This just happened to me recently...What would you do?

To make a long story short.  I happened to be lucky enough to find myself a provider here in Phoenix that I enjoyed seeing on a regular basis.  She is one of our younger providers in the Valley (18 yrs) that is new to the business.  I enjoyed her company so much that I had her over once a week for the last 5 or 6 weeks.  We even discussed the possibility of doing a overnighter.  Anyways, I called her the other day (around 4 PM) to see if she could come over later that evening.   Here's how it breaks down.  When I first called her she answered and when I said my name the call ended.  For a second there I was thinking did she really just hang up on me?  Then I thought there's no way...I've seen her many times and never experienced anything like this from her in the past.  So I decided to call her right back...She then replies with sorry my phone's been acting up.  I said no problem, and continued to ask her if she could come by later.  She agreed and asked me to call her a 8 PM  to confirm.  Well it's now 8 PM and I call her to see if we are still on.  She agrees and now I'm anxiously waiting for her arrival.  In the past it only took her about 30 mins to get to my house, so I'm expecting her sometime between 8:30 and 8:45.  Well next thing I know its 10:30 and she's still hasn't arrived.  I wasn't sure what to think because I've seen her many many times before.  Then I start thinking about how I felt like she hung up on me earlier in the day.  Well I decided to wait 15 more minutes and then I decided to call her to see what's happening.  The phone rings twice and then she answers.  I say her name and she replies with who's this?  I tell her my name and she immediately starts fumbling her words...I ask her if we're still on?  She replies that she had to cancel and that she tried calling me but wasn't sure of what my number was.  I confirmed by saying you're canceling?  She replied yes.  I then said OK (with a sense of disbelief in my voice) and the conversation ended.

I then started to think about how many times she's called me in the past...Probably 15 times...I'm just finding it hard to believe that she didn't know how to contact me.  I'm really not sure what happened.

Anyways, here's my question.  (Keep in mind that I really enjoy seeing her) Should I ever call her again?  Should I write her off?  Shouldn't she call me and apologize?

What do you think?

give her the benfit of the doubt.  She may have had a personal issue and just could not talk freely.  Let her make the next move and contact you.  In the mantime look around for another favorite or two for a backup.

crystal?

I'd rather not mention her name...She's a sweet girl and there's no reason for me to slander her business.  The important things is that if she reads this...She'll know who this is directed to.

It's a shame because it's hard to find a regular provider that you're happy with.

gotta agree with this.  There are many reasons that could have caused this situation, most of which don't involve you.

desertcowboys....

Time you learned the truth about your hobby. This is a business, the girl in question makes her living by providing you a service. I'm sure she really likes you and enjoys your company...but you simply crossed the line into her personal space. Don't confuse sex with intimacy and intmacy with something beyond that. All the gals compartmentalize to some degree...they have to. You simply put her in a spot she wasnt comfortable with. She doesnt want to tell you no or hurt your feelings...but isnt comfortable either....you just pushed things a bit to far.

Truthfully, you owe her an apology. Respect her space and let her move things along. She's a "professional friend" not a personal aquaintance. I've had plenty of "dutch" lunches (even dinners) with gals....we can be friends as well as customer/client...and if anything beyond that happens then it is "two consenting adults" and forgotten the next day...

-- Modified on 6/8/2005 9:56:35 AM

I'd have to agree.  A guy I know on another board calls it The Prime Directive.  You should never violate it.  It's dangerous for both parties because someone almost always ends up getting hurt.

I think you guys are missing the point...There's no intimacy involved in this...I'm strickly a paying client and no more.  Considering my strange schedule and being new to the area.  I'm strickly looking for someone to come over and provide me with a paid service.  I've tried several other providers here in the valley and I found myself getting ripped off once and over charge many other times.  

I prefer to find a provider that I feel I can trust to some degree (which include being discreet, providing an honest service and reliable) nothing more.

Crossed what line? He attempted to schedule an appointment, got a "bad phone" response, tried again, and got a YES. I'm assuming he was going to uphold his end of the agreement, hence the business was appropriately bargained for. She bailed and he owes her an apology? She had ample opportunity to make her intentions known. Frankly he has respected her space to a greater degree than most by not outting her. She owes him an honest explaination and an apology.

You asked a question and you got an answer.

Obviously we have an experience gap here...live and learn at your own speed.

Experience gap? Maybe. Desertcowboy got stiffed. Happens. Experience gained, move on. You made that point. You lost me when you said he crossed the line.

how could you know what happened? do you know the lady in question?
We all know why its not a good idea to get emotionally involved with the women. I dont get that vibe from his post at all though.
I also don't see why your making him out to be the bad guy, after all he's the one that got stood up...
Frankly i would put her on the don't ever call again list and make sure everyone knew exactly who she is but thats just me.