Being new to the hobby and an armchair sociologist/philosopher, I thought I would ask how many of you providers put up a "wall" between your emotional self and your physical self?  (You may substitute the word "wall" with "facade" or "professionalism".)  Worded another way, if you have a significant other, you must take some different emotional approach with your hobbyists.  If so, does the "wall" always work?

The reason I ask is that I had a strange experience with a relatively experienced provider several months ago where I swear that we had a very close emotional connection - and in fact, at the door as she was leaving, I had to remind her to collect the $.  I never posted a review, and since them we talk by email but have never met again, which strangely enough, seems like the "right" thing to do under the circumstances.  Am I crazy?

With that one exception, I do post reviews as a professional courtesy to hobbyists and good providers.  But in this case, I felt like I would be kissing-and-telling, as ridiculous as that might sound.

Yeah, I think you are crazy. I think a connection like that takes the experience to another level.  I believe every provider has a wall. Some are more transparent than others, nonetheless, it is a wall. Have you talked to her about it? If the experience and the person you were with were great, I'd get all the elephants out of the room and see her again. After that, things should be good and stay good for a long time.

I do not have a signifigant other and think it would be hard to have a real relationship while in this business. That said, sometimes we do take a little extra care of someone who those of us in the business might feel is in need of something above and beyone just sex. If you are thinking about asking her out that will most likely be the end. I know there are times that I have to put distance between myself and people who think that I have a special connection with them. On the other hand there are people who I seem to connect with in a great and wonderful way. This is not love or dating connections. Just someone I like a lot and find it fun to chat via e-mail and phone. This does not mean I do not want to see them on a professional basis anymore just that I consider them a friend. Just a warning to let you know that it is possible that you could loose a new friend and someone who might be great in bed!!
Good luck
Donna

Nah....You're not crazy...Sounds like you fell in "Like" with her. Nothing wrong with that and I'm sure it's happened to many of us. Some of the providers we see are some of the nicest, classiest, most caring people any of us will ever meet (or marry !!!)You're talking about a person on the level of a Debbie, Nikki, some TLC people, Donna and many more too numerous to mention. Why wouldn't you feel something wonderful inside ? You just had a warm wonderful encounter with an attractive caring person. I'd bet that if all guys treated our favorites with respect and made sure they were clean and well groomed before seeing their lady, more of "us" would have the opportunity to fall in "Like".

Thanks for the input, DND.

We have both kept it to an email friendship, I suspect out of a subconscious fear of exactly what you referred to - i.e., ruining "it".  ("It" being "what is and what will never be", as the song goes.)  I am perfectly happy with that.

I understand what you are saying about guys that get the "wrong idea" and those that have become your friends, but what I was really wondering is if things ever get TOO close for comfort from YOUR point of view, making it just a little bit difficult for you to do your job and still keep up the "wall".

LM,
First of all, I would like to say, you expressed your point with emmense amounts of elegance, and the way you dispurse compliments, is just musical.  You are a real romantic, and any girl should be flattered.  

I fully understand your "wall" analogy.  To some degree it is right on the money, we pretend, we act, and on certain very needed and wanted occasions we connect and truely enjoy, the magic that can and does happen between two people when a "spark" is made.  The ability to feel, and be emotional, is what makes humans so unique, but even further than that, the ability to identify those feelings, is what really puts us in a class of our own.  The final level is the one of "choice", you have enjoyed yourself, you have realized you enjoyed yourself, and you have identified that enjoyment. Now the only thing to do is to decide how your going to continue to find and achieve that very same level of enjoyment.        

BTW:  I personnally try to be as "real" as possible.  Sometimes I am happy sometimes, I am not.  Either way as any good self-employed person, would do I leave my personnal life at home, and put a smile on, and go do my job.  First and foremost is customer service, and I take great pride, in giving the highest quality of service in that area.  I believe in treating others as I would want to be treated.  The primordial "wall" that you speak of, only comes into play, if I begin to question my own feelings, for a person, in a work enviroment, and honestly, that is really uncomfortable for me, because I do have a life outside of work.....     When I am in the office, I do what is asked of me, when I am outside of the office, I have another set of standards, that I judge myself on.....

