The dictionary defines the word criticize as such: 1 : to find fault with : point out the faults of
synonyms CRITICIZE, REPREHEND, CENSURE, REPROBATE, CONDEMN, DENOUNCE mean to find fault with openly. CRITICIZE implies finding fault especially with methods or policies or intentions REPREHEND implies both criticism and severe rebuking . CENSURE carries a strong suggestion of authority and of reprimanding . REPROBATE implies strong disapproval or firm refusal to sanction CONDEMN usually suggests an unqualified and final unfavorable judgment. DENOUNCE adds to CONDEMN the implication of a public declaration.
When you criticize someone it is an attak on their ego, fragile or not. Some people respond to attacks with an I don't care attitude or immediately go on the defensive. Perhaps if you didn't criticize but Evaluate instead, you would of gotten further with the provider you had problems with. You win more flies with honey than you do with vinegar.
The human condition is fragile, words can be more detrimental than bullets. A single harsh word can cut more deeply then a physical act of violence.
When dealing with providers sometimes gentlemen forget that we are women, with feelings, attitudes, opinions, hopes and fears. Most of us wear our hearts on our sleeve. We give so much of ourselves to our clients. We expose much more of our inner struggles, social acceptance issues, self esteem and emotion than any other type of worker in any other job. We know that we are looked at under a scrupulous eye, and judged more on looks then merit. We accept fully the pitfalls and the cloak and dagger style discression this business requires. We don't bitch and moan, cry foul when things don't always go our way, we are women, stronger than most of the average girls, survivors of lifes little faux paus that took us to the path we are on. We all have good days, bad days and ok days. On each of these days we take on the responsibilities to make men feel better about themselves, relax and unwind and cut loose. We don't ask for much in return, a simple fee for our time, respect and kindness.
Like any human being we don't want to be criticized, admonished, our faults pointed out for all to see. We know our faults and our strengths, we deal with them daily. We put on a lipstick smile and bathe in a happy attitude even when inside we may be upset, depressed or tired. We don't tell you our troubles, but invite you to unleash all yours on our welcoming ears. We know that each one of us has a special talent, unique and extrodinary in our own singular way. When we are cut down by those that don't see us for the rare jewels that we are, we sometimes become defensive, distant or standoffish.
Don't for a second think that your words weren't taken to thought, or mulled over and over. Most of the time we chalk it up to chemistry, we just didn't jive with that particular person. It happens all the time. But this is a business and for all the times we have been told to change this or that by customers looking for something other than what we have to offer, we would consistantly be jumping through hoops to please others. We want to please our clients, but not at the expense of our self respect. We live by the motto "to thine own self be true"
My advice is to move on, you gave your criticizms, they weren't well recieved, find someone who meets your criteria all the time and then stick with them. Chances are you won't find a perfect provider, because we are all human with imperfections.
~Malissa~
There will people who like us and some even love us but there will also be the ones who don't. That's their choice and their loss. We waste precious time when we worry about those people.
But, just a thought. Relax a little, huh? Everybody has a right to their opinion-even when they're wrong!