Gleaned from the investigative files 10 clues to watch out for in a new  client

10  An armored personal carrier  parked out front
 9  Arrives at the appointment  naked    
 8  Has  a  microphone  hidden  behind his  scrotum
 7  Asks if you have any fantasy about  doing it in a tent  
 6  Refers to a condom as  a  baby proof  vest
 5  Requests to see  registration and proof of insurance
 4  Thinks shaving his balls prevents you from knowing he is the  fuzz
 3  Wants to  know if you like the  K-9 position
 2  Lets you perform oral  then asks for a receipt
And the  number one  
 1  Keeps referring to his  penis  as  "Little  Joe"