I don't like having to write a post such as this on a public board but I have been left with no other options.
It has been brought to my attention that some of the ladies here who group and clique together are spreading gossip about me. Since it has gone further than their private backchannel, I am forced to speak up for myself publically.
It seems that my response about the review being removed has caused some animosity towards me. I honestly don't understand why because 1-Another provider using an alias brought it up-I merely questioned the same thing and 2-I was making a general statement. I simply stated that it would be a perfect world if all the providers who receive a less than perfect review could have it removed and I wondered about fairness and honesty. I was not the only one.
I chose NOT to hide under an alias because it would not have been as credible. I would have wondered the same regardless of who the lady was. Yet it seems that because I had the "guts" and honesty to question a valid point, that I am not the lady that's the latest gossip victim.
I need to explain something here. I don't do cliques. They generate gossip, rumours and hurt feelings. In the past I have been invited to get togethers to which I chose not to attend. Not because of anyone personally but because of all the back-stabbing I have witnessed here in the past year and a half. I also don't do the nightclub and party scene-nothing against anyone but because of my healthy yogic lifestyle.
I have always been kind to all I meet and never badmouth anyone unless a client mistreated me or a lady was nasty when I tried to get a reference. When a lady contacts me to meet one-on-one, I am more than happy to do so-and whatever is told to me-stays with me. I am a non-conformist; a free and independent thinker. I don't have an insecurity problem and don't kiss up to others in order to feel accepted. Yet, in this town, it seems that if you don't conform and agree with the group w/the biggest mouths-you stand a good chance of being trashed.
Yes, I have my opinions and if someone has an issue with something I post-there are other ways of handling it rather than the bad-mouthing which has transpired. Feelings are always mentioned in peoples posts but that obviously only applies to the feelings of your own circle of friends. Karma is mentioned as well but the meaning is not known once gossip and trashing enter the picture. I have spoken to ladies who have been very hurt, both emotionally and business due to gossip because they simply speak their mind.
Boards in other cities are nowhere as bad as here. I love Phoenix and our "little community" and I always say we are blessed to have so many wonderful ladies here. We all have opinions and although we may not always agree, it's nice to be able to see things from different angles. If some ladies are going to waste energy badmouthing others, they really need to think about enriching their own lives. My life is full and happy and I would never dream of wasting my precious energy on such negativity. Nothing anyone can say or do can hurt my business-but it will make you look bad if you continue to gossip.
Gentlemen here must realize that there are many great ladies here who mind their own business, keep YOUR business quiet, and don't waste their time gossiping and spreading rumours. I'm not sorry I spoke my truth. I will always look for answers if things seem unfair to anyone. That is my truth and I have to be true to myself first. Thank you for listening to my rant.
Peace and Love to all, Roxanne
As far as refrences i have never been asked by you for one at all and have always wondered why..Have you been told my refrencing is no good and to stay away or never had anyone use me as a refrence?As for a click buddy belief I dont believe that but i have grown close to some ladies but I dont jump on the band wagon and bad mouth others.As far as gossping you have heard nothing from anyone i have said.I like to tour towns every now and then and stay out of the bs.The back channeling thing is bs where you say people are talking about you.Ladies have better things to do.wonder where you heard that from?
-- Modified on 4/26/2005 8:14:05 AM
Include members like Mya, Jordan Kay, Madison Ave, Angelina, Asst. Zoe, Stacee, Taylor Morgan and seven or eight other providers.
My ATF tells me all they do is complain about people and talk about how to hurt them by spreading rumors just as Roxanne has described. Maybe they think they own the community or think that their better than everyone else. It seems they all talk nice on the boards, but stab people in the back when they get on their "hit list".
Its no wonder there is so many aliases on this board. Now you know why and where they come from.
Give me a break. Here we go again. More unnecessary drama. First off, tell us who you really are. Second, nothing was said to hurt anyone. As I said in a post that isn't up yet because I am moderated, a question was asked and that question was answered. No rumors were spread and no false information was given.
Obviously, your ATF is in the group so why don't you point her out as well? If you have things to say, say the truth, not what you want everyone to think. Why is it OK for men to have backchannels and their own private groups but if the women here wish to talk amongst themselves and express their true feelings, everyone gets their panties in a wad?? Grow up, please, we are all adults here. Start acting like one.
Taylor, you are the one who should give us a break. Who is kidding who here?
With reference to your comment below:
Why is it OK for men to have back-channels and their own private groups but if the women here wish to talk amongst themselves and express their true feelings, everyone gets their panties in a wad??
