was, once again, to "spur economic growth."  This time they promised to push unemployment below its years-long rate of 18%, but Winston was not particularly hopeful.

Yet the family had a lot for which to be thankful, Winston thought, before remembering it was a Day of Atonement.  At least he had his memories.  He felt a twinge of sadness when he realized his children would never know what life was like in the Good Old Days, long before government promises to make life "fair for everyone" realized their full potential.  Winston, like so many of his fellow Americans, never realized how much things could change when they didn't happen all at once, but little by little, so people could get used to them.

He wondered what might have happened if the public had stood up while there was still time, maybe back around 2010, when all the real nonsense began.  "Maybe we wouldn't be where we are today if we'd just said 'enough is enough' when we had the chance," he thought.

Though I do believe one needs to be suspicious of, and defend against big-brothers over-reaching.

Even a few years ago, I'd have scoffed and said this was Chicken Little'ism at its finest.

Today, not so much.

You wrote a freakin' novel!  Do you really expect anyone to read this????  I didn't even get through the first paragraph!

Twice, you have stated incorrectly that I wrote the piece. I CLEARLY gave attribution to another person thus making CLEAR I copied it from elsewhere.

It is a shame you refuse to read more than headlines and titles, but it is your choice.

It is very strange that while you won't take the time to read more than the first line (again, your choice to make), you will take the time to post nothing more informative than declaring to everyone that you made such a choice.

Maybe that was your way of implying you require everyone here to rewrite a Cliff Note version of things they find interesting.

-my own take on Chicken Littleism

"Ronald, come into the dining room, it's time to eat," Nancy yelled to her husband. "In a minute, honey, I'm smoking a bowl," he answered. Ronald knew that dinner always tasted better with the munchies.

Ronald wasn't very interested in football ever since the Superbowl had reduced it's play time to a single quarter in order to turn the rest of the show into commercials, so he instead opted to put on a little lite classical instead.

Ronald couldn't wait for the Thanksgiving meal. Due to medical advancements, he didn't have to worry about salmonella since scientists had figured out how to wipe that bacteria off the face of the earth.  

All the food was fresh, and tasted wonderful after Congress passed The Shitty Food Abolition Act of 2015, which gave Ronald tax incentives to grow most of his organically grown food in his back yard. Somehow harvesting this food seemed to give Thanksgiving more meaning then it seemed to have when he was a child.

The dining room was beautifully lit with a combination of 10,000k high output compact fluorescent bulbs that produced every light frequency that comes to the earth from the sun. It tickled Ronald that he could get some of his necessary Vitamin D just by turning on the lights. The rest of the room was lit with high output LEDs, which cost him fractions of a penny to light over now unheard of incandescents, which gave him a healthy income as his solar panel produced excess energy that he was able to sell back to the grid for a profit.

His home was heated by those very same solar panels, which kept him at a comfortable 76 degrees, which was cheap ever since Congress passed the Stop Wasting Fucking Energy Act of 2017, which gave Ronald cheap loans to weatherize his home.

Still, it could be rough getting together with the rest of his family. His mother Nelle got a bit out of hand when she confused his vanilla kush with the basil. Luckily, scientists had used stem cell therapy to cure alzheimer's, but sadly this treatment wasn't available to Nelle, after the shortlived Bachmann administration had signed the Idiot and Moron Protection Act of 2013.

But aside from that, she was at least healthy. Things got a lot better once Congress passed the Stop Profiting Off of Sick People You Sick Fucks Act of 2019, which finally established a public option, and turned private HMOs into consumer-owned cooperatives. The only problem was trying to get his senile mother to cast her ballot for which candidate to be her HMO's CEO.  

Ronald was pleased that his daughter Patti could make the get together. When she arrived, she insisted on showing her dad her new flying car. She had told her dad that it ran on sewage, which made him a little nervous that the car might smell, but amazingly, he couldn't smell a thing. "Those kids with their new gizmos." Ronald thought.

Ronald was hoping that his son Ron would join him, but he somehow doubted that he could make it. Ron had said that he was considering taking a plane from LA. The airline industry had gone a bit downhill since those kids started buying flying cars, and it now took United American airlines a full week to get someone across the country, and that was with the endless bailouts given to them during the Bachmann administration, which effectly drained the US Treasury of 5 trillion dollars. As it turned out his son was just pulling Ronald's leg. He arrived there a day early, exclaiming, "why would I take one of those piece of shit planes when the bullet train gets me from LA to NYC in two hours!"

As they all sat down to dinner, Nelle asked Ron, "did the TSA search you on the plane? You never know when a terrorist might strike. They've got to search you there", Nelle said pointing at her crouch, "so we don't have to fight them here", she said pointing at the dinner table.

Ronald looked unfortable and sad for a moment. "Mom, you know there's no more terrorists ever since Democracy changed the entire Middle East."

