Subject: Jewish Women




> 1. The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like

> Chinese food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact

> that Won Ton spelled backward is 'Not Now'.


> 2. There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins.

> In Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it

> graduates from medical school.


> 3. Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink?

> A: Alcohol interferes with their suffering.


> 4. Q: Have you seen the newest Jewish-American-Princess horror movie?

> A: It's called 'Debbie Does Dishes.'


> 5. Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers?

> A: They never let anyone finish a sentence.

> 6.. Q: What's a Jewish American Princess's favorite position?

> A: Facing Bloomingdale's.

> 7. When the doctor called Mrs. Liebenbaum to tell her that her cheque

> came back, she replied, 'So did my arthritis.'

> 8.. A man called his mother in Florida, 'Mom, how are you?' 'Not too

> good,' said the mother. 'I've been very weak.' The son said,'Why are you

> so weak?' She said, 'Because I haven't eaten in 38 days.' The son said,

> 'That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?' The mother

> answered,'Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you

> should call.'


> 9.. A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a

> part in the play. She asks, 'What part is it?' The boy says, 'I play the

> part of the Jewish husband.' The mother scowls and says, 'Go back and

> tell the teacher you want a speaking part.'


> 10. Q: Where does a Jewish husband hide money from his wife?

> A: Under the vacuum cleaner.


> 11. Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb?

> A: (Sigh) Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be a

> nuisance to anybody.


> 12. Short summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us, we  won, let's eat.


> 13. Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the

> street and said, 'Lady I haven't eaten in three days. ''Force yourself,'
she replied.

> 14. Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother?

> A: Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.


> 15. Jewish telegram: 'Begin worrying. Details to follow.'

> 16. Q: Why are Jewish Men circumcised?

> A: Because Jewish women don't like anything that isn't 20% off.


To all my Jewish friends Please don’t get upset with my post.
I thought it was funning and reminded me of an Italian mother.