The train wrecks generate the most response, praise for an ATF turns into a compliment storm or a disaster, some dudes (and dudettes) just love to hear themselves talk, other dudes (and dudettes) love conflict.  Basically like any other type of board.  Once the players are known, things are predictable.

Some of my favorite posters, for a variety of reasons:

CiaraPhx - never met you, but you come across as happy, intelligent and no-nonsense.  I also get the feeling you could kick my ass from here to right over there, which is extremely arousing for some reason.

OhMya - I saw you once but you probably don't remember.  One of your first doubles with the provider currently known as Sarah.  I love your opinions and the fact you aren't afraid to speak 'em.

modprod - Prolific!  Yet, no posts on the current first page!  One of the few that seem to think before posting.

mysweetsarah - You don't post often, but every post is extremely well written and a treat.  And yeah, I know her previous identity; great posts under that one, too.

Roxanne_Az - A favorite I seem to have lost touch with.  How did that happen?  There is a ton of bad poetry you haven't seen!

azhacker - Dude, you love the conflict!  Sometimes you make interesting points, other times you piss me off, and other times I think you're doing both just to stir up the place.  A little predictable at times, but reading your stuff definitely generates a response.

cgsmks - you love to hear yourself talk and you really need to find some balance to that overloaded left side of your brain.  (oh, wait, that's me!)

What is really cool about this place is that despite the very different nature of the "hobby" (I hate that word), the discussions are just like those on a college football board.  Substitute provider names for football teams and the discussions are exactly the same.

-- Modified on 1/27/2006 8:01:23 AM

You said, "What is really cool about this place is that despite the very different nature of the "hobby" (I hate that word), the discussions are just like those on a college football board.  Substitute provider names for football teams and the discussions are exactly the same."

Thank you, a male, for pointing out what many of we ladies have thought for a long time but figure we have no choice but to deal with.

We're women, ladies, people with emotions and feelings and the ability to hear and process insults, comments, compliments, etc. We are NOT blow up dolls, football teams, products, deaf, unfeeling, etc.

As an escort, a lady, a person with emotions, feelings and the ability to process and think, could you guys please stop discussing us like we are commodities and products...or football teams? It really isn't respectful and it does hurt some of us to feel like products...or football teams.
Megan

-- Modified on 1/27/2006 8:13:44 AM

you wouldnt be third rate like the Cardinals. You would be a Superbowl powerhouse.

This must be the tran wreck!!!3rd time is a charm
another informative thread? or loving the sound of the keyboard strokes?

I couldn't agree with you more.  However, as unfortunate as it may be and to quote a recent newsarticle.....as soon as we are assigned a "number" for the purpose of a review, that's exactly what we become......a dehumanized product.  I think reviews are a wonderful way for guys to share their experiences, both good and bad, but assigning a number, no matter how good it may be, can actually be quite hurtful in the long run.

This would be a very dull place indeed if we did not discuss the Ladies.  Most times its not so much what is said but how it is said.  Once someone establishes a reputation as a drive-by poster it is easy to see more than what meets the eye.  To be brief sometimes we write in mental shorthand and our message misses its mark.  I would like to think for the most part there is no malicious intent behind what is being said; sometimes it is obvious this is not the case.  But it is good to remember when discussing anything mean what you say and say what you mean.  Be a Gentleman and be mindful of what these Ladies do for us and how they’d feel if it was said in their presence.  And to save you the effort, I already know this is a pointless waste precious board space.  Go Steelers!!!

I'm still here!!!  Thanks for mentioning me!  I was just doing a lot of overseas travelling the past few months but I have things happening here that will keep me in the states for awhile.   I am going to post very soon about something cool for the guys I am offering starting in Feb. I'll keep ya posted!

"as soon as we are assigned a "number" for the purpose of a review, that's exactly what we become......a dehumanized product.  "

I'm sorry if this appears flippant, but what about the number that you (collectively) assigned before that number for a review score could even be considered?

I agree that every entity in this community is someone special. Each with their own wisdom, experience and perspective that they choose to share in various ways. Every soul is precious in their own right. How can any of us really take something so subjective as "what you are and what you give mean to me" and quantify that?

I think it's ironic and a little hypocritical to say "My time, compassion, wisdom, insight and sharing is NOT an 8... but it is 350"

Megan, we have never met and I have never posted on here before, but I have to tell you that if you are not writing for some paper or magazine, you should be- you have excellent communication skills. Loved your response,"not blow up dolls" made me laugh, although I am sure that was not the intent.

along with doctors, lawyers, accountants, dentists, architects and others who professionally provide a sevice (myself included). Confusing your "professional persona" with your selfworth as a human being can and does create enormous issues for many. When you realize that the underlying purpose of this board IS the discussion of "you" as a product (hopefully in a reasonably tactful manner) you begin to address the cause of the discord that can and will exist. This is not personal or disrespectful, its simply the way it is.....spoken from one product to another.

that I'm an asshole. But I'm not a mean spirited or malicious one. I believe that you should never say something in private that you wont say in public to a persons "face". So I say here exactly what I'd say elsewhere. I dont expect anyone to agree with me all the time (or even some of the time) and will always try to respond, rebut, argue....or occasionally acknowlege someone else is right and I was wrong. I only ask that people recognize that its an opinion and take it as such.

One thing I greatly appreciate from you is you also speak your mind as "you". Even though we are more often on opposite "sides of the fence" then not I'll always respect those who participate and contribute.