There is a HUGE difference here and I am surprised that you don't know that. This is not a male/female issue so don't hold it up as such. First off, you have all put yourselves out there by offering a service in a public manner. You all post here, advertise here, solicit public comment through reviews, etc. Sorry Taylor (and other members of your group) but that comes with being a public figure which you all are and have elected to be. If you don't want to be in the spotlight or public domain discussion, go UTR as a lot of ladies do. Sure guys discuss the ladies and agencies. Isn't that what TER and other similar boards are all about? Aren't you all competitors in some sense offering similar services? Don't people do comparative shopping on a regular basis? Sure, those things get discussed by the guys. Your customers on the other hand, expect confidentiality and discretion from the ladies they see or the agencies they use. Having information about them shared through back-channels or private groups such as yours is appalling.
Well said ANightmare it is appalling and i dont plan on seeing any of the members of this nasty little society any time soon.
no alias im not going to see any of them so im not concerned about the opinions they may have regarding myself.
A group of providers and ageny owners trashing other ladies in the community. That is bad business and will only come back to hurt them as it should.
No trashed anyone. This is becoming ridiculous and childish. Also, why the alias? In any case, here is a quote from the group, my quote as I would never use anyone elses:
Bottom line for me is this...if we can't trust each other in this group to be able to vent, express our feelings and try to come up with good ideas to increase our business and pleasure about being in this business, we should just forget the whole thing. That is why this was created, not to spread gossip about anyone (which hasn't been done, in my opinion) or harm anyone.
So there you have it. And be a big boy...use your real name next time.
I had not heard of that group from anyone but that explains a lot for me. I was getting tired of hearing things about me and tried to do something about it a while back. I realize now that no matter how much you complain all you do is help to perpetuate the rumors. Guys are telling me that they do not like hearing the lies and backstabbing. Just look at it this way, if someone feels the need to make up stories about you and try to convince people they are true she must be very jealous and insecure. The other thing is that if ladies will sit around and try to find ways to hurt others, especially ones they don't know, they must not have enough confidence in themselves to get and keep their business the right way. This is not a competition. Variety is the spice of life. I was very hurt for a while by the same girl everyone is afraid to name. One of the same ones that jumps in and say she would never say anything about anyone. It did kill my business for about 10 minutes too. But now I book up solid. I get busy enough now that I have not had a chance to see some of my specail friends in a while. I would say that even though people will say bad things and not invite you into their game you are better off. People don't want to pay to see you and hear about negative things. I am sorry someone is wronging you but I promise by just being positive and kind to others it will come back to you ten fold
your name, as well almost ALL the other providers in the community, was NEVER mentioned. I'm not sure how this web was spun off so badly, but it needs to stop. This group was not made to hurt or destroy anyone, but simply as a place for providers to go to vent their frustrations with the business, post alerts about bad situations, etc. Nothing was ever conspired to harm anyone. Again, tell me why guys can have groups but girls can't? Jeez.
Taylor,
I have corresponded with you a couple of times and thought you were a very nice person. I have heard great things about your service and you have given me references in the past and I thank you for that.That But I can see why some would feel this way. How could you think anything other than that when only certain people are invited to participate in the group? If you are going to claim your group to be a place to share info, safety and help for each other rather than gossip I would think you would have let more than a select few know about it. And as far as drama I don't play that game but I will voice my opinion if I feel that something isn't right.
This town is so clickish with both providers, and hobbyists I can't beleive it. I guess I'll never be part of the "Good ol boy, and girl" network. Screw um !
I just won't patronize either the providers, or agencies I suspect are part of the group. Hit them in the pocketbook, and they will change their ways. or go out of business. There is so much talent out there, who needs them?
You're making a bunch of shit up and you know it.
Look ma! No alias!
- M to the J
well i certainly have learned quite a bit from this thread in particular...
1 my instinctive avoidance of the "top" girls on this board was a damn good idea
2 i now kow the source of all those wierd rumors floating around about various women at various times
3 it aint pretty when the claws come out but im glad they did.
4 my never call list just got bigger by about two agencies and 15 providers or so. Since i only have empirical evidence on who to boycott other than the obvious i wont mention who.
5 two faced is never pretty i dont care who is oing it.
Include members like Mya, Jordan Kay, Madison Ave, Angelina, Asst. Zoe, Stacee, Taylor Morgan and seven or eight other providers.
My ATF tells me all they do is complain about people and talk about how to hurt them by spreading rumors just as Roxanne has described. Maybe they think they own the community or think that their better than everyone else. It seems they all talk nice on the boards, but stab people in the back when they get on their "hit list".
