In the year 2006, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and overpopulated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.
Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans."
He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights."
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard - but no Ark.
"Noah!" He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"
"Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah, "but things have changed. I needed a building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the
height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board for a decision.
Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to I told them that the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.
Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local trees in order to save the
spotted owl. I tried to convince the environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!
When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me. They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. They argued the accommodation was too restrictive, and it was cruel and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.
Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.
I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building crew.
Immigration and Naturalization is checking the green-card status of most of the people who want to work.
The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire only Union workers with Ark-building experience.
To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.
So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to finish this Ark."
Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow stretched across the sky. Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean you're not going to destroy the world?"
No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."

"It's the 21st century, idiot.   Google Spanos Bros
http://www.spanopoulos-group.com/images/split-marianna-ix.jpg
and outsource your problem, get a solution in 72 hours.  Do I have to tell you EVERYTHING, numb-nuts?  Are you really the fellows I want reproducing?"

This is a rational question, not the bait for a pissing contest (therefore Jacko is banned from partisipating in this thread unless he includes FACTS relivent to the question in his post!)

Seriously though, each of these agencies and the complications they bring were established under one administration or another, it shouldn't be hard to figure out which sides idealogies birth which restrictions and the agancies that enforce them... (I believe almost all of these came into existance in the past 100 years, so determining which party held power at the time the "need" for these restrictions was realized by government shouldn't be impossible)

-building permits

-inspector (Sprinkler system)

-Development Appeal Board (neighborhood zoning)

-Department of Transportation(overhead obstructions)

-DNR (ban on cutting local trees)

-environmentalists (Spotted Owl)

-animal rights group (confining wild animals)

- EPA (environmental impact study)

- Human Rights Commission (minorities)

-Immigration and Naturalization (green-card status)

- trades unions (hire only Union workers)

- IRS (seized assets)

to break everything down into partisan levels. After all it may be humorous to make fun of building permits but I am sure that you and Doctor Gonzo would be complaining if someone tried to build some monstrosity that lowers the property value of your own houses. Oh, and FYI the EPA was started by Nixon.

Even if Doc-Gonzo moves in next door,,, But if I moved to an area that has "existing covanants" on it, then I except those pre-existing conditions when I agree to buy the land... Likewise, if Doc is there first, THEN I buy the land next to him and erect my statue, he should be able to sue me and win damages... It's really simple, but we as a nation have lost our way to reason just justice...

Thank you for your Nixon contribution, now the score is: Republican's [1], Democrat's [?]

I'm just curious.. Did you only mention the EPA because it was the only one you found to be created under a Republican Prez? (Who had to work under a Democrat-conrtolled Congress, BTW...)

good Grief, even a joke gets turned into a partisan pissing contest.

For the record, if Ben moved in next door and erected a 500 foot statue of Jesus on his front lawn... who fucking cares? It blocks the sunlight from the West, and my views are from my backyard anyway. Besides, the Star of David on my roof is 600 feet high and lights up the mountainside every Friday at sundown.

You plugged that star into MY plugin!!!! I'll see you in court!!

trailer park might allow your 500 ft Jesus statue as well as your car on blocks but any place I would choose to live in probably has "existing covanants" so I will assume that we will never be neighbors.

Actually, I brought up the EPA because I knew that off of the top of my head. Here is another one, though. Human Rights, I believe, were invented by Jesus Christ. I imagine that you consider him a Republican as well.

After all, it would only require a two inch toothpick to create a life sized replica, and clearly has more meaning to you than some 2,000 year old bullshit artist that you only pretend to believe in.

respond to it. I responded to Ben's question. Is that not allowed?

-- Modified on 11/30/2006 7:30:57 PM

Hey Ben Dover,

Nixon also initiated the Office of Management and Budget so they were not be cost overruns. He also started the Department of Occupational Safey and Health (OSHA) so the workers would be go home safe to their families.

Republicans = 3 Democrats = 0

-- Modified on 11/30/2006 9:20:34 PM

i suppose thats ok then... :P

(1)  Jeremy & I recognized that Doc's post is primarily a joke, with some political overtones.
But YOU think it's a serious political question.  So, you delete & undelete & delete & undelete my counterpoint post in the same semi-joke vein - that Noah might get with the program & adapt to his 21st century circumstances instead of making excuses, because ALL of these advantages (eg steel hulls, steel plants) were developed to benefit humans, and some people can figure it out.

Why are you so tone-deaf, Ben?  All of us are at one time or another, but you, of all people, deliberately wear blinders.

(2)  So you have this LIST (supra) of agencies that "restrict personal freedom", and you want us to opine in terms of vague, abstract political philosophies, so poorly defined that they're MEANINGLESS (sorta like your trying to read tea leaves to figure out what will happen in Iraq) as to WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR RESTRICTING PERSONAL FREEDOM.

