Dear PHOMANCHU:
Don't go there. Just don't go there. For everyone’s sake, just don't think this way.
Believe me when I say that this “hobby” is all about money, survival and mental health. There is a lot of misery out there that is covered up with a ton of fluff. The client doesn’t see the heart ache, the anxiety and the pain. He just sees the fluff; and, usually he sees it for a very, very short time.
Don't fool yourself. Just don’t fool yourself. You are saying and thinking exactly what the people who control this business want you to think. You are playing right into the bad guy’s hands. Regardless of what is implied by the usual generic type posts on boards such as these, the ladies are very rarely-if ever-in control of their lives. They are subjected to unbelievable pressures brought about by the incredible amount of money lonely and horny-or just plain bored-rich guys are willing to pay for an hour of their time. Unfortunately, the time spent with a provider is a high margin commodity
Shadowy creatures control this commodity and they control this community. Shadowy creatures control the lives of the providers. These creatures lurk under beds and hide behind potted plants; they are landlords, web-site designers, web-site owners, and web-site administrators. They are politicians, policemen, attorneys, bankers, well-heeled business men and spoiled rotten rich kids who live off of trust funds. They are shifty pimps and panders. Many of them are abusive and they are cowards to boot. When you toy with the notion that the fluff and fantasy contain a single component of a “real” relationship, you are helping people who live off the misery of others. You are helping the sleaze balls get very, very rich; and, in the process, you are contributing to the unjust, psychologically brutal, exploitation of the ladies. So, dearest PHOMANCHU, please, please. Just don’t go there. For everyone’s sake, just don’t think that way…
PEACE, Sheika Fatima
-- Modified on 3/21/2006 6:45:34 PM
-- Modified on 3/22/2006 3:27:44 PM
I would like some input about how real our relationships are with the providers. I feel like some of them actually enjoy my company. I look forward to seeing them and they seem to be happy when I contact them. Do they make eveyone feel like this or am I deluding myself to think that it is maybe me and more than just the $$$. It is quite enjoyable to be with someone who gives you the impression that they look forward to seeing you. Some I have seen I have not connected with at all but I still wonder if the ones that I enjoy seeing are showing honest feelings.
the ones you have had a awesome experience with.. in a word..chemistry.is it real?.well,the chemistry is real,but you should leave it at just that..but to throw a question back at you.does it really matter if its real?..i don't think so.if it looks good,smells good,tastes good,feels good,makes you feel special..then its GOOD! enjoy the moment and don't get wrapped up in it.
Great Question! I can honestly say that over the last 6 months in the hobby, I have enjoyed something about everyone I have met. At times, the first couple of minutes things seemed somewhat awkward as the two of us searched for mutual interests. Other times, energies just mingled together and it was like meeting with a friend you hadn't seen in a while. Speaking for myself, but I am sure quite a few ladies feel this way...there isn't any amount of $$$ that would be sufficient to endure an hour+ of emotional/mental/physical torture. At this point in my life, these mini-relationships are the only type that make sense and do not complicate life. With your $$$ I am able to pursue those things that interest me, my schedule is more flexible to meet with you, and I am usually not stressed out or tired due to the day to day rat race. Since this is my only "work" I look forward to seeing you, to hear about your day and what has been happening in your life. Its "social hour" for me! As for all the juicy stuff that goes on between us...for that hour, I'm in love!
-- Modified on 3/21/2006 9:31:17 AM
Maybe you're the guy they've been looking for their whole lives - caring, honest, good looking, great in bed - and they are just afraid to cross the necessary boundaries of this business, afraid to hammer at the wall that separates the fantasy of the GFE and an honest to goodness real relationship. Your asking will let them know you are hammering at the same wall from the other side.
Of course, be prepared for any answer.
Providers are people too
....
All relationships are "real" and its normal to assume that people prefer to do business with people they like. I'm sure the feelings you sense are genuine. Just keep things in perspective and recognize that your a small part of a bigger picture for them 99%+ of the time.
