If you look long and hard enough crude commodities can be easy enough to come by. But when you scrape the bottom of the barrel and pump the wrong reserve you put your rig at risk. Not every reservoir is built the same which makes it hard to tell if you're about to probe a pocket of pleasure or get tangled in a patch of poison. Or worse, you could prime the pump only to discover the well went dry long ago.

What's a man to do? Stop drilling altogether? Ha! I'm not sure that's even possible. But I do know the thrill of the drill is almost as important as the prize inside. Which is why I put together this little PSA. For you concerned citizens looking to do what they can, when they can. Don't you see? If you stop drilling the terrorists win. So answer the call to arms (and give yours a break) and get out there and drill like you've never drilled before.  It's your duty, not just as an American but as a man

If you're not sure where to start don't worry, I can help. All the refined gushing effervescence you could ever hope to find is closer than you think.


The time has come to meet Virginia. I'll show show you the way to that sweet spot you're looking for.