I was about 21 and not in the scene. Had no clue about the hobby so it's a little off topic but worth mentioning. I was set up on a blind date. We met at a coffee house and I was delighted by this handsome, slightly older man and his interest in me was obvious. He asked me if I wanted to get out of there and do something else. I thought sure, coffee house's are kinda boring. We get in his car and he asks if I want to stop and get a something to drink. Sure! We do and then drive onto a motel that advertises rooms by the hour. I knew then what the deal was and it totally creeped me out. I told him I need him to take me back to my car right now. He looked confused but obliged my request. As we were leaving the motel we were immediately pulled over. The officer said it was because of not stopping completely at a stop sign. He asks us what we were doing there and I don't remember what we told him. He has us get out of the car and is talking to us like complete crap. He searches the car and behind the drivers seat he pulls out a duffle bag. Puts it on top of the car and pulls out every item in there. A couple dog collars, leashes, chains, dill does, butt plugs, lube etc. I was horrified, not exactly scared but I just didn't realize this is what he had in mind. I was also extremely embarrassed looking at those items displayed on top of the car and having the officers talk to me like I was out tricking when I was only naive. And he didn't stop there, he called in k9, walked it around and through the car and eventually said that there must have been a pot seed in there or something otherwise the dog wouldn't have alerted. He let us go.
I liked the thread on dumb provider/client story. Everyone loves a good laugh so share your story.
Mine: Extended Weekend in New Orleans
I walked down Bourbon Street with everyone yelling at the girl in the green shirt to show her tits (that being me)... I was being respectful, at this point, to my gentlemen friend and thus, I didn't get any beads thrown at me.
Later in the night as we venture into the little night clubs, I see this shooter girl running around and offering shots of what I USUALLY consider Kool-aid because it usually doesn't have much alcohol in those little things. Wellllll, we weren't in Kansas anymore and those things were loaded. The last thing I remember was being on stage with the band.
So I wake up the next morning and my client is in the floor because I pissed myself and the entire bed. Shoot me already! I had a gash in my arm and I could barely comprehend where I was.
The client woke up and told me that the gash came from the horse's water trough on the sidewalk (I fell in it) then I fell down on the sidewalk. Kill me now!
So the next night, we strolled down Bourbon Street and I had a bottle of water in my hand when someone yelled over to us and said, "Ahhhhh, you're drinking water tonight I see!" I asked who that was and my client said it was just someone that felt sorry for him and helped him get me back to the hotel.
Ok... there... Beat that one! LOL (crawling under a rock now)
Great story Starr.
I didn't find this story funny until many moons later (intentional pun).
In 2002 I met a local provider who, in her ads, stated that she was a greek expert and catered to "anal virgins." She was on TER and had reviews and they were all great - just not overly detailed. Feeling a bit naughty, I called her up and we met. She was a very nice woman and we had a great conversation.
We then headed to begin the BCD activities. I was excited for days because this was something I've never experienced. We got "comfortable" and then she took out her purse. Out of her purse came the biggest dildo I've ever seen. This thing had to be a foot long and then some. I was thinking, "hmmm...OK, maybe she's going to put on a show for me...kinky...I like it.....I can dig that." She put the dildo down and climbed on for some fun DFK.
(Do I EVEN have to finish this story? This isn't a real cliffhanger)
She then whispers, "are you ready for me to fuck your ass with my dildo?" I asked her to repeat what she said, hoping I misinterpreted. She again reaffirmed those tragic words.
I told her that I wasn't into that and it began a whole "this was supposed to be your ass, not mine" conversation. She spent the next 15 minutes trying to convince me that she should at least try to stick a smaller version of Monster Cock in my butt. Being the gentleman, I continued to decline. Luckily, I wasn't violated my that monsterous tool she had in her purse and we found a way to have a good time anyway - and my ass stayed intact.
I noticed her ads going forward were much clearer. Now, when I see "greek" providers, although I'm tempted, I'm always a bit suspicious....
Doogieaz
Wonder Woman...
I can never forget the date in which a blonde Wonder Woman came to life.
Another extended date.
Let me say that I've seen this client several several times but I had to ponder
whether or not we'd get past this first extended weekend after the events
that took place.
This guy was wonderful. His big thing was to buy lots of clothes, he already
purchased prior to me getting there, and have me excitedly go through his
"drawers" and closets and see what I liked. My job was to try on all the outfits
that he had laid out for me. I did so and he told me to look through and see
if there was something else I liked. I open a drawer and there lay a true blue
Wonder Woman outfit complete with the lasso and head piece. I said, "wow,
check this out, a Wonder Woman outfit." His ears perked and it was on!
He requested I put the outfit on. I said, "Wonder Woman isn't blonde though?"
So I agreed just for the hell of it. What would it hurt just to see, huh?
Well... I was then ordered into the bedroom where I was then THE WonderWoman
(roleplay) and I was told that the lasso, when wrapped around me, would make
me under his command and I had to do whatever he liked with me.
I was ordered to lie down and lie still and not move, to shut my eyes and not
say one word. Ok, easy... As he talks, though, and plays out his fantasy of how
I'm the all mighty WonderWoman and now he has me under his spell and I'm now
his to do whatever he likes. He's whispering all of this in my ear and I'm to stay
completely still as if I'm unconscious. Long story short, he talked and talked
through this fantasy as if he knew the script of an original series (porn style).
Wonder Woman was VIOLATED!
I gotta hand it to ya, I didn't laugh not once! But I walked away wondering if I'd
ever see him again. I didn't think I could pull off such a performance. I've seen
him so many times, he knows me better than I know myself. He's one in a million,
just a little freak... like me! I still think this story is funny to tell so I thought I'd
share it.
Starr
I was about 21 and not in the scene. Had no clue about the hobby so it's a little off topic but worth mentioning. I was set up on a blind date. We met at a coffee house and I was delighted by this handsome, slightly older man and his interest in me was obvious. He asked me if I wanted to get out of there and do something else. I thought sure, coffee house's are kinda boring. We get in his car and he asks if I want to stop and get a something to drink. Sure! We do and then drive onto a motel that advertises rooms by the hour. I knew then what the deal was and it totally creeped me out. I told him I need him to take me back to my car right now. He looked confused but obliged my request. As we were leaving the motel we were immediately pulled over. The officer said it was because of not stopping completely at a stop sign. He asks us what we were doing there and I don't remember what we told him. He has us get out of the car and is talking to us like complete crap. He searches the car and behind the drivers seat he pulls out a duffle bag. Puts it on top of the car and pulls out every item in there. A couple dog collars, leashes, chains, dill does, butt plugs, lube etc. I was horrified, not exactly scared but I just didn't realize this is what he had in mind. I was also extremely embarrassed looking at those items displayed on top of the car and having the officers talk to me like I was out tricking when I was only naive. And he didn't stop there, he called in k9, walked it around and through the car and eventually said that there must have been a pot seed in there or something otherwise the dog wouldn't have alerted. He let us go.