A hypothetical review

Goofus
Looks:  Doesn't matter
Performance:  2, Should've stayed home

Goofus contacted me for a last minute appointment.  I wasn't able to accomodate him, so he scheduled for later in the evening.  He showed up 15 minutes late, straight from the golf course and smelling like it.  He immediately started pawing at me and trying to kiss me.  He obviously hadn't brushed his teeth since WAY before the golfing (and the lunch complete with onions and/or fish).  I politely asked him to wash up before we got intimate.  He got in the shower, but apparently didn't bother to unwrap one of the bars of soap I have, which only made him wet and smelly when he got back to the bedroom.  I should've asked him to take his gift and leave, but (how many times have you read THIS in a review) he was already there, and I decided to go through with the appointment.
He continued to be rough, slobbered all over me, grabbed at my hair, and was argumentitive about the use of a cover. I did not want to kiss him considering his mouth smelled like yesterday's trash and I couldn't imagine what it tasted like.
When it was finally over, he wanted to lounge about and have round two, and I accomodated him even though we were already over time (time starts when you're appointment is scheduled, not when you decide to show up; I have a schedule to keep and if you can't even let me know that you're running late it is hard for me to rearrange it).  He finally left, and I was so glad to be able to drop my cheery act. I was happy to be able to erase him from my memory, but he reappeared when I read the review he wrote on me that was extremely misleading at best and filled with outright lies at worst.  Would I see him again?  Never.  Would I recommend him to friends?  Absolutely not.  I like my job too much to let people like that feel like just that...a job.

A hypothetical review part 2
Gallant
Looks: Doesn't matter
Performance: 9

Gallant scheduled his appointment ahead of time, but was running late.  He called me 30 minutes ahead of time to let me know.  When he showed up ten minutes late, he apologized.  He explained that he had just come from the golf course and lunch, and would I mind if he freshened up. He took a shower, using both soap and shampoo, and brushed his teeth with one of the disposable toothbrushes I keep on hand.  He came back to the living room and we sat and chatted for a few minutes, while we got to know each other.  Before long, we were touching and kissing and things progressed to the bedroom.  We undressed, and he gently began to DATY, becoming more aggressive as he felt me respond.  As the passion heated up, things got wilder.  We went through various positions, including 69, and when I signaled that I didn't like to be touched in a certain area, he immediately stopped but didn't let it break the mood.  When we were finished, we lay naked and snuggled and talked.  Before long, we were both aroused again, and round two was in order.  By the time we were finished, he seemed alarmed as he noticed we had run over our time.  I assured him it wasn't a problem, and he was welcome to take another shower if he wanted.  He took a brief shower, got dressed, kissed me goodbye and was on his way.  The only reason he didn't get a 10 in performance is because it was our first time together; it will no doubt get better as we get to know each other more.  Would I see him again?  In a heartbeat.  Would I recommend him to friends?  Without hesitation.  I love my job; and it is because of men like him.


Guys, I have been in this business a LONG time.  The phrase YMMV was invented for a reason.  You'd be amazed how much your behavior (and HYGIENE) affects your provider's mood and therefore your session.  Keep it in mind; it will pay off.

Zoe,
That was great!! Excellent role reversal to show how and why "some" of the ladies get a negative or two in their reviews.
Just because you are paying for a service doesn't mean you don't have to respect and appreciate the provider.
Good manners, Great Hygine, and open spirit can make your session sooo much better for both of you. And of course the same goes for the ladies!
Last week I had a client attack me, in my room durring a session. I ended it before he got out of hand, but he did hurt me (in a delicate area), and he was pissed off because he "Thought", he had the right to treat me any way he wanted, since he paid my fee. Anyway, guys need to know that they are spending time with a woman, a human being with feelings. We aren't instant sex machines, there is no magical switch to turn us on. Think of us like crock pots (lol) or slow cookers, you have to take things slow, wait and let us heat up to the boiling point. And the wait is ooooh sooo good!
Just my 2 cents.
Kisses,
Malissa xoxoxo

Hehe....

Nothing like a walk on the other side to put things in perspective a bit.

You are right on!  There are so many times when girls tell me what a great time they had with a client and how wonderful he was.  However, there are other times when she had to "act" her way through the entire session because of the clients disrespectful actions.  Please, gentlemen, treat the ladies wuth respect and they will return the favor ten-fold!

I couldn't have said it better and it really needed to be said. Thank you for saying it so well ;o)

Another reason why I think most of you ladies are amazing.  I don't know how you could even put up with a jerk like that. Unfortunetly I have run into a provider or two with questionable hygenie.  Needless to say I did not return, or even complete the session.  Nobody, man or woman should have to put up with inconsiderate, unclean partners.  Some people wouldn't know common courtsey if it bit them in the face.  If they would live by the most basic law "do unto other, as you would have them do unto you", life would be much better.  Here's to hoping that someday, all of us (men and women) can be clean, curteous and enjoy some awesome mutual adult pleasure.  Keep it clean, safe and sexy.