I saw that a few Providers had the courage to tell us 10 things they wish we Hobbyists knew in the Post below.  (Good job ladies! I will ALWAYS shower and brush my teeth before I see any of you now.)

I thought it might be interesting if we discussed the 10 things we think make up a good Provider.  As I have limited experience, I'll go last.

I'm looking forward to reading what the more experienced Hobbyists have to say about this.
Fred

Seriously. I'd much rather know ahead of time than to take someone's money and they not have a good time and I become the restaurant I referred to below.

Guys, be honest, be brutal, we're tough bitches and we can take it. Honestly, I really think I can speak for all of us when I say we are really just regular girls flying by the seats of our pants in this realm we call hobby. Give us some ideas. I know I question myself plenty and I'd bet a lot of us do. One person I talk to a lot is Mya and she'll attest to the fact that when she meets someone who says he had a great time with me, I always answer with, "Really? Wow." because hell, I'm just a regular girl with an irregular job and I dunno really what you guys like. I know the basics, but beyond that, I'm guessing.

Sock it to us, fellas!

Meg

-- Modified on 1/13/2006 3:49:09 PM

I only have 1...

Teach us!

Every woman is a little different. Don't be shy about guiding us. Probably 3/4 of my fun is learning something new and seeing it WORK ;^)

Reviews. Plain and simple.

I'm a little scared to tell you what to do because you're a paying customer and I don't want to offend you. Women have been told forever about the sensitive male ego. Add business into the mix and it's a scary place telling a client who may write a review and who will likely talk to at least one other hobbyest about the encounter.

It's also the reason why many of us have trouble really orgasming. We're working, to some degree, to make certain YOU have a really good time and all your needs are met. I know sometimes when I'm a little nervous or I'm afraid I can't meet your expectations, I'm unable to cum because I'm caught up in thinking about you. It really is true........we're just regular girls with irregular jobs. We don't know all there is to know, we don't know everything about pleasing men. Or at least I don't. I have no idea what I'm doing half the time, and lots of times, I'm scared to ask because I'm afraid of putting you off. This is a lot of why I talk so damn much. Because if I feel I know you a little bit, the real you, and you get to know the real me, we're more like friends trysting and I feel you're a little more approachable. My biggest fear to be honest, is that you'll pay a lot of money and have a mediocre time. This is an intangible business which means you're paying for a great time and a memory. I'm always super scared that I won't be able to deliver the best of both.  And to be honest with you, there have been guys I've felt I wouldn't hit it off with and I've referred them out to ladies whose personalities I feel would mesh better. Some of you may think, "well, why? That's just ridiculous!" But for me, it comes down to integrity. And having it is something I cherish. I would much rather you not spend $350 to have a mediocre time with me, if I think you can spend $350 and have a stellar time with someone else.

Megan

and don't throw stones if you disagree, just disagree.

1. All women are different as all men are.  Each of us has our own erogenous zones.  Tell me your hot spots, what turns you on, what is it that makes you climax over and over.  You can do it with words or gently moving our body parts to yours.

2. Clean body parts.  That is everywhere from your head to your toes.

3.  Talk.  It need not be gutteral, just say what you feel when you feel it.  A man likes to hear from his lady friend when he is doing something that makes her feel good.

4.  Set your limits at the beginning.  If there are things you do not do, or don't like, tell us up front.

5.  On the other hand, refer to #1 & #3 above and just be yourself.

#6 through 10 will just have to wait as my list only goes to 5.

Thanks to all the ladies I have seen, everyone of you has been fantastic and all have been true to my list.

I'm not as fragile as I look ;^)

I'll never be too old or too experienced to NOT learn something new.

You do have a point though.

Maybe my kick is different than others. I LIKE to make sure my lady is just as comfortable as I am.
I'm also not there to 'dump and run'. I've met some pretty interesting girls, most of them extremely nice too. It's only natural to want to please them as well.

I guess it's all YMMV, both ways ;^)

obviously we guys can not be easily "grouped"; which, cum to think of it, is true of the ladies as well; so scratch that initial statement and , hmmm.. let me just provide "my" preferences

1.) as with how you'd expect us to be properly groomed (shower, brushed teeth, etc) the lady should also be.. least at the on-se, we might have to shower and brush again afterwards, but THAT's a different issue..and I digress;

2.) I prefer to do the unveiling (ok, removing the ladies attire)  Now I'm not normally one to rush into it, I prefer the subtle approach which often includes "copping a feel", but I prefer to unwrap my "presents"

3.) Similarly, I prefer having the lady unwrap me..and if we do it mutually with tongues entwined..well, than YIPEEE-EIII-OOOOH!!