(MASSIVE SIGH)  Ben, you haven't so much as googled any of these agencies, have you?   What is the sense in your expert opinion about agencies that you know less than nothing about?  (Ben et al, thats what RTFM means.)

Well, if you're in the habit of thinking thru your ass, it makes all the sense in the world, because that would be about how you feel, not about the objective world around you.

(3)  OK, now here's a RHETORICAL QUESTION.  Do you care, do you want to really know about the relationships and purpose of these and thousands of other agencies?  Or do you just want to carp?

Because if you want to carp, guess what, American fair play (which you of course deride) allows us to carp back.   Your disbelief in and commitment to destroy fair play is what makes you a one-way, anti-American, ayatollah who is only looking for your own free lunch, and you think you ain't sharing it with the providers.

(4)  Do you want facts?  I mean, enough to make a few keystrokes?   Well, try a google search, fellow.   IMHO, any poster owes his fellows that courtesy, the courtesy of Reading The Fucking Manual - or at least the Table of Contents.

Or are you just going to blow them off because they're not scriptural?  OK, Ben you got me, that's another RHETORICAL QUESTION.   BTW, how come you guys all work from the same bible, but always have different answers, and you change those answers from time to time?   Do you think for a MINUTE that I couldn't break out a bible and find something to support any specious crap I wanted to spew?

(5) The net is a wonderful thing, because it allows tons of information.  Wikipedia is a wonderful concept, because it allows efficient and informal cross-examination by anybody with a keyboard, and provides a quick & dirty consensus INCLUDING ALL MAJOR SOURCES about any subject.  IT IS MINIMAL RESEARCH that you have no excuse for avoiding.

(6) Wikipedia has a liberal bias?  Ben, READ what you're quoting.  Doesn't it say, the publishers believe it has a slight liberal bias because it is open to the entire English speaking world which is probably more "liberal" than the American public generally?   So what that says is, the publisher believes Americans generally are more conservatively biased than the English speaking world as a whole?  SO WHAT?  Don't you realize he's calling YOU biased?!

Ben, generally speaking you will find that all people who hold or control knowledge are more "liberal" than those who don't, by virtue of the fact that they do hold/control knowledge.   Liberalism generally is about knowing and using facts - for better or worse - while conservatism is about fear of change, fear almost always driven by lack of information.   When you lack information, why don't you go get it, instead of quivering in terror?  

I'll tell you why:  you & every other Bible thumper of every race creed & color prefers the mental certainty of faith,  to knowing objectively how things work.  Knowledge scares you, and/or is too much work.   Maybe you're too chicken, maybe you're too lazy.  Maybe you're just a troll in the river of life.  

But does that suit you to responsibility and accountability?  Of course not.  Accountabiliy means you have to explain your answers, and you can't and won't do that - just like most ideologues.

(7) So, yes, although "liberal" isn't a clearly defined term, people who can explain what they are doing, and get consistent and predictable results, do tend to be "liberal", and yes, ignorant fucks do tend to be "conservative".  Why is obvious:  if you were ignorant, it could be pretty risky to stick your nose out the trailer door.

Is that a good bias? Well, it depends on what you like.   If you like good management skills, yes, it's good.  If you like drama, then no, conservatism is a better bias.  It will get you much more drama.

(8)  Ben, which one of these agencies do you want to know about?  Why haven't you googled or wiki'd them?  If I do it for you, why should I think you will open the link?  You've already told us you're committed to the free lunch aspect of christianity; and I'll tell  you right now, I cannot and will not even suggest a free lunch.

(9) Ben, if you want to bitch about shit that you have no desire to truly learn about, then you must either (a) let others bitch back in the same language (DOUCHEBAG!!) or (b) accept that you are a one-way, unAmerican lazy-assed parasite sponging off the nation's producers.  Your choice, buddy, and calling if different don't make it different.

(10)  So which one do you want to actually know about?  Because you know I'm gonna give you the basic homework, AND THEN we can talk about the stuff I know off the top of my head, like where it fits in the social spectrum.

(11) Ben, you're gonna find out precisely what Jeremy said, these agencies were established for reasons you take for granted.  Some may be more or less wise now, but EVERY human arrangement restricts some freedom to create other freedoms, and you don't realize that because you haven't thought, and you can't think because you don't care enough to google.  Ben, that's pathetic, and the conclusion is inescapable, your behavior is pathetic.  Nothing personal, you understand, you're just sorta like a tick, or other parasite.

(12) Ben, you probably can't realize how toasted you're going to be.   It's not entirely personal, because you're not the only ignorant, amoral slut in the world who hides behind religion.  You may someday begin to understand why I and many others dismiss you as not deserving a serious response.   Don't be calling people douche-bags when you've got menses all over you.

would you give Noah a pass to avoid the 21st century?

