This individual seeks an executive position. He will be available in January 2009, and is willing to relocate.

      RESUME

GEORGE W. BUSH
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20520

EDUCATION AND EXPERIENCE:
Law Enforcement:
I was arrested in Kennebunkport, Maine, in 1976 for driving under the influence of alcohol. I pled guilty, paid a fine, and had my driver's
license suspended for 30 days. My Texas driving record has  been "lost" and is not available.

Military:
I joined the Texas Air National Guard and went AWOL. I refused to take a drug test or answer any questions about my drug use. By joining the
Texas Air National Guard, I was able to avoid combat duty in Vietnam.

College:
I graduated from Yale University with a low C average. I was a cheerleader.

PAST WORK EXPERIENCE:
I ran for the U.S. Congress and lost. I began my career in the oil business in Midland, Texas, in 1975. I bought an oil company, but couldn't  
find any oil in Texas. The company went bankrupt shortly after I sold all my stock.
I bought the Texas Rangers baseball team in a sweetheart deal that took land using taxpayer money. With the help of my father and our friends
in the oil industry (including Enron CEO Ken Lay), I was elected governor of Texas.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS GOVERNOR OF TEXAS:
I changed Texas pollution laws to favor power and oil companies, making Texas the most polluted state in the Union. During my tenure, Houston replaced Los Angeles as the most smog-ridden city in America.
I cut taxes and bankrupted the Texas treasury to the tune of billions in borrowed money.
I set the record for the most executions by any governor in American history.
With the help of my brother, the governor of Florida, and my father's appointments to the Supreme Court, I became President after losing by
over 500,000 votes.

ACCOMPLISHMENTS AS PRESIDENT:
I am the first President in U.S. history to enter office with a criminal record.
I invaded and occupied two countries at a continuing cost of over one billion dollars per week.
I spent the U.S. surplus and effectively bankrupted the U.S. Treasury.
I shattered the record for the largest annual deficit in U.S. history.
I set an economic record for most private bankruptcies filed in any 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for most foreclosures in a 12-month period.
I set the all-time record for the biggest drop in the history of the U.S. stock market. In my first year in office, over 2 million Americans lost their jobs, and that trend continues every month.
I'm proud that the members of my cabinet are the richest of any administration in U.S. history. My "poorest millionaire," Condoleeza Rice,
has a Chevron oil tanker named after her.
I set the record for most campaign fund-raising trips by a U.S. President.
I am the all-time U.S. and world record-holder for receiving the most corporate campaign donations.
My largest lifetime campaign contributor, and one of my best  friends, Kenneth Lay, presided over the largest corporate bankruptcy fraud in
U.S.History, Enron.
My political party used Enron private jets and corporate attorneys to assure my success with the U.S. Supreme Court during my election
decision.
I have protected my friends at Enron and Halliburton against investigation or prosecution. More time and money was spent investigating the Monica Lewinsky affair than has been spent investigating one of the biggest
corporate rip-offs in history.
I presided over the biggest energy crisis in U.S. history and refused to intervene when corruption involving the oil industry was revealed.
I presided over the highest gasoline prices in U.S. history.
I changed the U.S. policy to allow convicted criminals to be awarded government contracts.
I appointed more convicted criminals to my administration than any President in U.S. history.
I created the Ministry of Homeland Security, the largest bureaucracy in the history of the United States government.
I've broken more international treaties than any President in U.S. history.
I am the first President in U.S. history to have the United Nations remove the U.S. from the Human Rights Commission.
I withdrew the U.S. from the World Court of Law.
I refused to allow inspectors access to U.S. "prisoners of war" detainees and thereby have refused to abide by the Geneva Convention.
I am the first President in history to refuse United Nations election inspectors (during the 2002 U.S. election).
I set the record for fewest numbers of press conferences of any President since the advent of television.
I set the all-time record for most days on vacation in any one-year period.
After taking off the entire month of August, I presided over the worst security failure in U.S. history.
I garnered the most sympathy ever for the U.S. after the World Trade Center attacks and less than a year later made the U.S. the most hated
 country in the world, the largest failure of diplomacy in world history.
I have set the all-time record for most people worldwide to simultaneously protest me in public venues (15 million people), shattering the record
for protests against any person in the history of mankind.
I am the first President in U.S. history to order an unprovoked, pre-emptive attack and the military occupation of a sovereign nation. I did
 so against the will of the United Nations, the majority of U.S. citizens, and the world community.
I have cut health care benefits for war veterans and support a cut in benefits for active duty troops and their families in wartime.
In my State of the Union Address I lied about our reasons for attacking Iraq and then blamed the lies on our British friends.  I am the first
President in history to have a majority of Europeans (71%) view my presidency as the biggest threat to world  peace and security.
I am supporting development of a clear "Tactical Bunker Buster," a WMD.
I have so far failed to fulfill my pledge to bring Osama Bin Laden to justice.

