RESUME
GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520

             EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:

                                                                                                                                                                            Law Enforcement:
    I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has been "lost"; and is not available.

                        Military:
   I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

                       College:
  I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

                 PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
  I ran for U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock. I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

            ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
  I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.

  I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.

  I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.

  With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by over 500,000 votes.

               ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
  I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.

  I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.

  I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.

  I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.

  I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.

  I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.

  I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs and that trend continues every month.

  I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history My "poorest millionaire",
Condoleeza Rice, has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.

  I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.

  I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.

  My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in U.S. History, Enron.

  My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election decision.

  I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest corporate rip-offs in history. I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.

  I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.

  I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.

  I appointed more convicted criminals to administration than any President in U.S. history.

  I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.

  I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.

  I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.

  I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.

  I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).

  I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
 
  I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period. After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.

  I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.

  I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record for protests against any person in the history of mankind.

  I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.

  I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in duty benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.

  In my State of the Union Address, I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.

  I am the first President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world peace and security.

  I am supporting development of a nuclear "Tactical Bunker Buster" a WMD.

   I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

               RECORDS AND REFERENCES:

  All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.

 All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.

 All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

Yes, I know he has his faults. But, let's not forget his good points:

He cracks some pretty good jokes and is a great addition to any frat party.

He does a great John Wayne imitation.

You'll never feel stupid around him because you don't read newspapers, and you think that knowledge of baseball qualifies you as an intellectual.

And most importantly, he knows where to score the best coke.

NAME: John Kerry

RESIDENCE:  7 mansions, including one in Washington D.C., worth
multi-millions.  I served in Vietnam (four months).

EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement.  In my career as a U.S. Senator, I've voted to cut every law enforcement, CIA, and Defense bill.  I ordered the city of Boston to remove a fire hydrant in front of my mansion, thereby endangering my neighbors in the event of fire.  I served in Vietnam (four months).  However, I want police and firefighters to unionize, so that they can protect their interests to the exclusion of the public's.

MILITARY:
After my last deferment ran out, I "volunteered" to serve in the Navy.  I served in Vietnam (four months).  After I collected enough film of my exploits for future campaign use, I used three minor injuries to get an early discharge from the military and service in Vietnam (as documented by the attending doctor).  I served in Vietnam (four months).  I then returned to the U.S., joined Jane Fonda in protesting the war, and insulted returning Vietnam vets, slandering them with my claim that they committed atrocities and were baby killers.  I served in Vietnam (four months). I threw my medals, ribbons, or something away in protest.  Or did I?  My book "Vietnam Veterans Against the War: The New Soldier", shows how I truly feel about the military.  I served in Vietnam (four months).

COLLEGE:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. Unlike my
counterpart George Bush, I did not get admitted to Harvard nor graduate with an M.B.A.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
After College and Vietnam, I ran for the U.S. Congress.  I lost the first time.  I couldn't get a real legal job, so I got a government job as a low-level prosecutor.  Later, because of my wealth and through family connections, I was elected Lt. Governor of the People's Republic of Massachusetts, from whence I ran for the Senate, where I have been ever since.  I have no real world experience except marrying very rich women.  I married a rich heiress, and after she gave me two daughters, I divorced her, and got the records sealed.  When I met a stinkin' rich heiress (who had her dead husband's will sealed), I got the Catholic Church to annul the first marriage.  I served in Vietnam (four months).

ACCOMPLISHMENTS:
As a U.S. Senator, I set the record for the most liberal voting record, exceeding even Ted Kennedy and Hillary Clinton. I have consistently failed to  support our military and CIA by voting against their budgets, thus gutting our country's ability to defend itself.  Although I voted for the Iraq War, now I am against it and refuse to admit that I voted for it.  I voted for every liberal piece of legislation.  I have no plan to help this
country but I intend to raise taxes significantly if I am  elected.  I served in Vietnam (four months).

My wealth so far exceeds that of my counterpart, George Bush, that he will never catch up.  I make little or no charitable contributions and have never agreed to pay any voluntary excess taxes in Massachusetts, despite family wealth in excess of $700 million.  I served in Vietnam (four months).

While I babble on about outsourcing, I (we) own 28 manufacturing plants (Heinz) outside of the U.S. in places like Asia, Mexico and Europe.  We can make more profit from the cheaper cost
of labor in those Countries, although I blame George Bush for sending all of the other jobs out of Country.  I served in Vietnam (four months).

Although I claim to be in favor of alternative energy sources, Ted Kennedy and I oppose windmills off Nantucket and Martha's Vineyard as it might spoil our view of the ocean as we cruise on our yachts.  I served in Vietnam (four months).

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
None.  However, I served in Vietnam (four months).

PERSONAL:
I practice my Catholic faith whenever cameras are present. I ride a Serotta Bike. I love to ski/snowboard. I call my Gulfstream V Jet  the "Flying Squirrel". I call my $850,000 42-foot Hinckley twin diesel yacht the "Scarmouche".

I am fascinated by rap and hip-hop and feel it reflects our real culture.

I own several "Large" SUVs including one parked at my Nantucket summer mansion, though I am against the large, polluting, inefficient vehicles owned by the plebians and blame George Bush for our energy problems. I served in Vietnam (four
months).

PLEASE CONSIDER MY EXPERIENCE WHEN VOTING IN 2004.

Though W might be better to share a quart of Jim Beam with.

Letting stupid statements stand is how we got stuck with W.

posted all over the web over the last 10 months, is full of false charges, and has been posted and commented on this board already. Same goes for some of the more extreme anti-Kerry posts that are full of shit - why bother?

