I realize that the following question does not represent a real dichotomy, because there are plenty  of good-hearted people who are also great in the sack (take me......please.)  But all seriousness aside, the other day I blurted out this question, and it was suggested to become a poll, so here we go:

If, before you were born, your Creator told you that you HAD TO make a choice between two attributes, and whichever you chose, you would excel at, and you would be really lousy at the other, which would you choose:

Great Person (humanistically speaking)?

or

Great Lover (sexually speaking)?

Great Person (humanistically speaking)

All the rest is secondary!

I would take her very articulate thesis and turn it only slighly (just as I have often enjoyed turning her, if only slightly, from time to time, in the interest of sensual pleasure, of coures) and suggest...make a list of the qualities you ascribe to a failed or disreputable person (selfishness, inappropriate aggression, inconsiderateness, dishonesty) and it will be strikingly similiar to a list you would construct to describe an undesired lover.

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I am living this one...

It just so happens that I am a decent person, humanistically speaking, (or that's at least what people tell me)....and I am not at all good at anything having to do with sex.  (truth be told I'm not that good a person either...but I at least hope I am better person than I am a lover.)

For me then the question would be,
"If I could change that, would I give up being a good person if it made me a good lover?"

The answer there is easy...No.

I can leave the ability to make a woman writhe and moan and have her eyes roll back in her head to you guys that are good at it.

I could never trade my attempts to be a good person (though I fail a lot at those attempts), as it seems to me, I can avoid having sex with people, I can keep my pants on and my hands and tongue to myself so as to not subject them to the bad sex I wrought.  It is much more difficult to avoid all the contact with people where being a bad person can do damage...

So yeah...I'll remain the so-so person I am, and continue to be a lousy lover (that, because I attempt to be a good person will just not assail anyone with my horrid sexual prowess.).

We all go thru life meeting new people and touching their lives in some way. Whether it be the starbucks cashier or a buisness partner; our actions and how we treat them have an impact on their lives. Personally, I meet more people than I play with...

So, if forced to choose between touching many more people in a positive way and maybe bringing (or adding) some comfort or contentment to their lives (or their day) vs. excelling at an activity that, virtually by definition, can bring pleaasure to far fewer people...

I'd prefer to be the humanist.

2nd you're too hard on yourself, you have a great personality and are so well liked by everyone...I saw it last night and have read many of your posts so I know you're a good person.

As far as being a good lover I've heard that you're a wonderful kisser and from what I also heard about a certain pool table....I think you're not giving yourself enough credit!!!!

It was great to finally meet someone who I have admired for a long time.

Hugs
Terri

well, if I HAD to choose, first vote would be for great person, heck, isn't that what we're all trying to be?  Well, maybe not.  Maybe being a great lover is the same as being a great person.  You're pleasing one on one, as opposed to screwing over the masses in a good, humanistic way.  I don't know.  Does this mean that great lovers can't be great people too?  That the great love we  are part of isn't humane?  We're great because we're into gerbils or something like that?  And wouldn't it be some form of torture to be so close to someone, such a great person with a partner (or partners), that you just piss them off in bed?  I guess you have to pick your moments.

It was wonderful meeting you as well Miss Terri.
Now if could just change be a bad lover into being good bowler...I might be set.  

The question itself seems confused.  By those I know and those I’ve have had the pleasure to “have known” there is a direct correlation.  Only in the selfless act of giving can someone find or hope to be a superior partner.  The great humanists by their nature tend to be superior lovers.  The choice would seem simple then; make me a great person with the capacity to find within myself a great lover.