Nancy piped up and said, "We vacationed in Saudi Arabia last month, mom. You know that."  

"Should we say Grace?" Nelle asked.

Everyone at the table, all of them being atheists, looked around at each other uncomfortably, until Ronald touched his mother's hand and said softly, "go ahead, mom."

Nelle got comfortable, put her hands together and began to sing, "Oooh say can you seeeee, by the dawn's early light...."

-- Modified on 2/17/2011 8:23:37 AM

"You wrote a freakin' novel!  Do you really expect anyone to read this????  I didn't even get through the first paragraph"


 I can read while comprehending, much faster than most people, due to becoming  unaccustomed to a teacher slowly reading to the class, straight out of the book.
Necessity is the mother of invention.

The original poster went over the top with sarcasm IMO, however  he made some valid points, that I will grant myself the liberty to add my take, on history and the future.

Native Americans were treated with no more respect than Roman slaves, by the Slave master founding fathers.
Custer got his well deserved reward.
In a future world with true justice ,he will be cloned many times, caged, killed again and again.

If you can't take the cold in your north facing rooms, with your thermosat set at  68 degrees, you should drink more water and exercise, or move south.

People have  died under their private insurance plans, when they reach their policy limits, however billions who have died would have still been buried, with access to unlimited medical funds.
Unlimited resources won't save everyone or anyone from the end we will all share.
Many Americans have no clue, since they are not smart enough to read and understand contracts they blindly accept and sign.

Sooner or later the world will run out of affordable oil, all cars will be electric or another alternative fuel. Preparing for the future is wise.

By 2020 we will have non invasive cavity scanners at airports for everyone.

I have mixed emotions on labeling products with the dangers they possess. On one hand,most people  smart enough to realize pesticides and certain additives,are causing cancer ,killing people, and polluting our waters, don't need a warning label on  ingredients. On the other hand, dummies won't understand or care,when reading  the warning  labels.
















-- Modified on 2/17/2011 10:50:04 AM

willywonka4u "The Ghost of Thanksgiving Yet to Dumb"

 I find it odd, thinking of your past posts, mocking  liorr's writing skills.
I do see why, you and SeamstressPri are closely intertwined and aligned.
 LMAO .. That is  more  aggravating  than  look over their, at the hunters and there dogs, chasing the hair.
Ignorance of your own actions,while condemning others, is the Greatest Deceiver.
If I catch you on the streets of DC with your concealed handgun,I will to take it from you, relentlessly  pistol whip you,in a desperate attempt to knock common sense, into your thick skull.



-- Modified on 2/17/2011 11:14:37 AM

Just today I heard another report that Cola causes cancer.  California already wants to put warning labels on it.  Hopefully that will be the final straw that bankrupts them.

Proof, where none is necessary, that science has become politics.  There's no point using the phrase "Junk Science."  That's redundant.  

Can you spell "irony?"  Or "sacasm?"  Apparantly not.  In other words, the mis-spellings were obviously intentional, a fact that was lost on you, dumbass.  As for my attention span relating to the OP, anyone who can't express themselves on a site like this with some brevity deserves to get flamed.  Did you think you were on a literary site where novellas are reviewed?  Clearly, you have the intellect of a gerbil and the common sense of toe cheese.

but this one was the exception, I throughly enjoyed the OP and read every fucking word of it. lol

but that's where the similarities end. In the interest of fair play I did read your entire post, but I have to confess it was a struggle to finish.

Don't give up your day job sucking at the teat of Government, it would appear that wasting the taxpayers money is all you are cut out for.

Fair enough, re your point about not having written the post.  But the point about length still stands.  If a post goes on and on, I do lose my motivation to read it.  I doubt I'm alone in that.  In fact, over the past few months of actively participating on most of the boards, I haven't seen a single post that came anywhere near the length of yours.  PS: your assumption that all I read are "headlines and titles" is incorrect.  I just don't read posts that go on and on ad nauseum.  Please note also that I never claimed to be commenting on the content of your post.  How could I? My point was simply that it was way too long for my taste.  Still, I give you credit for responding in a thoughtful way, unlike the flamer who sprung to your defense with simple name-calling.  And, yes, I flamed too.  But, as I'm sure you've noticed on this board, flaming is something you expose yourself to every time you post.  So if you can't stand the heat...???  Just sayin'.  Ooops, I just used a contraction.  I guess I'll now get flamed by the other poster for being illiterate!  *Sob!*

Looks like you have some spare time on your hands. Feeling a bit Orwellian are you? In your attempt to portray a nightmare created by liberal capitalists you have tipped your hand. Liberal capitalists create Kafkaesque nightmares, dreams that make no sense. Conservative capitalist nightmares are real and we live them every day.

yelp bark

Even when I don't post, you respond to me. I hadn't said anything in this thread, and you bring me up.
Bark. Bark.