At first I was afraid, I was petrified,
When you said you had 10 inches, Lord I almost died!
But I'd spent so many years just waiting for a man that long,
That I grew strong, and I knew that I could take you on....

But there you are, another lie,
I was ready for a Big Mac and you've bought me a French Fry!
I should have known it was b.s., just a sad pathetic dream,
Should have known there was no anaconda lurking in those jeans!

Go on now go, walk out the door,
Don't promise me 10 inches, then turn up with only 4!
Weren't you a brat to think I wouldn't catch you out!?
Don't you know we' re only joking when we say size doesn't count???!

(Chorus)
I will survive! I will survive!
'Cos as long as I have batteries, My sex life's gonna thrive!
I will always have good sex with a handful of latex!
I will survive! I will survive!. . .Hey! Hey!

[Verse II]
It took all my self control not to laugh out loud,
When I saw your tiny wiener standing tall and oh so proud!
But to hell with all your egos and to hell with all your needs
Now I'm saving all my lovin' for a cordless multispeed!

(Chorus)