Re:oh my gosh

I guess I have been lucky I have not had but a handful of men that were that thoughtless My suggestion would be politely tell them that your very sorry but your not feeling there is a connection and that maybe it would be better to find someone more suited for them then show them the door......Men are like buses there is always another one coming, I have met you and believe me you can pick and choose which bus you want to ride.Take  care Roxy

but I am eh french skunk eh so I can't make no eh promises eh.. excuse mio

Way, way too often. And you offer them a shower and they say, "No, no I just took one right before I came over." Or they'll take one but assume the clock is running and get in there for 30 seconds and don't use soap and come out literally smelling like a wet dog.

The ball stench is sometimes the worst and that happens with far more men than not. I don't know what the big deal is about using plenty of soap and a wash cloth to SCRUB your balls, perineum and your anus but apparently it is a big deal. Also, I often mention trimming down or shaving the hair. This is not only because we women don't like to floss with pubic hair nor do we like it wrapped around our tonsils (and yes, this happens) but it's also because the hair enclosed in under pantaloons and trousers is a breading ground for sweat and bacteria and stench.  It's not that difficult to take a pair of clippers like you use on your head and trim the hair to barely there. It also makes your penis look much bigger because it isn't buried under 40 years' worth of hair. I have had clients who have had longer pubic hairs than I had hair on my head when my hair was chin level. I am not kidding.

Toenails. Have you any idea how disgusting it is to perform 69 when a guy has toenails longer than my fingernails? Or you can see fungal growth in the nails? Or his toenails are literally 3 cm thick from the fungus and green or yellow coloring? I'm guessing not because if a lady showed up in any way in which Roxy, Victoria and I described above, you guys would leave.

Honestly, we ladies spend a lot of money getting our nails done, having pedicures, shaving our poonanny, scrubbing, exfoliating, and moisturizing our skin, dressing well, wearing clean panties and clothes, washing our hair twice and conditioning it so it smells good and it's soft just for you guys.

To come over in the way so many of the men do where we have to deal with horrid breath (and you wonder why you aren't DFK'd), the awful smell and many times, sight of smegma (smells like a dead animal on the side of the road) in your uncircumcised penis, the horrible smell of balls and the foul odor from this morning's dump, armpits and toenails and scratchy faces where we cannot enjoy DATY or even suckling of the nipples because it literally hurts like hell, is shocking and we are women....we’re generally super clean by nature. It really is gross.

Unfortunately, this has been posted and posted many times by many women including Mya, Roxanne, Victoria, and I but it still happens. Often. In fact, I have two clients who do not wear deodorant and admit it. They are both men who are 55+ and who have never worn it according to them. I mean, come on. This is intimate business and there is an older Provider trick where we put Vick's Vapo Rub in our nostrils just like CSI and Homicide detectives do to cancel out the smells and goodness, we’re all adults and know how to wash...we shouldn’t have to put vapo rub in our nostrils!!

So, please men, I am sure I don't just speak for myself when I say that if we offer you a shower, you need one. Take your time, use the soap and the washcloth provided and scrub like you've never scrubbed before. The clock is not running. In fact, it DEFINITELY isn't running if you come out smelling clean. Just please, do unto providers as you would like done unto you. I suspect none of you know just how long 60 minutes can be with a person who smells worse than a wet dog who hasn’t been bathed in two years because at least the upper echelon providers would never dream of showing up smelling that way. Honestly, don’t take this personally, just fix the problem; For your maximum enjoyment and for ours! This advice truly is mutually beneficial!

Love and fresh-breath kisses,

Andi

PS I'm sorry this is long, I'm a long-copywriter so I have trouble keeping expressing myself with few words. Wasn't blessed with that writing ability.

thanks roxy...i almost lost my breakfast with your storys!!!..some i find hard to believe,but i'm sure thier true..still can't fathom someone spending that kind of money and not presenting themselves in a refined mannor..just blows my mind..to me its disrespectful...i carry what i call a "man bag"( a old shoe bag).in it is not only condoms,but toothbrush,toothpaste,mouthwash and most important liquid anti-bacterial soap..this is what i define as playing safe