I recently got started in this hobby. I selected a well reviewed provider, sent her my request and some verification information. I had to provide some details about me and my employment. I understand how nervewracking that can be, but if you want the reward, you have to take the risk. In my case, the selection was everything, she turned out to be the biggest sweetheart on the planet. I think you will find once you are on the inside, no pun intended, you can feel safer and more comfortable about your identity. The community as a whole has a definite vested interest in maintaining the privacy of all. good luck and enjoy. I am 55 and have never had so much enjoyment in my life.