RECORDS AND REFERENCES:
All records of my tenure as governor of Texas are now in my father's library, sealed and unavailable for public view.
All records of SEC investigations into my insider trading and my bankrupt companies are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public view.
All records or minutes from meetings that I, or my Vice-President, attended regarding public energy policy are sealed in secrecy and unavailable for public review.

that might refresh my recollection of where I was.

Dick says I don't have to do shit.  And I think that's a good plan.

you finish wallowing in your juvenile self amusement please report to your teacher for further instructions, second grade class is being dismissed for the day, you will be directed to where you can get on the short bus. Go home to your mommy and get a nice warm glass of milk and an Oreo before your nap.

What exactly are you denying, and what evidence do you have?

so that you don't miss the short bus, your buddy Buck is saving you a seat.

Also, follow harryj's our President's lead and don't leave a 2nd grade class until dismissal!  Even if the country is under attack!  NO EXCEPTIONS TO THIS POLICY!

(sorry, i had to)

barstool.   We'll get you a pillow so you can rest your head on the bar.

lousy Blowjob!!  Well, not that any blowjob is actually lousy, but,...

I guess it is alright to have stupid people doing stupid things in the White House to the detriment of this country, but you try to get a little nookie on the side with an intern while in the White House and all of the dittoheads are all over your ass trying to run you out of office!!

Bill. I believe the entire impeachment thing would never have happened had you not been caught, late one night, sneaking into the bedroom of that fat legged witch caled Shillary. That was an exhibition of such poor judgment that could not be ignored. Couldn't you have just snuck into the White House kitchen, grabbed a melon and carved a hole in it? Anything would have been better than what you stooped to.

We are talking about Hillary, aren't we?  I don't have sex with Hillary. However, Monica was a different story altogteher. I stand by my statement that I didn't have carnal relations  with Monica, but I'll admit that she sucked me off several times, you bet!! You know, Harry, once you stick your dick in a woman's mouth, Harry, it's difficult to put it back in her pussy, you know, Harry?

Yes, Harry, it was poor judgment on my part to get sucked off by Monica, I must confess. I am a man; I am weak. But at least my poor judgment didn't send this country's best & brightest to a unwinnable war in Iraq! Don't you think we shouldn't ignore that fact either, Harry?? WMD?? What a laugh!! It's all about the oil, Harry!

As for your "melon solution", it sounds like you do it often enough to know how to do it properly, Harry. Better get yourself an intern and lay off that melon stuff, Harry.  You know, you can go blind and grow hair on your palms too if you keep it up! And if you do, then you might just look like Bushieboy!

I am not here to argue with you.  People can and should be able to voice other perspectives on issues without you having to bust your gut.

Pops once said to me that one should never argue with an unarmed man and that, my friend, applies to you. I have seen your numerous posts on these boards. I find your arguements to be pointless, the issues you raise are generally unsound or have been disproven, your reasoning is flawed, your wit is non-existant, plus you have a tendency to go "postal" and start calling people childish names. Thus, I will refrain from intellegent discourse with you.

In closing, I will add that in the grand illumination we call life, you, Sir, are a 15 watt light bulb!

Really, where are you on the others who do this?  I say - if it is good for Drfill, jack0 and others... then why is HarryJ to be singled out.  Lead by example.  ME!?  I don't really care but like to see things even...

fucking up the FBI and the CIA.

but maybe you had too much to do, like getting nookie to pay attention to that.....

James Woolsey? Who the fuck is he?

hahahaha

i like telling jokes,.

God Bless the USA One Nation Under God Indivisable with Liberty and Justice for all. God Bless Our President, Give him the sterngth, courage and wisdom to lead us forth in defense of those who would kill us and destroy our way of life.

"our enemies never stop thinking of ways to destroy America, and neither do we".

That's what you said.

HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA KEEP FROM SHOOTING YOURSELF?????????!!!!!

Fucking idiot.  You're so fucking busy yelling that we shoot somebody, like somebody you think might be muslimic, WHY DON'T YOU FUCKING VOLUNTEER LIKE TILLMAN DID?!!!   Get your fucking ass dirty, and find out it's not like fucking MTV, asshole.

God bless us and protect us from those who holler about protecting us.

-- Modified on 10/20/2007 9:21:51 AM

who would 'friendly fire' the guy next to you.

That's enough for you today.  Get a cab, go home and sober up.

Ditto, I am beginning to wonder if this HUMA fellow has any education at all?

Probably not.  You don't seem to be the sort of fellow who could follow the "reply" buttons.

But just for laughs, let's find out what sort of education YOU have, and then we'll see about HUMA, eh?

What sort of education DO you have?