4.) The provider of my choice..provides DATY...'nuff said

5.) A provide should let me know what she likes and how best to satisy her... look, to me the thrill of having the provider achieve an orgasm is just as important as me. Face it, most guys probably cum to quick..but that's nother issue.

6.) SMILE!  SMILE!! SMILE... "act" if you really need to, but I like to see a smile on the ladies face  (ok, with one xxxception, I KNOWS it's difficult to smile with your mouth full..hee-hee!) Be happy

7.)CUDDLING..perhaps in between "rounds", but I like to cuddle and caress a bit.

8.) whisper sweet nothings in my ear...even if it's a lie as to how "big" it is..knowwhatimean?

9.) Soft skin...sorta running out of items here, but soft skin sorta go along with my partiality to cuddling and caressing, just don't OVERDO the lotion.

10.)  OK, did I mention DATY?!?!?  So I admit, I'm pussyarian..is that a word?? ..and if this is a repeat, then, well, the provider should also "take care of the boys"...if you read me orally. *wink*

Hope this was sorta useful.

for me its not even 10 its only 7
1 be honest
2 bbj for the win
3 dont upsell
4 charge under 250 (yeah im a cheap bastard i know it and im really ok with it)
5 if its outcall be on time if its incall dont dbl book
6 minimize ymmv as much as possible
7 be nice

1. If you are posting pictures please make them current and real.
2. If you advertise GFE be prepared to kiss
3. One price no upcharging
4. If you advertise Greek, DO NOT say "no" you are too big.
5. Be on time
6. Be clean
7. don't smoke on your way to see me
8. be creative
9. If you don't think you can have a good time tell me and ask if it is okay to leave. I WON'T MIND HONESTLY
10. Tell me your rules while we are getting to know each other.

In a word, Passion.  It's all about Passion.  I think a lot f great things will fall into place if the lady I'm with is passionate.

I think you have three basic "types" of hobbiests (mainstream)...

1) Alphabet Soup

Here the acronyms say it all..."do you #$#%?" is the question of the day.

2) "GFE"

This is the elusive "holy grail" for many (myself included)....even I have never quite figured out what "GFE" really is since almost none of us ever had a "GFE" girlfriend

3) Carve another "notch on the bedpost"....

This is not ment negatively at all, I've come to realize that I simply love women...dont understand them at all....but I appreciate them and I've found many providers to be among the most intelligent articulate and fasinating women on the planet.

I think all of us "hobbiests" fit into all three of my catagories to a degree and we probably all have a couple of things in common...

1) BE REAL

I want to know your a living breathing person and your "all there" with me. Truthfully Phoenix is blessed in this regard.

2) No rules/Just reason

Don't misconstrue this, I respect both safty and boundries and anyone who's spent time with me knows I'm always a gentleman. Obviously not everyone (hobbiests) is so I understand the problem....

3) Leave the coreography (sp?) at home

If it looks and feels like a "dance routine" we're both probably better off somewhere else...

4) Sand thru the hour glass

I realize that it's a business and that time is money. But I always appreciate those that handle logistics well and allow things to flow naturally (within reason). When you leave after an "encounter" instead of an hour it stays with you....some gals have a knack for making you feel that your all that matters when your with them....

ten is a stretch..but                             one...be on time and if not communicate..nothing disturbes the "mood" more than this[IMHO].  two.if i call an agency [rare]and they ask "what kind of girl your looking for"they are usually taken back when i say"just a nice person"..be nice,                                    three..be upfront..if somthing is not on the menu,let us know prior to contact..for us,it can mess up the entire moment if halfway thru we hear a "i don't do that"arghhhhh!!but ofcourse being gentlemen,we accept and respect it..         four.if we do somthing special for you show your appreciation..a simple thank you works for me.                                       five..SHUT OFF THE !@&%# CELL PHONE.        six..touch us,rub your fingers softly on us,i look at this as a date.not just getting off[we know thats going to happen no matter what]  seven.i was eight before i was seven..have a sense of humor,,its supposed to be fun..that said eight..kiss us goodbye.                         as hacker and megan have previosly noted.were all different,just my 2 cents

alot of ground.  Its a connection that either makes the session GFE or just one HOT session. Kissing will tell alot about how passionate the provider is and a great indicator on how the session will be.

