Weekly local leftist tabloid has several editorialists on staff, including two outright socialists, one radical who hates both major parties, one moderate Democrat, and then to pretend to be even-handed, they included a syndicated column by William Buckley. Now that he's passed, they needed a replacement and came up with...Chuck Norris!

And yes, he writes like a retired karate champ.

-- Modified on 5/12/2008 8:01:56 PM

There's only one thing left to do:  stop reading!

You never did?  Oh.  How could I have known?


Socialist to right of them,
Socialists to left of them,
Socialists in front of them
Volley'd & thunder'd;
Storm'd at with pen & words,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.

Also known as: a parasite, a lazy liar, a leech, a meddling knee jerker, a thief, a coward, a low life, an arrogant-ignorant pseudo-liberal, a shirker, a whiner, an elitist piece of feces, a Democrat sheep herder buying votes with money stolen from those who work.

Eu perdi o meu relógio
Eu não sei que horas são
Perguntei se alguém achou
Todo mundo disse não!
Não! Oh! Não! Oh! Não!
Pega o fone e diz um nome
Mas ao menos vê se come
Eu perguntei se alguém comeu
Todo mundo respondeu não!
Não! Oh! Não! Oh! Não!
{Refrão}
C#m E A
Ana Banana!
Por tua causa eu tô em cana , baby!

chief executive officer, Klansman, tax evader, draft dodger, white-collar crybaby.

That sound you just heard is me turning over in my grave!! Chuck F'ing Norris?? That man couldn't write evenly within a grammer school coloring book let alone put together a complete & coherent sentence.  How is he going to be able serve as a respectable & insightful commentator? Is he going to grunt out his political position?? Is he going to offer the same mindless & pointless gutter-driven drivel as Ann "Don't call me Skanky" Coutler or Bill "F'ing Clueless" O'Riely or Rush "Addicted to Painkillers & Dittoheads" Limbaugh??

Has today's media sunk so low that it would warmly embrace & elevate a guy whose primary qualifications include regularly getting the shit beaten out of himself on a stupid, insipid & mindless TV show? I am afraid that this serves more of a commenatary on the lack of intelligent commentators out there as well as the depth (or rather, lack of depth) of today's electorate. I am so glad that I have gently passed from this earth!

and stop drinking so much before noon or you'll land up spending all of your monthly socialist insecurity check at Willie's Bar & Tavern.

I need to make a living here.