If I were THE LORD, I'd be telling him, "look, excuses are like assholes, everybody has one and they all stink."

If on the other hand we're kvetching over psychotropics, I'll have a cold Bud.

Land regulations usually fall under one of 3 sources, (a) zoning (see eg police powers under the Ambler etc cases), (b) private CC&Rs, and (c) the common law of nuisance.

Once again, Ben, it would be cool if you RTFM, or maybe talked to one of your neighbors or the local RE agent about the predictable result of your putting a 500 ft statue on your typical one-eighth acre lot.   How, eg, would you feel about the neighbor opening a feedlot, and what would that do to your property?

Ben, I clean forgot myself.  Christians don't think with their heads, they think with their asses, and then only when they have to.   What does the scripture say about your neighbors?  Probably something about smiting them.   That works real good until you run into somebody who has not been looking for a free lunch all his life, and as a result, is better at smiting than you.  Then, Ben, you're really up a creek.  Totally fucked, so to speak.

But it doesn't matter to you, as long as you got your free lunch salvation today.


Your concept of land use law is sorta feudal with a dose of libertarianism.  If you were a feudal lord, your lord in turn might have something to say about what you wanted to build on the land you "owned".

OK Ben we know you're not serious, you're just fucking around.  So why do you talk like you might know what you're talking about?

Go to the various Federal, state, county AND city websites.   Each will have a good start on the list of the various agencies contained under each, and some idea of the purpose of each.  Then you can start tracking down the history for each.

Some of the ones you mentioned were private, or totally non-existent (undefined).

So you're going to pontificate about political philosophy when you need help to name 3 administrative agencies?

OF COURSE!!  You're born again!!  Look to see how many of these you can find in the scriptures.  If you can't, then they're probably the Anti-christ.

SO, Ben, here's the deal.  You can make real money here, just like Pat Robertson.   You can get on the 'net, and say that if a city doesn't praise Jesus (and you're his collection agent) by sending offerings of folding green paper, then you won't pray and beg Jesus to lay off them, when Jesus sends locusts and floods to kill them.

Be careful though.  If anybody takes that locust shit seriously, and gets the idea that Jesus is a real person, well, that's extortion, and you're a criminal accessory.  Be sure you don't make this offer to anybody that has any brains, or you could wind up behind bars.

And that you washed down a hand-full of psychotropics with you beers, lol!

Thanks for all the new reading material! I'm still traveling, but you've brought a great deal of entertainment to my night! I'm sorry I can't return the favor... It's damn hard keeping my car on the road while tapping out these responses to you on a 2" screen!

Your post under Gonzo's was not meant to be deleted, that was a tech-issue on my end when I switched your moderation status... Also, TER was doing some server updates at the time and I was also approving posts for the Texas board at the time in a different window. All while my login kept timing out... Long story-short is that your posts went to the Texas board for a bit until I figured out my tech snafu and how to fix it!
Your response to Doc went back to where it belonged...

 BUT! As far as the post you put up under  my post that I moved off of the thread, THAT I did on purpose, with the full intent of pissing in your Wheaties.... Mission accomplished!

(As far as your moderated status was conserned, I did only flip the switch for about 20 min. and I cannot speak to why you seemed to be "locked out" for the rest of the day, but I thought you were suspiciously quiet for way too long, so I believe you, but please understand it wasn't my intent to limit your access or "bounce" any of your posts...

If I decide to Moderate/lockout/ban you at some point in the future, I'll communicate that openly and in avance so you realize what is happening and don't getmistakenly lead into another one of your censorship hissy-fits! When I do actually censor you I'll tell you straight out!

you still aren't even trying to answer the substance of the question, ie, why are you both so dumb AND lazy to even ask a question like that?

Wll, it's because you do everything like your religion - you know you're a fuckup, so you look for some bullshit and convince yourself it's an easy way out.

You're ignorant because you're too lazy to google; and then you think you can find the answer to EPA in the scriptures.   Then you wonder why people don't like you fucking things up.  

Typical conservative.

any question.

How THE FUCK can you take yourself seriously when you're too FUCKING lazy to google?   WHy do you even bother to post the tripe that's fermenting in your underemployed brain?

the biggest restriction on personal freedom in the world today is the aggressive ignorance of religious fundamentalists, ie people who think they can pull open their bible and find out how to fly an airplane, let alone any 19th century problem.

or are ya still thumbing yer bible for "existing covenants"?

It's really simple, you're too lazy to google to find how stupidly incomplete your idea is, and you prefer to come up with some DUMBASS scriptural rationalization, because it's easy, and that sort of laziness is exactly why you and every other relgious rightie are undermining our nation.

I need to talk to your care provider at what ever facility your instatutionalized at, they need to limit your internet time to 2 hours per day... Make that one hour!