I couldn't agree with you more.  The risks to the woman in this business by FAR out weigh the risks to the hobbyists.

However,You seem rather bitter.  I feel terrible that you were ever exposed to those awful situations.  You mentioned that this profession is one's livelihood.  Have you not a clue about "choice?"

In both the hobbyist and the escort there are options.  The hobbyist can choose to masturbate risk free from any diseases, have sex with his wife, find a girlfriend, play the worldly dating game.  A person who calls an escort, makes a choice.  A woman who decides to be an escort makes a choice too. We don't live in a time where you need seel your body for a loaf of bread.

I wish the profession was blissful.  It should be.  However, when you throw out words like "livelihood" it really makes me feel sorry for you.  

You mentioned 8 years in this profession...

I'm sorry sweetie, but after 8 years in the business you have far exceeded the livelihood part.  You can't tell me that after 8 years you don't have a car paid for, a house, maybe realestate investments, or money in a safe. That is your business but "livelihood" is usually your bread and butter.

We don't live in a 3rd World Country.  Even without a High School Education ,oppotunities in this country are plentiful.  We actually have people who come to this country illegally to make less than minimum wage by mowing our lawns and cleaning our houses.  They manage to live here and send money home to their wives in Mexico.  Now maybe they aren't shopping at Neiman Marcus or eating at Red Lobster but they are surviving.

Back to choice..You have it.  You had chosen a profession that put you into some less than desirable circumstances.  We all make choices and most have consequences, some choices less than others.

Hobbyists beware, you might not be dealing with a full deck of cards.

Providers beware, you might get rapped, robbed, kidnapped, drugged or murdered.  Vegas odds are higher in this profession than those ladies working at the Dillards make up counter.

I respect those in the profession but I see it clearly, the choice is about lifestyle and not necessarily survival.  Macaroni and cheese is cheap but I still want a filet.

Let's just be honest, nothing wrong with it.  I am an escort because I like sex, making lots of money, putting myself through college, eating out, expensive clothes, traveling.

I am a hobbyist because I like younger women, more sex, not as many games, variety, orgasms and the list goes on...

The Choice does exist..

I don't think the term "livelihood" as she uses it implies being trapped into the profession with a lack of choice, or some temporary caprice one engages in while looking for a "real" career. A profession, if you will.

I think that's your interpretation of the word, not hers. Given what follows in your post, calling it a "livelihood" obviously has certain negative connotations for you.

Like it's synonymous with some wretched hand to mouth existence, forced upon one lacking any  other viable options.

I submit that those associations cause you to see what frankly, isn't there, in her post.

She doesn't come off like she's lacking either choices or options. Or looking for sympathy for some horrid lot in life.

She doesn't sound bitter in that post, she's just laying out what she and other providers deal with daily in choosing this vocation. And that those things, absent in other business ventures, can and do cause providers to act in ways that are confusing and not understood by the hobbyist.

You see clearly-others may not. Some look at the hobby like a pure business, a la selling shoes or washing windows. She seems to be saying it's not.

It's the personal service business-the most personal service there is. I don't totally agree with her that it's entirely different, therefore exempt from basic business principles (they do still apply, or should, if a provider takes it seriously enough), but it's certainly different enough to warrant more understanding and consideration from the consumer than one might have for a landscaper who doesn't show up to trim their hedges.

She doesn't come off as a victim, looking for our pity or sympathy. At all.

Or that she was/is/will ever be without choices.

One could even argue there is a bit of bitterness and/or resentment in YOUR post. Your repeated use of "choice" is almost dismissive-as if providers should just bank their cash an not complain. They chose, after all.

Finally, she is spot on that disparaging someone who is unavailable to defend themselves is poor form-regardless of the "choices" they make.

Naturally, this is simply my impression of your impression. For what it's worth.

As I said, I respectfully disagree.

JJ

I must say you hit the nail on the head and couldn't agree with you more. While they are providers that are naive,exploited or do this out of necessity the majority of the ones I have met do it because it beats the hell out of a 9-5 and they may not have a PHD but have a marketable asset and rightfully feel that it is their right to exploit it. There are many that find clients that they enjoy, see regularly and get paid well from w/o having their safety nor their dignity compromized. Just as I have the right to turn away an undesirable at my door.You as a provider have a right to say no.Whoever posted this-shoot me a message and if your as attractive as you are articulate maybe you can have your "filet" and eat it too

I'd never get in the middle of this one. The debate could go on, but the words displayed their usual style and implications by all parties.

I do choose to post however. I do choose to wake up each day and decide if I want to be happy or not. I do choose to "take risks" in my career. I honestly believe life is about choices. And sometimes, we take the path of least resistance. Or we choose a difficult path because of personal reasons. Or we choose to just say "What the $%#&" and do whatever the heck we want to do because as individual human beings.... WE CAN! We only have one judge at the end of the day, and it is not anyone on this board last I checked.

I did not read anything negative in any of the posts, except for the defensive excuses as to why people cannot conduct business in any form of logical sense in this "business". We have been discussing this for years. It will NEVER change. But maybe that's the problem. We look at this like a business. I don't think to most people, it truly is. Where's the P&L each month. Spiritually, emotionally, physically, mentally...

I'd just like to add, one thought. Have an incredible life. No matter which path you choose. And if it is not happy and incredible, wake up tommorow and change it. We have three options. Live and be happy. Live and be miserable. Or check out (yea, there are variations on all of these). I don't subscribe that anyone should do the last. And if the risks are too great - I just hope the reward is as great. Because, that IS good business. But if the reward is not as great as the risk, well, what's it all about Alfie.


Hey Jack, lost your friggin' number again. I'm an idiot. But a nice one most of the time. Well, there are those moments when I want to... No wait. That would be too risky.

Peace out rabbit,
-JD

P.S. Jack - Sunday lunch. Not the old usual place. Someplace different. Late lunch. That place we did the champagne tasting to start.  If open Jack, pick a time. Oh yea, Sedona as Catwoman. Now that is HOT!!!!!! She puts the Grrrrr, in Swinger baby. Yea!





-- Modified on 1/18/2006 7:48:33 PM

-- Modified on 1/18/2006 8:09:33 PM

It's not these experiences that strike the bitter cord with me, it is the insensitive, ignorant,and sometimes assinine way in which some  post their complaints and opinions (and it certainly is thier right) about another human being. It's easy for a "gentleman" (using that term lightly in some cases) to post opinions (sometimes vicious ones) about a provider using his annonimity. You have your guise to hide behind, but she has nowhere to hide. Sometimes the postings are downright abusive witch hunts (how does not calling to cancel justify abuse- no matter how "subtle" you think it is?). I have learned to trust MY instincts about who I book through my past mistakes and steering away from certain "things". As a result, for the most part I live in my perfect little fantasy world seeing gentlemen (clients) that are IMPECABLE AS HUMAN BEINGS- like you said we all have choices.  I LOVE my work and the people who chose me and I chose them.