I'm amazed that Sedona's post would inspire so many divergent spinoff's. From my perspective it was actually a simple and straight forward post trying to explain "the possibilities" regarding another providers actions from the point of view of another well respected and experienced individual.

Why do we seem to need to twist these things into more or less then they are. That post can be taken very simply at face value as intended.

"Gee guys we need to assess possible risks that might not be apparent to you but tend to influence our decision making process....here are a few of them for you to chew on......"

Why make it more than it is...

I cannot blame Sedona, nor any other provider, for having some of the concerns they do.  I wish, very much, that this were a relatively safe and secure business for both The Providers and for The Hobbyists, but the fact is that it isn't.  I don't blame any Provider for not wanting to take a call if it feels even a little off to her.  The risks are far too great because of that very small percentage of us who are, for lack of a better term, "evil."  We all know of Providers who have been hurt, or worse, and I have never complained when one didn't feel safe coming to see me.  She doesn't know me, and I have no reason to be offended by her assessment, even if it is incorrect.

There was, in fact, one Provider who couldn't seem to verify me.  She was frightened when I offered additional means of verification.  I guess she took it wrong.  I spooked her somehow.

I certainly never intended to do that, but I also had no interest in continuing to communicate with someone in whom I had unintentionally caused fear.  I never emailed her again.  

I regret I'll never get to see this Provider, but I have absolute respect for her need to feel safe, and I would never encourage, or even ask her, or any other Provider to do anything that made them feel even remotely unsafe.  They simply cannot be too careful, since they have things to fear on both sides of the equation.  For all she knew I could have been either LE or someone for whom LE was looking, and I think we all need to respect the ladies' right to choose.

I'm sorry it didn't work out for the guy with this particular Provider.  I have no doubt that, if he is a good and respectful Hobbyist, there are literally dozens of other excellent Providers in our community who will be happy to meet with him if he can make them feel safe in doing so.  Let him find one of those, and chalk up his experience with this one as an opportunity to learn, just as I did with the Provider who declined to see me.

For both Providers and Hobbyists, it seems to me, the rule MUST be: Safety First.

Fred

have had some unbelievably rude responses to posts than in prior years that I've watched and posted. And yet, there are some people that have overwhelmed me with kindness and sincerity.

I know most of us probably mean well and we can all get out of hand, sometimes. I try to be polite, although I do have a rather sick sense of humor at times.  Usually, I will place a smiley face when saying something humorous or when I am not feeling partial to a negative post or reply. But some people will always read into something differently than someone else. It's easy to respond too quickly to -- or misinterpret -- a post or responses thereafter, but can we please start responding to someone with at least a minor amount of dignity and thoughtfulness?

There is a reason why some providers (and hobbyists) stop posting on these boards. It seems that men relate better to one another (whether it's the "good ol' boys club" or "Mars meeting Mars" theory) than to providers' comments, although I've seen some nasty comments from providers, too. I feel that posting on these boards is supposed to be therapeutic for some and, for others, it's also an opportunity for creating interesting topics. Yet, sometimes we also feel the need to vent (and hopefully not directed at a particular individual). Please, please people: Let's put ourselves in the other person's skin for a moment.

If I have ever said anything that anyone has taken too personally, then I apologize. I know that sometimes when I've taken the chance to stand up for the underdog, I've been bashed and cursed at for something far worse said by others (generally men). This has made me (and other ladies) refrain from posting at times (and maybe even a year). Now, I know I've been nice in this post and truthful, but I have no doubt that someone will pipe in and say something "off the wall" but I hope he/she will think clearly before responding. Wink!

Hugs,
Ciara

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I had a very similar experience.

One thing I've found to help with this are the periodic meet and greets.

Sadly, there doesn't seem to be enough of them. Especially with the independant ladies.

Persistence is also sometimes rewarded.
That, or I'm just a lucky SOB

Sedonna's post was just that some simple observations of the possible.. Twisted about and too much read into it. Seems like this whole set of threads  has touched  some nerves.
Lets hope all this wind passes

Or more replies, just more wind to let pass.