RLTW

Americans) have the natural reaction of comparing that to how long Bush served in Vietnam.

Kerry did 2 tours in VietNam, not the 4 months you have so incorrectly echoed fom other lying Repubs.

You also need to do more research on Kerry regarding his college days and of course the lies you are telling about him being the MOST liberal in the senate. See attached link for more on this.


And just why is it any worse to be a liberal than a Repub.?

-- Modified on 10/20/2004 4:23:34 AM

This post demonstrates clearly why I could never support G. W. Bush and Co.  In response to a negative (but factual) post about Bush, we get a negative post about Kerry that is full of distortions and outright lies.  
Kerry served an entire tour of Vietnam aboard a ship.  I assume he could have then gone back home and been done with it, but he volunteered to go back on a Swift Boat.
Kerry voted for many more Defence bills than he voted against.  He did propose to cut the CIA budget at a time when the CIA was caught concealing a slush fund.  While Bush and Co. criticize him for this, they appoint as head of the CIA a man that proposed cutting the CIA budget even more.  http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A27092-2004Aug23.html

Kerry is not the most liberal Senator over his career.  Bush and Cheney have outright lied on this claim.

It is amazing how Bush and Co. love the rich unless they are Democrats.

Kerry voted to authorize the use of force in Iraq because Bush and Co. siad it was needed to get the inspectors back in and that they would only use force as a last resort.  He now criticizes them for lying about this and for not listening to the generals in making the plans for securing Iraq after the invasion.


Etc., etc.

First, a tour on a boat off the coast of Vietnam may count as in a combat zone, but Kerry was certainly not in harm's way during his first "tour."  He was only "in country" for four months, and the point is that he plays it to the hilt.

Second, I don't rely upon George Soros-funded "facts," because they're mostly myths and shadings.

Third, it's worse to be a Liberal because they're socialist hypocrites who hate freedom (as long as it's not theirs) and preach tolerance only of their own narrow agenda.  Witness the Libero-fascists trying (successfully) to prevent Sinclair Broadcasting from broadcasting "Wounds That Never Heal."  And the crowd of Kerry/union thugs which prevented a showing in a sold-out theatre in Montgomery County, Pennsylvania, last night.

went over the 8000 character limit.

You are back peddaling once again James.

Sorry, but your boy George is going to be voted out due to all the lies and deceptions that the Repubs continue to hatch.

Why does Bush only allow people into his bubble that sign statements that they support him?

and as for your claim that Bush "only allow[s] people into his bubble that sign statements that they support him," I don't know about the practice elsewhere, but at the rally I attended, I was not asked to sign any statement, nor was anyone else that I knew.

after all the other lies you have spread on this board?

Get real James, it has been proven that noone is allowed into the Bush Cheney campaigns w/o signing that affadavit. But then again, you probably have "W in '04" tatooed on your forehead.

It never fails to amaze me that supporters of the biggest liar to ever serve as President --- Slick Willie, who was proven to lie on multiple occasions, including under oath --- have so latched on to calling people with whom they disagree as "liars."  You Lefties love to attack those who tell the truth with the accusation, simply because truth doesn't comport with your fantasy world and/or your ideological agenda.

You want to call George Bush a "liar" on Iraq.  Problem is, he merely restated and relied upon the worldwide intelligence consensus on WMDs, the difference being, he had the courage to actually do something about it, rather than sit with his thumb up his ass and wait for disaster to strike.

As to your accusation against me, please cite a single "lie" spread by me on this board.  Except for the anonymity that we all share, I've never misrepresented a single fact on this board.

And as for your mis-spelled assertion that "it has been proven that noone is allowed into the Bush Cheney campaigns w/o signing that affadavit," I quite willingly concede that it may have happened elsewhere; as I was not there, I cannot speak to that assertion, and I have no reason to question reports that it has happened to some.  But you commit a logical fallacy by universalizing from the particulars, as it didn't happen to me, or to the people with whom I attended a Bush rally.  I fail to commit the same logical fallacy by asserting the universal from my particular knowledge.  Why is it you cannot extend to me the same courtesy.  Desperation, perhaps?

Hence, your assertion is the lie, which is a knowing misrepresentation of fact.

Without to much work I will just point out you're post in this thread that is riddled with lyes about John Kerry. Also calling Factcheck.org a partisan website.

Another lie would be calling me a leftie.

That is 3 lies all within this thraed.

So, why should we believe you since you seem to be a pathological lier that will never admit it.

now that I found you do not like misspelt words, have fun at it.

-- Modified on 10/23/2004 4:32:49 PM

Again, you lefties (and I will continue to characterize you as such, on the "if-it-walks-and-talks-like-a-duck" theory) persist in your effort to characterize error as misrepresentation.

My post on this threat is not "riddled with lyes about John Kerry."  They're facts, facts to which you Kerry-ites refuse to respond.  I note your generalization in lieu of chapter and verse.

As for "factcheck.org" as a partisan website, as noted in my apologetic post, I confused the non-partisan site with the Soros-funded site, just as Cheney did.  I admitted a mistake.  That is hardly a "lye."

You also claim that it is a "lye" to call you a "lefty."  Based upon your threads and your support for the most Liberal member of the United States Senate (according to the National Journal), what other conclusion is rational?

You really oughta quit while your a head.

Stop listening to Rush and Hannity. What they have to say are not facts, they are pulling stuff right out of their asses and preying on the ignorance of their followers to not research them.

Once again, I am VERY middle of the road. It is ashame that the repubs have W in there. If it were McCain I would have voted for him in 2000 and this go 'round. Your boy George has failed in all that he has been placed in charge of. Now that is a fact!