for the replies from such a well versed and traveled bunch.  All good points.Interesting and helpful in trying to articulate something so  easy to feel but yet so hard to describe.Like catching lightening in a bottle.
1. Cleanliness ,hygiene, on time, all part of  respect. You like it, we do  too.
2. Try to relax and be yourself, after all the gent choose YOU .
3. Make us feel welcome, we may be more  nervous than you...even I have some anxiety at the start!
4. Try and be genuine,  or at least  seem that way. Bad acting will be noticed,(good acting never is LOL)
5.GFE is part alphabet but even more the  feeling you are happy we are there
6. Invite direction from us  and provide direction to us, every one might as well have as much fun as possible
7. Dress for success, unless otherwise  requested by the gent  wear what looks good on you
8. Even old dogs may jump though a hoop more than once, offer  relief in some form when needed
9. Don't be afraid to smile and laugh, (but not at me naked please)
10. Let the session seem to flow to a natural end,  be subtle in your time skills

And a bonus tell  us  thank you at the end,  we  also like to feel appreciated.

-- Modified on 1/14/2006 5:51:52 AM

Don't providers know everything??

No really

I only have a number one

NOT EVERY MAN IS THE SAME

Wow. You truly took the cloak away and said how you feel. Gutsy. Reviews do get written. No one knows everything about everybody and what rocks their world. And (laughing) we do have sensitive egos and, well, wow, you hit that one on the head, so to speak. Your words made me smile. Refreshing!

-JD

1.  If you have kids, let us know so we can make our own choices.  You seem to have your preferences.
2.  Do not do the Porn moan and groan.  We know you whats going on.
3.  Do not upsell period.
4.  Try offering greek.  
5.  Don't have your hand out while I walk through the door.
6.  Don't think its worth more than it is.
7.  Don't lie about your age or weight.
Other than that,  I'm pleased.    

1)  When you are with me, be with me.  Eye contact, remembering my name, remembering what I said 5 or 10 minutes ago means alot.  I now live in the UK.  1 of my first experiences here, and my worst thus far, she just went though the motions, and then thanked me for calling, as she whould now be able to go to London that evening and enjoy a bottle of Dom Perignon with a girlfriend.  Ladies, I know that you have earned every dollar I've paid, and have every right to spend them however you choose, but please don't tell me that you intend to use my contribution on a better time than I had, that is way UNCOOL!

2) Be honest!  Am I pleasing the lady I am with is  always the top question on my mind.  PLEASE tell me what I can do to best please you.  I am willing to learn.

3-10 are pretty basic, be alive, be female, be available, etc.

I think you have every right to post your feelings and, after all, you are paying for it. However, every provider is different (like Mya said), and I wouldn't feel comfortable laying the rules down to you when we first meet. That is something (if necessary) that should be done beforehand. I want to enjoy the experience as much as you do, and I don't want to feel like a street walker -- bless their hard work,too.

Hugs,
Ciara

This is a fantasy world. People keep forgetting that on this board. We may divulge personal information to you once we meet you and feel comfortable with you, and maybe not. Leave the eroticism part to your imagination, and leave the nurturing to us. I don't have children (except animals), but there was one provider who mouthed off to a regular of mine (not knowing he was a regular) and told him I had three kids, which I don't.  No offense, but everyone needs to keep their lips zipped -- period. End of story.

Hugs,
Ciara

from the context he probably meant stretch marks.
I know they can be a turn off if extensive even to myself.

If you are into greek, then you should know that of all the personal acts these ladies may share with us, this one has the highest probability of causing not only discomfort or outright pain, but serious damage - especially for a novice lady! For a novice lady to "try it" with somebody she does not yet know well enough to really trust is asking alot. You are asking her to entrust her ass to you. Does she know you will stop if things become uncomfortable? How does SHE know how to distinguish between discomfort and a real problem? Will she be so worried about the act that she can't allow herself to contemplate enjoying it?

As for knowing if a lady has kids or not. If she wishes to share that information with me then I feel priviledged to have been confided in. As for your need to know.... well I can only guess you are worried about tightness. The myth of a lady undoubtedly becoming sloppy loose has been dispelled. Get with the program. Besides, as Donna Next Door once posted - if your furniture isn't large enough to fill the room - this isn't the land ladies problem!

Other than that, I tend to agree with the rest of your comments.....

