. . . to appear in provider ads (and for that matter, hobbyist reviews) (NOTE: just for fun, not meaning to offend)

1. "Sexy" (God, I would hope so!)

2. "Sensual" (ditto)

3. "Beautiful" (tie: "pretty") (ditto again!)

4. "Hot" (Hey, we ALL are this time of year - what makes YOU so special!)

5. "Classy" (All I want to know is there a "trashy" out there?)

6. "Exotic" (Read: Foreign)

7. "Interesting" (Unofficially, one of the most meaningless words in the modern English language)

8. "Upscale" (Well, OK then . . . Now that you said that, maybe I will pay that higher fee!)

9. "Fun" (Well that's just completely out of the question)

10. "Perfect" (Well, then . . . my search is over!)