I don't know if that helps or not, but it is my diatribe.....lol

Always Arizona's Angel
D SNOW
480-236-9966

It is so good to hear that you can share your concern. I can totally understand where you are coming from.
I must tell you that strange enough, I have been in the same situation you are explaining. I mean, I have many regulars and I become "attached" because I get to know them as a person and after getting to know someone more you develope a relationship. You care about that person. Because you are a caring person and take the time to listen.
I have had to be reminded about the money because sometimes you are having such a good time that you forget. Me anyways. lol
And I do think whom ever it was that had mentioned that you have fallen "in like" is absolutely correct and there is not a thing wrong with having feelings baby. It's okay. You are good people and that is what us girls like.      
Don't worry about it but also, I do not think that trying to take a step further will make things any better. If you like the way things feel at this moment in time, why consider changing it in any way?

Sky

. . . although I think that it's kinda interesting that none of the providers I actually know have replied.

Don't for get that this is primarily an advertising medium, not a place for open discussion of the business.

But ironically, a relationship with a good provider will be the most honest relationship you'll ever have.

First, I think "everything happens for a reason"...and I wouldn't consider it a wall or even a facade. I personally, have always been a person to seperate sex and love. I don't think there is any harm in that, and had you of asked me several months ago, if I thought it was egen possible for any type of personal relationship to develop between client and provider, I would have sd "no way, couldn't work". I now know that I have found a best friend, who cares no matter what, unconditionally, and he was "my reason"

I'm glad to hear that (with all the cynicism out there)

Well i fell for Lisa in a big way. when she left i was heartbroken. then I saw Sky's website and started dreamin again. Get an incall place Sky ok!!!

Whether walls, windows or walkways, we (hobbiests & providers alike) create what we want for whatever our purpose may be - many different reasons, I think.  Being selfish, we figure we can tear down or change what we've made, if we develop a new or different purpose. It is easy to progress from "lust" to "like" to "love" when engaging in an activity based upon intimate fantasy interludes for hire - maybe even inevitable for many of us.  Confusing that new "love" with true intimacy and commitment can be a real risk for many of us - particularly those of us who have never experienced the latter.  Just keep in mind that reality is always just around the corner and there is AT LEAST one another person worthy of your consideration on the other side or your facade who may not share your expectations of what should be just around that corner!

Not knowing but,is it possible she may only wish to share in your opulence?

Well said!!!

I doubt it (as she is aware of the limits of my opulence), but it is a good point.

I agree with your assessment.  However, I have come to know and appreciate a very subtle truth - the extremes in human relationships are not love and hate, but care v. could-not-care-less.  Dare I say that the so-caled "extremes" - love and hate, friends and enemies, and even friends and lovers for that matter - are not opposites at all when it comes down to it.  (How many of you hated a person the first time you met them adn then ended up becoming torrid lovers?)  Put another way, it's not whether I "like" or "love" someone - the operative question is DOES THAT PERSON UTTERLY MOVE ME, RIGHT OFF-THE-BAT?  I don't know about the rest of you, but I like to think that I am into the hobby for recreational purposes (at least that is how I approach it), which coincides perfectly with the "professionalism" of all the truly wonderful providers out there, but then comes an experience like this.  On a personal level, I appreciated the moment, took it for what it was, and moved on.  I just wanted to know if you providers have had the same experience from the other side of the coin.

Thanks DonnaND, but "well said" isn't nearly as important as "well done!" in this hobby (and maybe in life as well!!) (LOL)

A few years back I was going to school in a little midwest college town and saw this one escort.  We had a wonderful time,  I was relatively new to the hobby, and the session was beyond anything I had ever experienced or have since then.  We really clicked, and I started seeing her 4 or 5 times a month which went on for maybe 3 months.  There were sessions where we spent the entire time cuddled up on the couch just talking.  Eventually we started seeing each other outside of the service, which in hindsight probably was not the best thing to do, and then we fell in love.  But alas things didn't work out, I had to move Although we tried to keep things together a long distance realtionship is hard enough.  I went back to visit her several times, and we even got engaged at one point, but eventually things fell apart.  

-- Modified on 4/22/2003 3:42:17 AM

That just means she wasn't the one you are supposed to be with