Phoenix

LMAO!!!! fantastic! (EOM)
Jazz Jewel See my TER Reviews 520 reads
posted

Posted By: Kelsi
10.  Package fees for shooting 1 outfit are 20% ​of your fiscal income... 2 outfit  change is 25%... 3 outfit change is 30%...  
   
 9.   All the Photoshop in the world isn't going to make you look the age your ads claim.  
   
 8.   All packages require nude shots & are the sole property of this studio.  
   
 7.   On second thought, put your clothes back on.  
   
 6.   We also have a package for low budgets, which consists of someone else's photos, to avoid the studio & outfit fees.  
   
 5.   A pre-shoot consultation is included with your package & can be scheduled at my apt any night this week.  
   
 4.   OK, for this one, I think it's only appropriate you show us some titty.    
   
 3.   Providing an illustration of what your sessions consist of will give me a better understanding of how to shoot you.  
   
 2.   I'm building my portfolio & want to add a sexy escort picture.  Do you know of anybody?    
   
 And the No 1 Thing a Photographer Should Never Say to an Escort...  
 1.   Option One:  A deposit of your total package charges is required & due at the time of booking*.  Option Two (Recommended):  We also offer a discount when swapping services as payment, due before the shoot*.    
 *All cancellations result in a loss of your full deposit.

10.  Package fees for shooting 1 outfit are 20% ​of your fiscal income... 2 outfit  change is 25%... 3 outfit change is 30%...

9.   All the Photoshop in the world isn't going to make you look the age your ads claim.

8.   All packages require nude shots & are the sole property of this studio.

7.   On second thought, put your clothes back on.

6.   We also have a package for low budgets, which consists of someone else's photos, to avoid the studio & outfit fees.

5.   A pre-shoot consultation is included with your package & can be scheduled at my apt any night this week.

4.   OK, for this one, I think it's only appropriate you show us some titty.  

3.   Providing an illustration of what your sessions consist of will give me a better understanding of how to shoot you.  

2.   I'm building my portfolio & want to add a sexy escort picture.  Do you know of anybody?    

And the No 1 Thing a Photographer Should Never Say to an Escort...
1.   The only form of payment we accept is trade of services*.  
*All cancellations result in a loss of your full deposit.

Posted By: Kelsi
10.  Package fees for shooting 1 outfit are 20% ​of your fiscal income... 2 outfit  change is 25%... 3 outfit change is 30%...  
   
 9.   All the Photoshop in the world isn't going to make you look the age your ads claim.  
   
 8.   All packages require nude shots & are the sole property of this studio.  
   
 7.   On second thought, put your clothes back on.  
   
 6.   We also have a package for low budgets, which consists of someone else's photos, to avoid the studio & outfit fees.  
   
 5.   A pre-shoot consultation is included with your package & can be scheduled at my apt any night this week.  
   
 4.   OK, for this one, I think it's only appropriate you show us some titty.    
   
 3.   Providing an illustration of what your sessions consist of will give me a better understanding of how to shoot you.  
   
 2.   I'm building my portfolio & want to add a sexy escort picture.  Do you know of anybody?    
   
 And the No 1 Thing a Photographer Should Never Say to an Escort...  
 1.   Option One:  A deposit of your total package charges is required & due at the time of booking*.  Option Two (Recommended):  We also offer a discount when swapping services as payment, due before the shoot*.    
 *All cancellations result in a loss of your full deposit.

Well, I think the ladies understand what I mean by photographers that are frequently contacting us requesting trade for services, sadly (among other professionals, i.e. pilots, massage therapists, etc.).  But I find great humor in this fact.  

I was hoping to generate other variations to this top ten list, such as the list I had going last year of "the top ten things you never say to a hooker"... those responses were hilarious!  In fact, I think Half Hour should start his own list pertaining to the industry, b/c that is one hilarious guy!

Iamapillarofsalt428 reads

First off this is total tongue in Cheek. These are things learned over years. Too all you good girls out there HELL YAAA. Love u all.

Top ten things that confuse me about providers.

10) Why doesn't she look like the pictures?

9) Why does her kitty smell

8) Why do I have to wait X amount of time for u to answer my second call? Don't you want my money?

7) Why am I writing this list?

6) Why do the most exquisite women have to be so far out of my fucking price range? No, really I understand, but damn throw a dog a bone once in awhile. Call it donating to charity:)

5) Am I just confused?

4) Upsell.

3) Why am I so attracted to escorts?

2) Why doesn't every option in the services offered section say yes or may I have more please lol

1) WHY DOESN'T EVERYBODY USE TER

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