I am active on many boards & have looked at other area forums...

The climate between the ladies in other areas is VASTLY different than here in Phoenix.  I truly do not understand this.  Is it the competitiveness?  If so, let's keep it real, there is MORE than enough business to go around.  I am a firm believer in standing together & sharing information to keep us safe, but NOBODY is really doing that in Phoenix.  We shun newbies & touring ladies who seek safety information.  Leaving them to their own devices & for the wolves to sniff out.  When I first came to TER only one lady reached out to me & answered the questions I had (we are now thick as thieves), many of the ladies tried to intimidate/wished ill will upon me.  Thankfully I am not easily deterred or scared.  You get back what you put out into the world...

So!

Let me be the first to say.  If ANY lady whether new or established, touring or twilighting, needs help with ANYTHING (especially safety information).  I am here for you.  I hope others will follow.

We are all in this together!!

Warm regards,
Caramel

That's a pretty funny description, maybe unintentional humor?

Glad someone is paying attention

We are pretty tight.  In fact, I've done doubles with MANY ladies and sent many clients to see them on their own.  A bunch of providers also refer their clients to me, as well.  It is wonderful, and the gentlemen really love that.  I would love to have a few friends out here.  It really is a great way to make the gents feel even more excited about seeing you all!

ooxx,
TL

Sadly, this will never be the case here in Phoenix.  I will be touring this Spring or Summer, maybe I need to visit Minneapolis

Let me know if I can be of assistance to you!

XoXo
Caramel

many of the ladies here fear being outed?

K

What does a fear of outing have to do with keeping each other safe?  Nobody says we all have to be friends, just help each other out to keep bad things from happening

Well, I was only teasing you

I imagine it might have something to do with the legal atmosphere here in town. I'm sure there are cliques who share info among themselves, but not in general because they dont know, or want to know, who to trust, since they already have a circle they trust.  

It could be competition...you know, no sharing your trade secrets kind of thing.  

Or, I know in the case of Dominatrix/massage/escort, many of the "rules to live by" are the same, but there is little to no crossover in clientele. I recently had to blacklist a client for the very first time. He was a pretty hardcore fetishist, so I didn't see any reason to post about him on one or two of the escort boards I belong to, but I did list him in a couple of national sites, just because I don't like to be trifled with, and I didn't want to give him a chance to pull his stunt again. (nothing dangerous, just asshole-ish)

K

Thanks!  And if you are able to visit Minneapolis, for God's sake, come in the SUMMER!  Lol

Although I am unavailable these days... I still do chime in and offer my wisdom. BUT it falls on death ears with both men and woman. ALSO, Safety is not only a concern for men.. but women in the hobby on both sides.  

Here are a few things to mind on and or to think about.  

AZ , Is one of the "hotter states" Before you arrived there were and still are many things behind the scenes as well as the public eye that made the waters hot. Trust is something that is not given yet earned. I myself also gave you a hard time. Not because of completion because you and I are in to different realms.. BUT because I do not like to worry about anyone in my circle. - MY CIRCLE- meaning ... If you see JIM, and he sees ME , you have in some way crossed my wire. So if you aren't safe ( not only as a provider LE concerned BUT safe as a provider) I for no reason want to be involved the way He and Susie ( who I meet at a mixer ) are. Get me ?   ( just fake names )  

Another thing is volume and voice. I deter from Loud providers without reason. Sometimes We ALL (myself included ) speak in ways we shouldn't, speak about things we could have saved , Are too outspoken and generally, its a turn off. MEN included. So when I see a provider that's LOUD or a hobbyist that likes to brag... To me that's flags that I want nothing to do with that person.  My safety and sanity are more important than a Online post or conversation.  

If you check the history of the site just going back two years... You will see many of these issues and see how they unfolded.  

I have nothing against the next woman. No woman is my worry as this has always been a fun luxury hobby for me. And I have personally Pm'd you and warned you about a thing or two.  

There are some loose canons, Some big mouthed ladies, Some unsafe practices , Some sloppy codes of conducts and more than a handful of traders in this "world" So do not take it personal if a lady doesn't reply or hold out a helping hand often. Sometimes It takes paying dues and "fitting in". It did for me as well

I didn't write the OP to talk about me & my situation here on the board (beyond what I had already mentioned) but let's touch it for a second.  Yes, when I came to the board you did give me quite the hard time.  What you saw as "loud" was only passion, honesty & integrity coming through my posts with only the safety of everyone in mind.  I agree not all "loud" providers have these qualities, but you cannot deny I was different.  Now that many know me here & off the board they know my presence is the same both places.  I get that trust is earned.  I get that loud is scary.  BUT I am an enigma in MANY ways, an exception to the rule.  I made a promise to you once Miss Gray that "I wasn't going anywhere".  I believe I am fullfilling said promise beyond what anyone probably expected.  Now that I have earned my place here (through reviews & activity on the board), I completely understand where it was coming from.

My only point of the OP is that we don't even give these gals a chance & 9 times out of 10 they are not going to be as determined/dedicated as I am.  They will receive the silent treatment & the intimidation only to become one of the lost.  I am not willing to ever be the one hiding in the corner afraid to help those who ask for it or to follow the herd.  Everyone is different though.  I guess I am not one to close my heart off & be jaded.  Life is far too short for that.

