WARNING - WARNING - THIS IS POLITICAL SATIRE - WARNING - WARNING

Vietnam 'Atrocity Vets' Group Backs Kerry

(2004-05-03) -- Just hours before a group of Vietnam vets are scheduled to publicly declare Sen. John Forbes Kerry unfit to be Commander in Chief, another group of veterans has come out strongly in support of Mr. Kerry's presidential candidacy.

Vets Who Committed Atrocities in Vietnam (VWCAIV) today endorsed Mr. Kerry, calling him "the only candidate who's fit to fight terrorism because he thinks like a terrorist."

"Like us, Mr. Kerry has acknowledged committing atrocities in Vietnam," said the unnamed spokesman for VWCAIV. "That's the kind of toughness we need in the next Commander in Chief."

The anonymous VWCAIV spokesman actually released his statement through an unnamed aide to the Kerry campaign. The group's membership list remains as top-secret today as it was in 1971 when a young John Forbes Kerry first revealed the atrocities in testimony before the U.S. Senate.