1.  Smile.  Makes me feel better; more relaxed.
2.  Be on time.  We all know 'stuff' happens, just call, if you're going to be late.
3.  Good web site/page.  With recent pics.
4.  Little or no YMMV.  Try to treat us all the same.
5.  No smoking.  Smells.
6.  Be clean and perfumed.
7.  Multiples. Sometimes we can, or need to.
8.  No rushing, or time waisting.  If we pay for an hour, tha's not 45 min.
This is my take on things.  Great topic.

As a long time lurker I will weigh in. The following is my list and my reasoning. This kind of thing is so subjective and personal. For instance I am over 50 thus my fantasy list is most certainly differnt than the young bucks anyway here goes.

1) Sexy revealing clothes. Nothing more of a tutn on than seeing someone with sexy clothes on. I am not talking about nightgowns..I hate night gowns. Low cut jeans, halter tops, mini skirts etc. How often does one walk down the street and see someone in just regular sexy clothes and fantasize?

2)Set a non rushed tone.Nothing more akward than the first time meeting someone. Being old school I dont want to be to aggressive. Yes this is a business but all women deserve to be treated with respect and all boundaries respected. I dont want to do anything that might make the provider feel uncomfortable. This is why the second meeting is often better than the first.

3)TEASE. As an older guy (over 55) its all about the experience.Thats why I like clothes in order to take them off. Heck getting off is np lol. I would love to be teased. The more imaginative the better. Thats the attraction of strip clubs even though they make no economic sense.

4)Talk dirty...( I cant believe what a pervert I am But this is an extension of the tease.

5)For me its as much about provider as me. Actually its more as I can go at any time.So let me do a lot of the heavy lifting so to spek. Dont be so quick to get to me.

6)Two pops. As an older guy an accident can happen but give me a few minutes and the second time I have some stamina and can enjoy things more.

The last few are pretty mundane.

7) Answer e mails or phone calls.

8)Have a website with all the specifics.

Finally if anyone would like to indulge my fantasy?? LOL [email protected]

Well, its' been 24 hours, and I think it's been a pretty successful thread.  Thanks to everyone for educating me about what the rest of the world looks for.  I'll go ahead and post mine now, and take what I can from what I've learned from those of you who contributed.

1.  I really like what is commonly called "GFE".  Kissing is a part of passion, and it ALWAYS adds to the experience.  I'm very grateful to providers who offer this.  This one aspect, alone, is enough to outweigh almost all the others because it makes the experience more real, and much more exciting.

2.  Accurate pictures on your website.  Let's be honest, here, we're looking for girls who are better looking that we're going to find for ourselves.  It's really disappointing when the girl I see looks little or nothing like the girl I thought I called.

3.  No upselling.  I have no objection to paying a fair price, but I don't like to be asked for more when you arrive.  Tell me how much you want, and if I can afford it, I'll close the deal.  Upselling seems a little dishonest to me.  I'd like to hear some opinions of the Providers about this.

4.  Turn off your cell phone.  I am paying for your time, and they can wait.  I probably waited to be with you, so I expect others to be willing to do the same.  I have no doubt you're worth it.

5.  Be nice to me.  There's nothing worse, for me, than having it be mechanical and meaningless.  I'm not naive enough to believe any of you really like me, but I appreciate it when you behave that way.  It makes me feel better.

6.  Be clean and pretty.  Look as though you dressed for a first date with a man you really want to impress.  I've learned it matters to you, and I can promise you I'll always be freshly showered.

7.  Be reachable.  I know you may be busy when I call or email, but please get back to me promptly.  If I've chosen you, it probably means I like you quite a bit, and would rather be with you than the next girl I'm going to call.  On the other hand, I don't want to wait four days for a response when I need your services now.  It's horrible to make a date with someone I don't like as well as you, only to find out at the last minute you're available.  I'm too polite to blow off the other girl, but I will be disappointed thinking I could have had someone better.

8.  Come alone.  I understand your need for security, and I am more than happy for you to do whatever you feel is necessary to feel safe, but there really is nothing more intimidating than knowing there's a guy twice my size right outside the door.  If you don't feel safe with a guy, say so, and don't accept the appointment.  I'm sure there are plenty of ways you can have people keep tabs on you to ensure your security, but I want to see you, not the 8 foot tall goon who acts as your bodyguard.

9.  Let me know what I can expect before we start.  I have no interest in doing anything that will make you uncomfortable, so if I know ahead of time, that's great.  I'm sure you Providers must know of some way of handling this in a secure manner.

