Serious Question.
Can someone that appears to have a conscious unlearn deep engrained entitlement from lack of father figure in his life, didn't mature mentally and susceptible to scams personality. Someone that is mostly good, but haIs s really unhealthy habits of taking things from people without asking; such as other employee's food, drinks, cigarettes. Not just eating part of the cherries and blueberries,, but eats them all and leaves the owner with none?? Will ask sometimes and if not around will just take. I find it sneaky and disturbing. It says to me. You have 6 Gatorades and Dr. Peppers and I have none, so it's okay because I am thirsty and you are obviously better off than me. Can this be unlearned with job counseling/mentoring? Or am I wasting time and setting myself up for bigger thief? Can I teach somebody that it is not okay to eat my whole box of breakfast bars? Or steal another employee's pack of cigarettes because he has 2?
Can entitlement be unlearned?
Thanks!
Madison
response and that was from someone who does not have even the slightest clue what the human psyche is made of. I have attached a link that describes what Morris Massey calls a "significant emotional event."
Human beings experience countless events in their life time. Our personalities are formed at a very young age. We also learn a variety of habits which without highly focused attention and determination can be difficult to change.
An experience that has the power to change the fundamental nature of ones life is called a "significant emotional event." But of course, sometimes, such an occurrence can be a SEE for one person and not for another as they may not share the same life experiences and this event may not be relevant to all. Other SEE's are relevant to almost everyone.
Hope this helps. Please be careful who you take advice from. If you read some of the posts here, you will find more than a few who are not the sharpest knives in the drawer. Especially the one who replied to your post.
I will read the link later. I knew it had something to do with his father passing away at 36. My employee is 40 years old and seems to have stopped maturing about the time his dad passed away. He lives with his disabled mother ((on oxygen tank) and his older brother disabled (dialysis 3x week) His brother is married but has a girlfriend live with them. None of this should be any of my business, but he shares with me that he has to lock his toothpaste up in his safe, because others in the house will use and not replace. I believe food is fought over in his house. He claims his brother is a thief to always watch him and not turn your back. My employee is black and also has a live in white girlfriend. He is 40 and never had any children or married.
He is a hard worker but I have been working on reining him in. I almost fired him for making a childish comment that he hated all police officers right in front of a police officer customer. When I went to fire him, he back up and said "whoa, whoa" "I will not talk to your customers anymore"
-- Modified on 9/5/2017 8:53:17 AM
That might change them, it'll show them alittle tough love. But if he's also a compulsive narcissistic liar, who hold a position of authority then that would be a bigger problem. See those that have a low self esteem, that have been branded as "losers", were bully and became social misfit, will gravitate to someone like a.........................trump.
That WOULD be a "significant emotional event." Problem is, as you so articulately stated, if that person was as DENSE as some of our contributors here, it would simply stop them from stealing from HER but may not eliminate this problem entirely.
Plus, also beyond your example, if it was one of our "hillbilly" losers here, they might be so used to getting their asses kicked, it may have no affect on them at all. Hence, an event may be a "significant emotional event" for one person and not another. Some on here are in a class all by themselves and their posts, leave one wondering if they are totally stupid, or just glutton for punishment!
"Can I teach somebody that it is not okay to eat my whole box of breakfast bars? Or steal another employee's pack of cigarettes because he has 2?"
You've asked many questions, so it's difficult to focus on just one.
"Can entitlement be unlearned?"
If it's baked into a personality disorder, sociopathy; no! If it's been developed due to upbringing, there are possible ways to reduce it. I've seen degrees of entitlement reduced in teens after they've 'volunteered' to built shelters at the Tijuana dump. This is something that is not taught, nor or you making them behave in a different way. As been mention previously, it is a significant emotional event.
Also, don't confuse entitlement with sociopathy. Your questions, regarding of whom you speak, should revolve more around that issue.
I don't know what to do with him. He works 2 jobs and is a hard worker to try to get out of his situation and get in to his own place. I have tried to teach him to ask me for a small loan since his paychecks are a week in the hole; instead of taking things.
I have a new security system in my office and he seems very concerned with where my cameras are. I feel uneasy about trusting him since he will take food, drinks and cigs from others.
and is it really fair to your other employees that you knowingly put them and their property at risk every single day by continuing to keep a known thief in their midst?
I don't mean to sound unsympathetic to this person, but it's just like the "Captain Save A Ho" syndrome, you can't help everyone and from your many years of posting here it is, or at last it should be obvious that you are not strong enough to give him the "tough love" he needs. You need to get rid of this person, and the sooner the better. If not for your own benefit, then for the benefit of your other employees. A person like this can quickly become a morale killing cancer to your business.
that is what I needed to hear and knew in my heart and gut instinct. Madison
