A cyclist taunted a group of Border Patrol agents in Chicago by saying: "I'm not a US citizen."  They mostly ignored him and then laughed at him.  He was going to ride away but he dropped his phone.  When he went back to pick it up, Border Patrol saw their opportunity and said: "Get him!!"  Hilarity ensued:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w_V8gWcV6gc

They ran like 20 yards before they ran out of gas..
The criteria to join ICE is now if you can walk and chew gum… you’re hired