*breaths into palm, smells breath, adjust pants, begins*

Okay, ladies, what you'll get from me is not exactly a BFE, but someone who is out-going, confident, but still, let's face it, ever-so-slightly dorky.  

I enjoy meeting new people, reading, urinating in public, and correcting people's grammar.  I'm a professional during the day, but at night, I'm not working, so... not professional?  I do own lots of ties, and none of them have a cartoon character on them, so I'm mature.

I love ladies.  For me, I love a good face.  You might say I have a "face fetish."  If you DID say that, I'd think that was very strange. What the hell is a "face fetish," weirdo?

I also love breasts.  I don't care about the size, just the number (Less than three).

I stay in Phoenix a couple of nights a week on average (I have a weird job).  I don't drink, but I don't mind if you do.  

Anyway, I'm a generous, incredibly handsome man, probably.  Feel free to contact me.  I don't require references.

(Note: I don't actually urinate in public.  Also, I love the Ad Boards on here, and being ever-so-slightly sleep deprived (I say "ever-so slightly" a lot, don't I?), I thought it'd be fun to make my own ad. So... yeah.)