And you filthy little peckerheads say I don't have a sense of humor! Well, chew on this one,..

Three Arkansas surgeons were playing golf together and discussing surgeries they had performed. One of them said, 'I'm the best surgeon in Arkansas .

In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost seven fingers in an accident.   I reattached them and 8 months later he performed a private concert for the Queen of England.

'The second surgeon said. 'That's nothing. A young man lost an arm and both legs in an accident. I reattached them and 2 years later he won a gold medal in track and field events in the Olympics.'

The third surgeon said, 'You guys are amateurs. Several years ago a woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with was the woman's blonde hair and the horse's ass. I was able to put them together and now she's running for President...