Its no wonder there is so many aliases on this board. Now you know why and where they come from.
Cause that's why it is a private yahoo group...
So the members can keep it to themselves.. Hopefully not many people are offering "that"
I personally grew up! Sab
-- Modified on 4/29/2005 2:17:40 AM
Where is April the grammar and spelling police? Oh, that's right she was on the other board and retired.
It IS a sad state of affairs when one cannot openly and honestly express their thoughts and opinions on this board without being personally attacked, labeled or catagorized. Think some people need to chill out and lose the paranoia. Not everyone here who expresses an opinion has "sided" with a particular camp or set of individuals just because their opinion on a particular subject may be different than your own. Let's get back to what this is supposed to be all about, that being, having FUN and watching out for each other's backs.
While being a relatively new hobbyist I am certainly concerned about some of the more vocal providers on this board. I don't mind a aggressive female personality, but I certainly am concerned about some of the ladies combative attitudes. By the same token, I'm sure the providers don't care for some of the hobbyists attitudes.
I have deliberately passed on some of the more beautiful, and popular ladies because of their combative nature. Hey I'm old fashion, and I want to treat a lady like a lady. If I wanted a session with a guy's personality in a girls body, I would set up a meeting. I just feel more comfortable setting up meetings with less explosive, beautiful, intelligent, and feminine personalities like the Chrissy Stones, Kara, Claudia's etc of the world. If they are explosive, they keep a lid on it.
I can hear the explosive providers phone lines going already blackballing me. LOL
-- Modified on 4/26/2005 3:31:56 PM
You have said what I have delicately implied in several posts recently. I will say it with you.
Ladies, "keep the FANTASY alive". I mean, your posts, the throwing of stones, is not at all attractive. Even the "well I have a right to defend or speak my mind or whatever.." This business is about guys looking for gentle women and ladies being kind to gentlemen. Well, unless you are looking for S&M. I mean seriously. Do you think any of the guys wants to read the drama or see you in an aggressive light? Nah, we want a bunch of pussy cats.
Grrr baby. That's about all the growling I want to hear.
Some might know these words of wisdom and then some might not understand:
As far as possible w/o surrender be on good terms with all people.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,even the dull and the ignorant have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive people,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser people than yourself.
Enjoy our achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career,
it is real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism,
just Be yourself.
Try to Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
Whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be, whatever your aspirations are, with noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With its shame, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Strive to be happy. That's all that matters..
Finally, With that said I try (very hard) to live by that! In school A teacher gave me these writings from poet in 1952.. Only if people lived by this.. The world would be a better place : )
-- Modified on 4/27/2005 2:41:49 AM
A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her. ~David Brinkley
If I had suscumed to the pressures, talk and defeatist attitudes pointed at me when I began in this business over 10 years ago, I would not be here today. I am friendly with most all of the local ladies and I hear many things but NEVER WILL I play into the backdoor mentality of gossip. I don't see anyone as competion for business, I see other women I can learn and grow from the experience of knowing them. Each person I encounter has a blessing to offer my life today, wether it is to show me something positive or negative. I will not allow negative childlike attitudes to affect me or how I feel about my self or others.
*For some unknown reason women have defeated themselves by sinking to the lowest level of personal depth with gossip. In an indusry that already is wraught with an intent to seperate us from the everyday women, we divide ourselves even further across the chasam by choosing to perpetrate untruths,half truths and even lies through idle chatter. It doesn't do anything to raise us up as a collective group of strong powerful women. It only tears us down to a petty self indulgent envious level. If we are not there for each other, then who do we have to look upon as a sister. You don't have to love or even like every other woman in the industry. However we should stand strong for one another, as sisters in a select sect. If you hear something, burry it away, dismiss it, if it bothers you enough then confront the source and let it be known that you have concern, but don't pass it around as a party favor or a means to make yourself look superior. When you stand side by side, shoulder to shoulder with your sisters, no one is on higher ground. We are all equal as women.
That is my story and I am sticking to it.
Peace,Passion and Love,
Malissa xoxox
What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson
-- Modified on 4/26/2005 4:41:51 PM
People spread gossip about me all the time. People spread gossip about other agencies all the time. People spread gossip about providers all the time. People spread gossip about clients all the time. Unfortunately, it isn't all happy, happy, joy, joy like it use to be when I first started. There wasn't any gossip spread about you within that group. A question was asked and the question was answered. I wish all the questions about me were answered that simply. If you would like to hear some good gossip about me (I doubt you've heard it ALL), give me a call - I can fill your head full of it.
