This is a grateful thank you note to all of you. Please forgive the verbosity and let me explain.
At age 35, as a mid career Marine officer I married the woman that I loved beyond words. We made love furiously and repeatedly for the first couple of years, had two children and settled into married life. At age 38 I retired from the Marines (I had joined very young) and got a great job that pays me around $125,000 a year.
As we settled in our new found prosperity, my wife and our relationship began to change. All I truly ever wanted from her was her approval. I tried desperately to be a great husband.
I soon fell into the trap of trying to obtain her approval through gifts. Even then, when I would bring her gifts, it would be a minute of joy followed by “Oh, didn’t they have it in blue?” or “Don’t worry, I’ll exchange it.” I also brought home flowers, worked the “honey do” list, helped to keep the house in perfect shape, read to my children every night – and even though I am basically an agnostic, at her insistence, we all went to church on Sundays – to my horror the church became a “social” competition ground with other women - it became: who had the best car, no dresses to be worn twice, who could be in the most committees – it was brutal and hypocritical – but I did it because I desperately wanted and needed the approval of the woman I loved.
I also tried hard at home. Although my work, especially at first, was demanding and I usually arrived home at 7 PM every night, I often cooked and nearly always did the dishes, plus helped with the housework, including often doing the bathrooms because she didn’t like the fumes from the cleaners. We also had a cleaning lady who came once a week. Did I forget to mention that my wife was a stay-at-home Mom?
Our intimacy also suffered tremendously. As a former Marine (there are no ex-Marines), I kept in tip top shape and weighed the same as in college. My wife, on the other hand, gained nearly 40 pounds in five years or so. But it didn’t matter to me, because I loved her and all I wanted was her love back, her affection and approval. She began denying me sex, and drinking a lot – always very expensive wine – a bottle a night, sometimes two. This was also a social issue. One time we went to a wine tasting party and she really liked a wine being served. A day later I bought her a case and she enjoyed it again. When she visited the wine shop and discovered that this Australian wine was $5 a bottle, she was scandalized that she was drinking “cheap” wine and went back to her $20 a bottle wine.
Soon we were only making love once a month, and then I realized that she was just putting up with it to get it out of the way. I suggested that we go see a counselor, because I feared that our marriage was dying. There is no greater hurt for a man than when his wife denies him intimacy as a couple.
Desperately I began to consider divorce, but didn’t because of our children. Sex got worse, now only once every few months, and always dozens of excuses in between. I began to doubt my own sexuality and question my virility as a man. Never did I stray away to other women, and renewed my efforts to try to win my wife back.
Then, a while back, my wife received a very large inheritance from a relative and within weeks she said that she wanted to move back to her home area in Oregon. As my job is in DC, I could not do that. To my shock, she simply packed up and left. A wealthy woman leaving behind a broken man.
For almost a year I sank into a life that only consisted of work, a desperate attempt to consume the hours. For the first time in my life I stopped exercising, began drinking and soon gaining weight. I was in a dark spiral to the bottom.
And then, a few months ago, while in Nevada on travel for my work, I was searching the Internet looking for some hotel reviews for my next leg of the trip. I came across TER and was intrigued and entered the site. At this point I had not had sex for over two years – a healthy 42 year old man without sex for two years!!!
I had never been with a provider before, but I decided to do it and called one to my hotel room. Before she arrived, I was more nervous than when I was under fire in Beirut or in Panama or Desert Storm. I showered and shaved before she arrived and dressed in a suit, waiting for her.
When she arrived I could not believe this angelic vision. A very beautiful young woman, who was friendly and sexy. We spoke and talked, and in my nervousness we probably could have spent the entire hour like that. But she took over and bean to make love to me. It was the most amazing, explosive lovemaking session that I can remember. In one sweet hour plus I became a man again, and began the road back to being a happier person.
Since then I have been with many of you, and with very rare exceptions I have found nearly all of you to be sweet, professional, caring, friendly, sensual women who take your profession and sexuality very seriously. It helped me in ways I couldn’t have imagined! I stopped gaining weight and began exercising again (to look better for all of you), stopped excessive drinking, and feel better about myself by 1000% because I once again feel like a man.
I don’t know what the demographics of your average clientele is, but I wanted to send all of you a most sincere thank you from the very bottom of my heart for helping this once-broken man become a man again.
I....ech.....um....well.....you.....your very.....rrrrr....
All I can say is that for once I am speechless and instead of my panties being wet, now my eyes are what's wet.
So now it is I who THANK YOU!!!!!
not just for your thanks but for sharing your most personal and painful experience. It so eloquently and perfectly shows the great importance of this profession and the very special things that it provides.
Those who don't approve of it think that way because they only focus on the sexual and financial aspects. To them it's all about sex for money. They have no idea that it involves so much more for so many men. So many that I know are in marriages like you described and have tried every way they could imagine to fix it with no success. They love their wives and children and want a stable, happy family. They learn to ignore their own needs and sacrifice their own happiness to try to preserve it. In the end, without intending to, they become distant, moody and some even violent because of the stress and frustration caused by it. Not a very nice way to live, is it?
Luckily there are some wonderful, loving, caring and generous ladies who share themselves so completely that the frustration, emptiness and lonliness is taken away. They are able to do in a usually short time what some psychologists, psychiatrists, counselors and other 'therapists' aren't able to do at all! There is very little out there (if anything) that is more powerful than intimacy and caring with another human being.
I wish that everyone out there who is against this profession could read your post and allow it to sink in. Any caring person who did would have to see its importance in our society.
Thank you again ![]()
different story ... same 'thanks' ... maybe not to ALL but to those i have so far encountered.
Boy I would have thought that was me writing that post. Just so you know bro, you aren't alone out there. There must be alot of us that are in the same boat as you are, I know I am, and your post made me feel alot better. That is exactly way I made the post i did about providers earlier. Now I am anticipatng my first experiance even more than ever. Thank you
Thank you Moustache, for taking a brave step forward and putting a face to the many, many men who have walked in those same set of footprints, but didn't want to reveal their struggle publicly.
Thank you for sharing that intimacy is needed much more than just robotic sex.
Thank you for trusting us (providers)enough to let us show you that compassion,understanding and passion are the cornerstones of our business.
Finally, thank you for being greatful to the wonderful women who so openly shared some intimate time with you, leading you to find out that the only approval you will ever need is your own.
Peace, Love and Passion,
Malissa xoxoxoxo