Subject: How to drive in Phx, Arizona
Scary but true!!
1. You must learn to pronounce the city name. It is: "FEE! - niks."
2. The morning rush hour is from 5:00a to 10:00a. The evening rush hour is from 3:00p to 7:00p. Friday's rush hour starts on Thursday morning.
3. The minimum acceptable speed on all freeways-I-10, I-17, U.S. 60, Loop 202 -- is 85 mph. You may only exceed that speed on Loop 101, where the speed is allowed to match the highway number. Anything less is
considered
wussy.
4. Forget the traffic rules you learned elsewhere. Phoenix has its own version of traffic rules. Cars/trucks with the loudest muffler go next
at
a
four-way stop. The truck with the biggest tires go after that. (Note: East Valley, SUV-driving, cell phone-talking moms ALWAYS have the right of way.)
5. If you actually stop at a yellow light, you will be rear ended, cussed out and possibly shot.
6. Never honk at anyone. Ever..... Seriously!
7. Construction is a permanent fixture in Phoenix. Detour barrels are moved
around during the middle of the night to make the next day's driving a
bit
more exciting.
8. Watch carefully for road hazards such as illegal aliens, bums,
drunks, skunks, dogs, barrels, cones, cows, horses, cats mattresses, shredded tires, squirrels, rabbits, crows, vultures, javelinas, roadrunners, and the coyotes feeding on any of these items.
9 . You must know that "Maricopa Freeway, Papago Freeway and the I-10"
are
all the same road.
10. To find anything in Phoenix, it is required to know where Central and Washington are. This is our Alpha and Omega-the Beginning and the End.
11. If someone actually has their turn signal on, wave them to the shoulder
immediately to let them know it has been "accidentally activated."
12. If you are in the left lane, and only driving 70 in a 55-65 mph zone, you are considered a road hazard and will be "flipped off"
accordingly.
13. Ground clearance of at least 12 inches is recommended for city driving.
14. You are allowed to wear potholders to protect your hands and fingers during the summer driving months
When your light turns green, be sure to wait an extra 10-15 seconds to allow the left-hand turners to make their turn on their red light or you will certainly be broad-sided.
Meg
Also lets not forget "The Squaw Peak", "Piestewa Peak" and "Route 51" are all the same Freeway too!
And "The Black Canyon" is I-17....LOL
And When some Mothers Park their Cars they need a reminder note to take their Babies with them...(Sad but True)
No Matter Where you Park, Dont forget to Lock up!!! (As if that even helps half the time...LOL)
when merging onto any freeway only do 35mph on the on ramp to merge into traffic doing 65+
During extreme weather, like 3 inches of rain, feel free to drive as erratic as possible to avoid any and all potential hazards. Of course in FEE-niks, 3 inches of rain means anytime you see less than 3 inches of less between individual raindrops on the pavement.
And when we do have REAL weather - feel free to test the capabilities of you vehicle in flooded washes. Emergency personnel will be more than happy to rescue you!
Lane changes preceded by a signaled intent to do so shall be perceived as a challenge to other drivers to demonstrate their vehicles acceleration abilities into the empty lane.
Turning on your left or right turn singal to change lanes in Phoenix means you want the car to your left or right to full the lane next to you so you can't get in that lane.
...West Side and Santa Ana in the OC in the morning, a 45-mile trip takes me 90 minutes BY FREEWAY. My limited mathematic skills tell me I'm making a hot 30 mph....
All of the above apply, with the following changes:
1. Remove references to "freeway" other than I-10 (because there are none)
2. Remove references to driving over 55 (because you won't - see #1)
3. Add "hippie students" to "road hazards"
4. Increase ground clearance from 12 inches to 18 inches.
5. Increase the time it takes to get around Phoenix by a factor of 2 (again see #1)
It happens every summer and more often than not... When the weather gets too hot in Arizona, you Phoenicians come west. 9/10 times when I am absolutely baffled by a maneuver another motorist has performed; I only have to look on the back of the loud, raised, tinted, Ford Excursion, to see the Arizona license plate...
Thanks for the info... It all makes sense now...
Never leave more than a car length between you and the car ahead of you ... it will get filled immediately ... maybe from both sides.
wow, i drive to phoenix probably 3 or 4 times a year from San diego and it seems to me...just crossing the CA-AZ border, the average speed drops 15mph. From my experience, you've got it a lot better on your freeways
