Sexually of course its nice to meet in the middle during sex at least for me but sometimes selfish has a different meaning. Last year, I had an experience where I went on a pleasure trip from Phoenix to Las Vegas (sunday afternoon to tuesday morning) taking one of our most famous and beloved ladies. Since this was our second time traveling to Vegas, I thought it could only get better. Wow, was i wrong, first nite before dinner, she not only was taking new appointments for  two hours after our return to Phoenix, but she actually told me and took a phone call at the dinner table. I understand that if you put new photos on your website or ads that sometimes it creates a buzz but cmon. Nothing makes you feel better than spending a weekend donation, paying roundtrip airfare, Bellagio suite, concert tickets and show tickets and someone sitting across from you saying they have appintments for immediately after you return and continue the whole trip booking appointments. That was selfish!

I prefer to say lazy, and yes sometimes I've had a date where I've let her do all the work. I'm reminded of the lady who once told me "It's all about you baby" I took her at her word and let her work me over.

There are providers who do not engage in mutual. You can read some reviews where that is clear,

I'm the type of person that does not enjoy the "selfish" approach. I mean I actually cannot have enjoyment in that scenario. This can be the case in either men or women. What really floats their both is seeing the other person experience pleasure.

There is such a variety as far as what a person enjoys. Would it be considered "selfish" if a man visited a domina to be humiliated? Yet that is what floats his boat.

I think your question is good, because in civie relationships it is generally considered bad form to not give your partner the type of 'attention' that pleases them. Focusing on what pleasing yourself often has a negative connotation.

My experience is that those ideas aren't carried over in that way to a provider/client encounter.


HH

All clients look for and desire different things in a session with the ladies. However, no matter if one is craving a sensual connection or lusting for a passionate rock and roll, one thing remains the same: All clients are looking for an awesome experience with a beautiful lady. So that means during a session the only focus should be on pleasing the the client (correct if I am wrong).

So just wondering what both the ladies and the men think about this. What is your thoughts on clients being "selfish" during a date/session? Selfish in the sense that only concentrating on what the client finds pleasurable and the lady accommodating to that regard. Of course all with respecting the boundaries of the lady.

Honestly I do not think there is anything wrong with that and I don't think the client is being "selfish"
It is his fantasy and I am here to accomodate him.

But don't get me wrong - I truely enjoy doing activites that I enjoy and being pleased as well.


xoxoxo,
Your Rockstar Barbie Doll
Krista Starr

Haha, Krista. We are definitely night owls. Still roaming the boards at this hour.

I don't think it is wrong either. But sometimes I do feel somewhat guilty that the lady is working so hard and I'm the only being pleased.

I've been thinking about this same thing recently. It came to me that some enjoy being pleased and some enjoy giving pleasure.  I think it might be why some people just don't click. It's difficult to please a woman who enjoys giving pleasure more than receiving it. Once you determine who you are with enjoy it either way. This could be a cop out also when you can't get your lady going. LOL

Babe dont feel bad seriously please dont. I am a nuturer by nature. I love pleasing and taking care of others. When I please a man and I can tell he is enjoying himself it pleases me more than anything.

my greatest pleasure is mutual pleasure.. if that works, it's a great time.. best bang for the buck in my mind

on the other hand, i've just sat back and accepted.. mostly in a ligal brothel situation where it is more the norm and walked away feeling sated if not ecstatic..

my personal preferences not withstanding, Krista has it right, as the "paying customer" it should be whatever floats your boat within boundaries..  HH is also right.. you have to read the situation and the people and if it's right, and it pleases you to do so, please the hell out of her and if it isn't get comfortable and accept her attentions...

for me are a two way street  I think giving pleasure  is just as important as recieving half the fun comes from both parties enjoying their time together as a team  and yes there are those that just need a quick fix and do not want to get too involved in the details  I call them the hit and run guys......mothing wrong with a quick fix  that is what we are here for  we aim  to please ......your  the boss and we  want you to get whatever you need at  that time in your life

.... I care FAR MORE about being the one doing the pleasing anyways.... if he cares about doing the same well that's nice  and all since I AM a woman but not particularly required for us to have a great time together.

When Heather  posted this response it got  me to thinking  and she is is  spot on  in her  thinking  9 out of 10 times   the reason men visit us  is because  the are tired of always having to be the ones  to instigate the  romance  and get tired of  being turned down  by their SO  so they want a woman to take charge  for a change.....  a man has feelings and if you go to the table time after time and get turned down it  can be demoralizing  so they seek out someone that  will take control  sometimes they use words  like they want someone to dominate  them when really they just mean  they want the woman to take the lead .....I use to hear the word domination and it worried me until  I dug deeper and found it was really just a matter of wanting me to lead the way .....just being assertive is really what they are looking for in most cases ....do you hobbiest agree?

Due to my condition now I find that my enjoyment comes from pleasing my lady friends, I try to make our time together all about her. It give me great pleasure to see her enjoying herself, if this is selfish then I am guilty.

Agreed. At least for me personally, it is a huge plus that the lady will initiate automatically with lots of energy. Though I am not into the whole domination gig, but for me it is usually a very good experience when the lady takes control and knows what she is doing while still creating the experience and mood that suits the situation.

The selfish talked about here is more in terms of activities of bcd relating to giving/receiving pleasure, not necessary about the dating experience outside the matter. Yet, it is a turn off when the lady is booking appointments during the date.

wow  very bad manners I am just guessing but was she young? If not then no excuse just bad form  on her part sounds like  she lost a wonderful guy/client  her loss in the big picture

I think it applies to all aspects of the date including out of the bedroom  IMHO

It could be. I am just speaking from the OP's point of view that the original intended point of view is from BCD. But, no worries. Discuss away. Keeps our boards alive when we have discussions that spins into other things.

For men, it might not be that they get turned down by their SO, though that happens enough. But if the woman just lies there, it gives the impression that she is not into it. All lovers should return affection with affection. A good provider doesn't have to make the first move, but she definitely needs to make the second.

I think it’s more enjoyably for both of us if she’s having a good time with me.

It’s not all about me but I appreciate her spending time with me and when I choose a date I want it to be as real as possible.