Did the bearded man in the outdated red velvet suit leave you out in the cold this year? Has all the hussling, shopping, annoying family members  and idiot drivers push you to the brink?

Come cry and fondle my breasts, abs or any other body part you so desire, to soothe and re-energize yourself, for you still have to get through New Year's Eve.

I might even send you out the door with some homemade banana bread.........contact me at [email protected] for an appointment. I do require screening you cannot side step it, nor do the jig around it.