I think most of us know what clique you are talking about and when I first read your post on the previous thread....I though...OH BOY...something will come of it....and obviously it did. No matter how good anyone is at their profession....someone will always come along that is better...due to performance, youth, butt kissing, or something...it happens in this business also. Some people just can't accept reality and have to lash out at others and do what ever it takes to appear to be still on top. I also applaud your integrity to post under your real handle and not an alias.
Roxanne,
please do not ever apologize for speaking the truth and getting the "truth" out. I have been wronged in this community before, and I have just one person to thank for that in spreading a few rumors, lies, and incorrect statements about me.
I have also been called things that others would never think to call me. Why? Well, like MexicanPost said, I was put on the "hit list", or in my case "$h!t list" because I was sociable, and attractive.
But i must digress and take the stance, my attitude must always be positive, even in the face of negativity, and you remind me of that and I appluad you in your post.
If we should be anything, be honest in the statements that we make, and senseless and un-truthful attacks will be brought to light.
Again, I applaud you, and support you fully.
AdonisAZ
You can think what you want about yourself -- attractiveness comes from within as far as I'm concerned. BTW, don't you own a new agency here? Why hasn't that come out yet? And why do you act like you've used my agency when I have an email from you stating that you will never use an agency because you don't believe in them? So, why DID you start an agency? Ah, yes, because it's fun. I forgot that somewhere in all this BS. And yes, before the rumor gets started, I am PMSing.
I know Roxanne, she is a top quality lady, who has been mindful of others feelings. Not to mention she gives great A+ service, consistent with all the best ladies here in town. Roxy IS one of the best. All the drama is just that. Sad that some may want to harm a true and lovely sprirt... that just happens to reside in a great passionate body. Sorry R that last part just slipped out.
Roxanne,
your message was well put. You are correct in your statements about cliques. I have not only heard about them I have witnessed them. I also know who some of these individuals are plus some of their tactics on how to discredit others. I am behing you 100%. Nice to see you had the nerve to post your feelings on this
the game will play on. these bottom dwellers are predictable, They most likly will meet for lunch today and plan more nonsense. pay no attention to these new age providers. Like in the wizard of Oz, someone will throw water on them and they will melt.
again. Roxanne we all know who the negative people / providers are on this board. You show integrity in using your real handle even though you knew that you would be turned against you somehow by someone in the clique. You are right on when asking the question about the review that was removed and "so quickly". Some providers will do anything to keep their rating...even when they are past their prime.
I finally took the time to read each and every single response that was written to this post. First of all I want to say I commend Roxanne, even though I do not really know her, for standing up for what she felt was not right and for conducting herself in such a ladylike manner.
Second of all I want to say I commend Taylor Lynn, who I do not know, as well. She may not have invited all the providers on the board to her group, which is something I do disagree with. She may be a little more brash and outspoken than some of the others. She did in my opinion have a good idea behind her group and she put it in motion. Which is something to say for both ambition and leadership. I have a feeling and maybe it is just a hope that her intentions were good and true. In either case everyone is free to express their own truths wether you or I agree with them is really quite unimportant.
I don't feel a place to post warnings about bad or "different" clients is such a terrible idea. I don't think a place to check references is a terrrible idea either. I believe that yes the gentlemen's privacy should be respected, but I also believe that he loses that right in part when he does certain things or acts a certain way to a provider. I think if he has a reputation for trying to remove the condom when a provider is is in DS I have a right to know. I think if he tries to short a provider I have a right to know. I think if he pushes the limits and the boundaries of a provider I have a right to know. I think I have a right to know certain things just like you gentlemen know about us. If I know these things it does not mean his is black balled or he is never going to be able to see another provider. It means that each provider will be able to make a concious decision as to wether she is prepared to deal with that type of client or not. It means that yes, she may set ground rules up front to let him know she doesn't play the games he wants to play or no she will not see him at all she doesn't want to risk it or waste time for either of them. There is a need for this sort of thing. It will benfit you men in the long run as well. For what one lady won't agree to may be right up another one's alley. Not all the services on the board are discussed and we all know it. There are somethings that you as men may never want to revel amongst each other yet you will expect us as providers to delivier. If you want examples I would be quite willing to give a few, but I don't feel I need to you gents have proven yourselves very imaginitive if nothing less. I may get a lot of flack and that is okay. As I said before this is just my personal thoughts. My personal feelings. You may have your thoughts and your opinions in response. Just please respect mine enough to allow yourselves a fleeting glimpse at my point of view.
-- Modified on 4/29/2005 1:18:39 AM