Write Review
2,075,248 Total Reviews 3,841 New Reviews
10,868 Users Online

Politics and Religion

Re:Trust me
dncphil 16 Reviews 2363 reads
posted

Iambic pentameter, ABAB CDCD EFEF GG

Here is the 73's first line, which, as you can see, naturally stressed every other word with the stressed syllable in CAPS. Listen.

I also have the rhyme scene.

Here's the first line
That TIME of YEAR thou MAYST in ME beHOLD

Here's the pattern
behold
hang
cold,
sang
day
west
away
fire
rest.
lie,
expire
by
strong
long.


Good luck

-- Modified on 11/16/2008 7:56:01 PM

Donner Party Animal2877 reads

It was assumed the one-time beauty queen.

Would project well on the TV screen.

But it took more than a pretty face,

To triumph in the Presidential race.

So it's "Fini" to Sarah's implausible dream.

ReplyQuoteReport
dncphil2375 reads

A few minor points.  You cheated on "queen, screen, dream," but a lot of time decent poets will do a near rhyme. It's also called an "oblique," "half," "slanted" rhyme, among other terms.  It's not as bad as no rhyme.

Generally, much better.  Now aren't you glad that I took time to work with you?

I will sing your praise if you can do a proper sonnet.  

Here's a hint: There should be three stanzas.  You could have on about Obama, one about McCain, and one about Palin.  Chose your order.  It should be followed by a rhyming couplet that is usually the clincher. (E.g. 73rd "This thou perceivest, which makes thy love more strong, To love that well which thou must leave ere long.")

Remember rhyme and rythm.

You are getting there.

If you decide to try a sonnet, don't make it a ditty.  It isn't necessary, but sonnets should have a more serious tone.  (The can be humerous, but not the silly ditty of a limerick.)

-- Modified on 11/16/2008 12:03:49 PM

ReplyQuoteReport
Donner Party Animal1919 reads

Are you sure about the sonnet configuration? What little I recall, it's seven couplets, but it has been a long time ago, and I may have a memory like the Gipper's.

Yes, the limerick is limiting.

ReplyQuoteReport
dncphil2364 reads

Iambic pentameter, ABAB CDCD EFEF GG

Here is the 73's first line, which, as you can see, naturally stressed every other word with the stressed syllable in CAPS. Listen.

I also have the rhyme scene.

Here's the first line
That TIME of YEAR thou MAYST in ME beHOLD

Here's the pattern
behold
hang
cold,
sang
day
west
away
fire
rest.
lie,
expire
by
strong
long.


Good luck

-- Modified on 11/16/2008 7:56:01 PM

ReplyQuoteReport
Jacques_Barzun1449 reads

God, you've even lost me at this point.  I can only wonde what poor Donner is going through trying to figure this out.

ReplyQuoteReport
Post Reply Back To Forum
Register Now!