What quailfies mas a reference to the ladies? I have two on p411, both gave me an ok. one of them is not active on the site anymore. Should that be counted against me as being a non reference? Which screening site do you favor Date Check or P411?

I am comfortable using both P411 and Date Check.
If you have an okay from a companion that can be contacted and she's reputable (meaning she has more than 5 reviews on TER), there wouldn't be a problem with me. Your other reference who is no longer active shouldn't count against you...
Different ladies have different levels of comfort. I would recommend contacting the lady you are interested in and give her your P411 membership number. She may be comfortable with one okay or she may ask for additional information. At the very least, its a good start!
Good luck!

I do my own homework & am always newbie friendly!