Dear Sir:

The results from the lab work confirm that the red ring around your penis was not cancer.
It was lipstick.
We apologize for the amputation.

Sincerely,

Obamacare Medical Staff.

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Medical notice from American insurance company;

Dear Sir;

Our lab results confirm that you do have cancer of the penis. We regret that we will not be able to provide coverage for treatment, due to a pre-existing condition; medical records indicate that you have been circumcised.

ps; Remember that your premium will increase next month.