Me too.

People wait in ridiculously long lines, to get something at a cheaper price, only one day a year.

I'm going to do better than that. I'll offer you a ridiculously cheaper price, for the entire 3 day weekend...

See me anytime  I'm available 7am-Midnight (at my incall in downtown phoenix) between now and midnight Sunday and you can take 50% off my website listed rates.

Thats only $150/hr
or $100 for a HH if you cant find a full hour to slip away during your shopping duties.

Tell the wife you want to go out and get her something nice for the holiday, treat yourself and then you'll have a clear mind to shop with. The crowds wont be able to wipe that smile off your face.