Not real just entertainment
-- Modified on 3/21/2006 9:25:13 AM
if the person is clean, respectful and courteous. I know I find something nice about every gentleman I spend time with. If I didn't then I guess I would have to spare myself the torture again. Fortunately, that has never happened to me, although I must admit there are certain men that push my buttons more than others.
Hugs,
ciara
Depends on how the chemistry is just like when you meet anyone. It is about time and companionship. You can build something good within that short amount of time and expand upon it the next time you meet. To bring any other expectations to that time and companionship is to set yourself up for disappointment. I hate the word hobby and provider as it seems to have a diminshing meaning, but the reality is just that exactly. For me, there is a demand to combat my times of loneliness as I prefer not to have a girlfriend, and I have met some wonderful ladies that have supplied that need for companionship. I have enjoyed some more than others but I never walk away thinking that I can make that girl my girlfriend....although it would be fun trying->subliminal message to Mya =)
Two people can meet in this business/hobby and truly enjoy eachothers company. Is that REAL? Yes! I do like to think that I have established a few REAL relationships during my time in the hobby. However, remember what this environment is made up of and what the ultimate purpose is. The providers are in business. They do this to make money. They satisfy an economic need by doing this. They play a part, like any actor, to impress their audience (us). Some are extremely talented in this regard and can truly make you feel as though "you are the one. You are the favorite". Keep perspective! For the guys in the hobby, well, we satisfy an emotional need. Someone to talk to. Someone to make Woopy with. Etc. Although there are exceptions, remember that this is a little fantacy world we create and that the majority of the time, we are on stage. It can be hard sometimes. We meet someone that we click with and we think clicks with us. We ask ourselves, is this REAL or is it just part of the act? Sometimes, it starts to get a bit complicated. Keep perspective! It sure is REAL fun!!!!
I have read the entire back and forth on the orginal topic. On my side of the coin, i have "bonded" with every person that i see on a certain level. Some more that others but still a connection was made. I believe that everyone that i have seen is still with me. I carry a memory of each and every contact made with another human being in my mind,heart and soul with me each step of my journey. Every "hobbyist" that i have come in contact with i would like to believe i have made an impression upon in a similar way. I want to know people on an intimate level not just make "woopy".
I have a rat race job as well as doing this. I never set out for this to be work for me if it ever becomes work i won't do it anymore. I started being a provider because i felt that being able to be a courtesan for men was my calling. It was what i was made for. I enjoy the erotism, the intimacy that it entails.
But BOSAZ is correct, there is a transaction made. It makes it a business. Whether it makes it an easier transaction with the presence of an envelope or card remains to be seen. I know there were days of old when it was left on the dressers in plain view and that seems tacky in it's own way.
Being a provider i recieve something the time that we spend together but what happens during that time is priceless..... and THAT is something that money will never pay for. The memory, the moment in time that i connect with you is the ultimate gift. I believe that you pay for our time, NOT what we do with you. It isn't the woopy that you pay for... It's the time that you spend with us.
You would spend the same amount with your attorney and they aren't screwing you, are they?
On second thought, don't answer that.
The only reason you can't connect in the same way with a lawyer is because we now have an ethical rule against those kinds of connections with clients! Anyway, almost all of my clients respect and appreciate me the next day, just like yours. [grin]
Noting personal intended.... I have a soft spot for lawyers... something about arguing and law and brains turns me on...
I can honestly say that I have dated a few gentlemen that I met as Miss Brook. For me if the feelings are that hot/intense during a meeting then I let that person know that I would like to spend more time with them with NO MONEY involed. I look forward to meeting my next PLAY PARTNER. ***wink**
-- Modified on 3/21/2006 9:14:46 AM
the butcher last night after he left your house..At this rate darlin you will go broke. LOL Glad you had a good time.
In all honesty it sounds like you may be forgetting the cardinal rule of the hobby.
Rule#1 dont get emotionally involved
if you do forget rule#1 all that will happen is you will end up spending an astronomical amount of cash while she laughs at you for forgetting rule 1.
