Part One - Trojan Magnum observation. Twice now in the past month - with two different ladies, two different cities, I've had Magnums break on me during sex!  Both were provided by the ladies and no I am not tha big a guy.  However, in both cases the ladies applied said failed protection by inserting their fingers and stretching the condom over the head prior to rolling it down the shaft. I have to assume at this point that's NOT the way to apply a cover.  First time it happened it was a well known lady, we each went and got tested plus provided tests from the past so we could both rest at ease. However, the second time ....

Part Two - OMFG here I sit in LA traffic after what has to be the absolute worst session of my Hobbying career. Her CityVibe ad was off the hook hot. Two reviews on TER from reputable guys with good histories obviously not shills.  More than what I want to pay and a bit out of my way but WTF. Her pics were stunning.

Bad sign #1 - one of the reviews did mention she did not resemble her pics. #2 - she starts discussing specifics via email.  #3 her TER profile says 31-35 but she shares she's 39 but with the bod of a smoking hot 25 year old. Ooooooh Kay.

Show up at incall and it's a rundown POS apartment.  Get buzzed in and knock on the door. Pablo the Handyman answers the door - toolbelt and all and runs off down the hall. Bad bad bad sign. Behind him is the most worn out sad and tired Provider I've laid my eyes on. Run I say. Stay my penus insists. It'll get better.

I will spare you the gory details save to say here I sit stuck in LA traffic, broken condom #2,  after which she offered the back door - oh hell no. I can't decide whether to cut my dick off all together, or douse it in lighter fluid and set it on fire. I do know i have to get tested and I won't be seeing anyone for probably 6 months. FML but thank god for masturbation and free porn!