DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

        40-ish                                       -       49
        Adventurous                              -       Slept with everyone
        Athletic                                     -       No tits
        Average looking                         -       Ugly
        Beautiful                                    -       Pathological liar
        Contagious Smile                       -       Does a lot of pills
        Emotionally secure                    -       On medication
        Feminist                                    -       Fat
        Free spirit                                  -       Junkie
        Friendship first                           -       Former very *friendly* person
        Fun                                           -       Annoying
        New Age                                   -       Body hair in the wrong places
        Open-minded                             -       Desperate
        Outgoing                                   -       Loud and Embarrassing
        Passionate                                -       Sloppy drunk
        Professional                              -       Bitch
        Voluptuous                                -       Very Fat
        Large frame                               -       Hugely Fat
        Wants Soul mate                       -       Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

        1. Yes                                                         =       No
        2. No                                                          =       Yes
        3. Maybe                                                     =       No
        4. We need                                                 =       I want
        5. I am sorry                                                =       you'll be sorry
        6. We need to talk                                       =       you're in trouble
        7. Sure, go ahead                                        =       you better not
        8. Do what you want                                     =       you will pay for this later
        9. I am not upset                                          =       of course I am upset, you moron!
      10. You're very attentive tonight                       =       is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH


        1. I am hungry                                                   =       I am hungry
        2. I am sleepy                                                    =       I am sleepy
        3. I am tired                                                       =       I am tired
        4. Nice dress                                                     =       Nice cleavage!
        5. I love you                                                       =       let's have sex now
        6. I am bored                                                     =       Do you want to have sex?
        7. May I have this dance?                                   =       I'd like to have sex with you
        8. Can I call you sometime?                                =       I'd like to have sex with you
        9. Do you want to go to a movie?                         =       I'd like to have sex with you
        10. Can I take you out to dinner?                         =       I'd like to have sex with you
        11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit               =       I'm gay

And finally.....

A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle.



For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.



However when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside.

I am in the second list and i thihk you have some of your facts very wrong it really depends on the  women.....we are all different and I for one enjoy life pleasures and still feel wonderful about life and the older I get the more exciting the journey has  become each day is a gift that i embrace......Victoria

-- Modified on 1/30/2007 10:06:02 AM

The MEN'S ENGLISH is right on all accounts too except the shoes comment.  I have a flair for that type of thing and I definitely love women.