10.  Handle time well.  You're more experienced with this than I am.  Try to make sure we have time to enjoy as much as possible.  Just the idea that multiple pops are available is often enough to make the time enjoyable.  We paid for the hour, and we would like to have it.  On that same line, if you're going to be late, please let me know.  I understand, as most men do, that things happen, but that's why we have cell phones.  We're nervous enough as it is, without worrying about what may have happened when you're half an hour late.  Are you setting up a sting?  It scares the crap out of us.

Thanks to everyone who contributed, and thanks to the Providers who gave us some helpful responses.

Fred

Let me comment on some of your responses.  CiaraPhx - Us having kids make no difference to the Provider expierence.  However, the same can not be said of you.  The female body changes.  Get over it!  Some of us, don't like the change !
Those of you that don't mind the aftereffects of kids fine.  But there are some who do !!  Whats wrong with that ?  Its not like women don't have preference for men !!   moebius8 - wasn't talking about "stretch marks" on the outside.  Nobody of Consequence - If you think its a "myth" about tightness, then you're in a fairytale !

I did not disagree that after having children that a woman may be loose, I said it is not always necessarily so.

-- Modified on 1/15/2006 7:24:10 AM

HUMMMM  Nice Pantys and Bra and some Stockings

Price.  I just can't afford the hobby anymore.

We should have more of this type of discussion. Seemed open and honest and no back biting.

I liked what Megan had to say and was amazed how many guys felt the same way I do about being clean, reliable, happy and natural or good acting.

Now here where my views sway a little.  We pay for a service but being natural is not always what we like.  What we would call natural is just a term for acting natural. I'm more inclined to believe that we pay for a fantasy.  Some ladies on this board and others are a fantasy in most men's imagination so we'd like to keep it up for the duration of the session.  If a guy likes natural than most likely the lady will be able to sense it.  Well - we can't read minds but I like things to flow.  Haven't decided yet about return visits.  If the first one is a fantasy than carrying that on for several sessions may be difficult.

As for stating our likes and dislikes at the get aquainted time - well - NOT.  I don't like to be asked up front what I like or I don't like and would not be happy to hear that from the lady.

Even though, Megan, we are paying for the service and most ladies I've been with try to make sure I'm happy and satisfied, it is difficult for me to be specific and spell it out up front.  I found that I get satisfied differently with different ladies and I make it my mission to satisfy the lady as well.  I will spend as much time down there as it takes, ladies, unless that's not your cup of tea.

Nahhh.  Only one lady (and that is stretching the truth) ever said that she dislikes DATY or was it that she doesn't allow it.

After all the great comments and ideas written above, my own most important comment is promptness.  Someone being late makes me upset enough that even the best session would be remembered only as average.  

As Megan and others mentioned.  It is a business transaction first and foremost, although never mentioned or discussed. In business being professional is of utmost importance. Professional in a sense of being clean, neat, on time and know how to behave and make the other person comfortable.  Since only one of the parties is paying the tab than it should be expected of the service provider but that does not give the recipient of the service permission to be less than a gentleman.  Enough rambling.

Sorry but I got to read this after everyone seemed to have their say but here's my 5 cents worth.

Does she have a heartbeat?

Sheesh, A heartbeat?? Some people are just too hard to please. Don't set the bar so high.

I'll tell you the only thing that matters....

Everything.

And really, who has time to make THAT list?

It's nice to come back from vacation and see some interesting topics on the old board.

Just remember,

Nothing is insignificant.
No one is unimportant.
Lists are for obsessive compulsives.

OK, I made the last one up.

Back and ready for some more,

JJ

Yes, passion is so much a part of the experience. If you're faking passion, it will show, or at least I think it will.

Hugs,
Ciara

I understand, now, what you are saying. I misinterpreted the post to be implying personal questions about family, etc. Sorry. I can certainly understand about stretch marks. I don't have them, but I'm sure many do after having children, and that's certainly your choice to make. However, Mya also agreed with me about personal choice to tell someone. Perhaps ladies don't tell because they're also protecting themselves from new clients knowing too much about them upfront and that could be dangerous. Next time, you don't have to be soooo rude.

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 1/18/2006 11:34:16 AM

he was referring to the personal side of our lives. Some guys just don't like knowing providers have children. I also like to defend the underdog, even though I don't have children. Wink!    Sorry for the confusion.

Hugs,
Ciara