I had a provider who decided to retire from the business and move
back east to be near her family. I lived in LA and had seen here sevreral times. After being back east for a few eeks, she called me to see how I'm doing, so I think she genuinely likes me on more than a professional basis.
Most of the provider/client relationships that I've seen go bad are the result of one or the other crossing boundaries. The reality is that many of these ladies have lives about which their clients know nothing, by design. It's supposed to be that way. They share with us what they're comfortable sharing, and vice versa. When somebody tries to push beyond the boundaries with which the other person is comfortable, things go awry.
My opinion is that many providers develop genuine, warm friendships with their clients. That comes from mutual respect, consideration, and (obviously) enjoyment of their time together.
The providers often give those clients a little something extra--time, attention, emotion, enthusiasm, etc--because they want to (not to be manipulative). The clients often (although perhaps less often) give those providers something extra--respect, generosity, reliability, understanding, etc--because they want to, not just to get something in return.
An outsider can look at one of those friendships and cynically say that it isn't real. Such a judgment should be reserved only for the two people who really know the truth in their hearts. I wouldn't discourage you from accepting the friendship of a provider as genuine until and unless you have reason to believe otherwise (with the warning that you should never lie to yourself when your gut tells you something's not right). Sure it may be a little risky, but what relationship isn't?
No matter what your intentions are, if you connect on that intense level, there is NO stopping it. No matter how hard you try! Now, if you can be the epitome of sophistication, you may just be able to pull off the business and a relationship (with someone you've met in the business). But, even when you chose the relationship over the business...it draws you back in. Even when you have everything you could possibly want. What a strange addiction isn't it?
Ciao,
xoxox
Isabella
hahaha. I just re-read my post. Gee, you think I'm speaking for myself on this one? Hmmm....
-- Modified on 3/21/2006 3:28:55 PM
Dear PHOMANCHU:
Don't go there. Just don't go there. For everyone’s sake, just don't think this way.
Believe me when I say that this “hobby” is all about money, survival and mental health. There is a lot of misery out there that is covered up with a ton of fluff. The client doesn’t see the heart ache, the anxiety and the pain. He just sees the fluff; and, usually he sees it for a very, very short time.
Don't fool yourself. Just don’t fool yourself. You are saying and thinking exactly what the people who control this business want you to think. You are playing right into the bad guy’s hands. Regardless of what is implied by the usual generic type posts on boards such as these, the ladies are very rarely-if ever-in control of their lives. They are subjected to unbelievable pressures brought about by the incredible amount of money lonely and horny-or just plain bored-rich guys are willing to pay for an hour of their time. Unfortunately, the time spent with a provider is a high margin commodity
Shadowy creatures control this commodity and they control this community. Shadowy creatures control the lives of the providers. These creatures lurk under beds and hide behind potted plants; they are landlords, web-site designers, web-site owners, and web-site administrators. They are politicians, policemen, attorneys, bankers, well-heeled business men and spoiled rotten rich kids who live off of trust funds. They are shifty pimps and panders. Many of them are abusive and they are cowards to boot. When you toy with the notion that the fluff and fantasy contain a single component of a “real” relationship, you are helping people who live off the misery of others. You are helping the sleaze balls get very, very rich; and, in the process, you are contributing to the unjust, psychologically brutal, exploitation of the ladies. So, dearest PHOMANCHU, please, please. Just don’t go there. For everyone’s sake, just don’t think that way…
PEACE, Sheika Fatima
-- Modified on 3/21/2006 6:45:34 PM
-- Modified on 3/22/2006 3:27:44 PM
Thank you all for your responses and thank you expecially for your heartfelt responses. Some just make you feel gushy inside. I totally understand the business side of the relationships but was wondering if there really were some honest feelings as well. Your answers tell me that their really are. To the guys,don't worry, I'm not falling in love but just wanted to know if it was all phoney of it their really was some emotion in the equation. I felt that there was and am glad to hear that I am not totally imagining it.