A dentist, young Doctor Malone,
Got a charming girl patient alone,
And in his depravity
He filled the wrong cavity
And my how his practice has grown!

There was a young man of kildare,
Who was having a girl in a chair,
At the sixtieth stroke
The bloody thing broke
And his rifle went off in the air.

There once was a man from Kent,
whose cock was so long it bent
to save him the trouble
he put it in double
and instead of cumming he went.

There once was a man from Nantucket,
whose cock was so long he could suck it
while licking his chin
he said with a grin
if my ear was a pussy i'd fuck it.

The President swore to the sky
He'd never asked someone to lie
But the chance was then missed
To request that he list
Positions he'd told them to try.

A wanton young lady from Wimley
Reproached for not acting quite primly
Said, "Heavens above!
I know sex isn't love,
But it's such an entrancing facsimile."

There was a young sailor from Brighton,
Who said "Shit! Your hole is a tight one!"
Said the girl, "Shut your face!
"You're in the wrong place!
"There's plenty of room in the right one!"

In the Garden of Eden sat Adam,
Massaging the bust of his madam,
He chuckled with mirth,
For he knew that on earth,
There were only two boobs and he had 'em.

Said a horny young girl from Milpitas,
"My favorite sport is coitus."
But a fullback from State
Made her period late,
And now she has athlete's fetus

My back aches, my pussy is sore;
I simply can't fuck any more;
I'm covered with sweat,
And you haven't come yet,
And my God, it's a quarter to four!

There was a young Rabbi from Peru,
Who was vainly attempting to screw,
His wife said "Oi vey",
If you keep up this way,
The Messiah will come before you do!