Like I said when you reached out to me on another matter, I have a newfound respect for you.  One that makes you A-Okay in my book

Every city/state has it's own peculiarities. PHX is no different. You can't learn about it by talking and being "passionate". That only give you a reputation.

You have been actually given some valuable and accurate information about Phoenix, but you seem to have glanced over and ignore it. So I'll restate a couple points. If you get offended by bluntness, or by having your expectations shaken by the observations of others, well... that's something you'll have to deal with.

#1 Phoenix IS hot; not talking weather here.

A once vibrant community, and a great place to play, has become on of the most legally dangerous place in the country. Long time, experienced people have learned to adapt. That requires a a certain attitude, understanding and behavior that is not needed else where. Many people have had problems, but the smart and adaptable are OK. UTR is big.  

#2 "Loose Lips Sink Ships"

There is serious concern about being outed, by both men and women. Smart, experienced and safe players read all the boards. When they see someone who is passionate and crosses line of discretion on any board, that person can becomes marked by established people as dangerous.

Take your own inventory.  

You have already done this. You have ranted elsewhere and given the real first names of hobbyists and ways to connect them to their web presence. That was a serious error. If you had ANY idea as how bad that is, you would find all those posts and get them deleted.  

I don't know you. Maybe you are great. But I will never contact you, not will the dozens of men and women that I know.

#3 People don't like loud was said. Pay attention to that.

Over the years there have been a handful of loud women and men. They feel the are  "passionate" and "speak their mind." In every case they have alienated the "community" and destroyed board participation by the seasoned, trustworthy, respected men and women. It true on every board. Were lucky to have the occasional comment here. Most have abandoned this and gone UTR, leaving just newbies, loners and also transient, oddball and flaky participants.   --- Don't bother flaming me on this. If you are known & respected in the community you know it's true.  ---

#4 Personality conflicts. This wasn't mentioned, but it relates to "loud"

Not everyone is going to get along and like all the other "trusted" long timer, either men or women. But people deal with it in one of two ways:  
(1) they live and let live, they keep their opinions to themselves, and they simply avoid those they don't like and don't let it bother them. If you are like that, others will trust you and communicate with you  
...OR  
(2) they take it on themselves to be the crusader of their own view and publicly criticize those they don't approve of which causes divisiveness, drawing sides, but most important and dangerous, provides exposure and draws attention from outsiders—which is bad for everyone. If you are like that, you will not be trusted.  Remember this: When you slag a man or a women, even for what you think is good reason, you separate yourself from everyone who is OK with them.

Take your own inventory.  

You are established as being in group #2

 

Look, I'm not trashing you. You get good reviews. You have business. Surely you have some friends in the industry. More power to you.  

You asked a question about support.  

Transient providers, "managed" providers, newbies, etc. are not the ones who can give you substantial meaningful support, even if they are not so flaky and they are willing. Part of the problem you experience is a characteristic of the area: things are kept closer to the bone in Phx. The other part could very well be how you have come into the area and conducted yourself: maybe it's ok elsewhere, but not so much here.

I genuinely hope this helps

How brave of you to use an alias to basically tell me to shut up & be quiet.  Not going to happen.  Ever.  

This does not & will not ever affect how I run my business, which is safe & secure with no leaks.  

 I do not believe that I am a part of group #2 as you put it & if you think that I value safety any less than the rest you are SEVERELY mistaken.  Just because I am brave enough to speak truth about certain subjects doesn't mean I am a loudmouth & most certainly am not a liar.  It means I say what needs to be said.  Period.  You may think that I spout off without thought but I can promise all that I do spend time contemplating/thinking about whether it's relevant or not.  

I do not believe I ranted about people that many didn't already know (there is a long history there). Also the rant was about people who If they didn't want their presence known have no business owning boards. You also need to keep in mind that how ladies are treated & how gents or favorite ladies are treated on certain boards is VERY different. Those who are OK with said people are not necessarily people I'm interested in meeting anyway, as in my opinion their intentions are far from good.  For the record I have NEVER outed anyone.  I may have passed safety information on to protect others but outing someone isn't my style.  I also find it interesting that you use the term "flaming" as that is a term one of these individuals likes to throw around ALL the time.  An individual who is supposed to be banned from this board.  I'm not even sure why you are even bringing this up again...  It's old news.  I put real, honest information out there for those who find it useful.  Taking those posts down will never happen.

I know the meek, mild, seemingly unintelligent is preferred by some but I'm not interested in being something I clearly am not.

 For the record I am obviously not speaking about the bottom of the barrel when it comes to support or asking for support myself (I have what I need).  When I have SEVERAL established ladies who are touring or established locals contact me for help with certain things, things of which they have reached out to others for & received no response, it is puzzling.  This post was not meant to be about me.  Just like everyone else here I will not be liked by all or able to please all.  It would be beneficial for all if we were a little more open minded.  This doesn't mean you have to compromise YOUR safety in any way.

Also to be clear, I don't have "good" reviews, they are FANTASTIC reviews so please don't try & minimize my value here.

 

-- Modified on 2/20/2015 11:20:52 AM

Is having a good a time when I'm out for spring training March 11-17! Looking forward to meeting some new ladies!

That's what I'm talking about!!  

Thank you for this feedback.  I am open to any advice that other providers are willing to share with me.  I believe in safety as #1 and am fortunate to have great mentors.  But, I am more than open to all advice I can find and consider.