We have to state the donation on the website so you don't ask us over the telephone, but I can hardly relate our donation fee to a rating of our looks and performance. I agree with Roxanne. Like any type of business, there's always something negative and positive about it, and she said it as well about being rated. It does tend to make you feel like "just a number." I try to put the whole rating process into perspective, but it's easy to say when the majority of your reviews are 8's and 9's. Can you imagine if you were a woman and thought you looked hot, spent hours getting ready and paid attention to detail: nails, hair, toenails, waxing or shaving, scented oils or perfumes, lighting the candles just right, etc. Then, you were just complimented by the client/reviewer by which he said, "Wow! You are gorgeous and what a great time I had -- the best."  Then he writes you up as a 6 in the looks department and a 7 in the performance department. I'm sure it would be a little demeaning, to say the least. We understand -- to a point -- a man's need for rating (like a football game), but turn the tables and let us rate you. It would be much nicer to say she was nice-looking, or looked like a model or probably average in my eyes. However, "some" men do not respond to those types of complimentary comments. I guess the rating system for guys is more basic and helps them determine if she's a plain Jane or a model. Of course, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder," so to speak. I might be a 10 to someone (whoopie) or a 7 to another. It's all relative.

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 1/27/2006 3:46:14 PM

It doesn't matter how high or low the number is, it is still dehumanizing, period.
For you to call my statement  hypocritical  merely shows that you did not read my post correctly.  I understand that you, as gentlemen, must rate a lady by a number in order to get a review published (reviews are a wonderful thing).  All I am saying is that although one can rate certain items through the use of numbers, to rate a human being in that matter, solely based on the way one physically looks(and yes, I know it is subjective) automatically makes one feel like an object, no matter how good that number is.  It would be a different story if one could choose from adjectives such as "lovely"  "average" "unattractive" or "drop dead gorgeous" that didn't have numbers attached to them.  I just think it sounds a  lot nicer for a gentleman to say, "you're beautiful"  as opposed to "you're a 9"     Perhaps I'm just old-fashioned in that way.
And BTW- I did not say "My time, compassion, wisdom, insight and sharing is NOT an 8...but it is 350"   If you are referring to a lady's rates, that is really a low blow to providers.  And for what it's worth...My rate is not 350, It IS 260.    Sorry for the rant.

There is an important distinction between other professionals and these ladies.  Nobody reviews a doctor or lawyer (or you, Hacker, or me) on whether or not they're attractive or pleasant--it's all about effectiveness.  Service professionals can erect a wall between their work and themselves.

In contrast, SP's have men telling them on a daily basis about how physically attractive and sexually stimulating they are (or aren't).  That is really quite different, because naturally those are attributes that carry over into their personal lives.

Other professionals can choose to leave it at the office, but SPs have a much harder job.  The ones we value the most are those who are the most sincerely into their work.  They give GFE service by really getting into their time with us.

Once you've opened yourself up to the extent that a guy enjoys GFE, I can imagine how it feels to see someone say you were a "7" (or whatever).  As a professional myself, I have successes and failures, but none of those ever make me feel like it's about me as a man.

Beyond that, when the comments about an SP's looks or service come (on the Board) without reference to a recent session, it's definitely not like anything experienced by other professionals.  Does a programmer have to read criticism of his haircut from people he doesn't work with?  Does a lawyer have to read about his waistline expanding?  Does a dentist read about his lack of personality?  No, and especially not from people with whom they have no professional relationship.

So, IMHO, none of the men on this board ever have or ever will feel like products in the same way as the ladies.  The fact that they are willing to do this work at all is a gift.

(I do, however, agree [gasp!] with Hacker's hope for reasonable tactfulness.)

I hope that I have never made a Provider feel like a "commodity."  I have posted frequently about my respect and admiration for the ladies who have been kind enough to allow me the privilege of their company for an hour or two.  

I have, however, written reviews.  In those reviews I used numbers.  I did this both because they are required, and because it is easier for those others who share my interests to look quickly and determine if a Provider is worth his time.

In those reviews, I have tried over and over to talk about the Providers respectfully, and I have tried to be honest about how she made me feel.  I understand why they don't care to be thought of as a commodity, but there is a difficulty in that.  

That difficulty is that I am engaging in a very personal act with the Provider who is kind enough to be with me.  I can not seem to help letting my heart become involved.  I know that many on both sides of the equation would tell me, quite correctly, that I should not allow myself to become emotionally attached.  It may make the Provider uncomfortable to think I had feelings for her when she certainly has none for me.  It could make me vulnerable to unavoidable heartbreak to allow myself to become too attached to a woman who I know is making any number of others feel the way she makes me feel.  We all know how it is to feel jealousy, and, of course, that is an absurd feeling to have about a Provider.

One way that I try to avoid letting my heart come too much into play is reminding myself that she is simply providing me with a service, in the same way that the waitress who brings me my food, or the doctor who cares for my diabetes does.  I may appreciate and admire their work, I may respect their performance, but I certainly wouldn't have any other feelings for them.  I try to avoid caring too much about the Providers in the same way.  It is, however, much more difficult.

A couple of the Providers have made me feel incredibly good, not only physically, but emotionally.  I have to work very hard not to become too hung up on these women because I feel sure they would be uncomfortable with my feelings.  I have no wish to make anyone who is being so kind to me feel anything but good.

So... I don't like to think of Providers as commodities, but could someone advise me on a better way to think of the women who I like so much, but whom I am not really allowed to like so much?  

In no way have I ever intended to demean or dehumanize anyone I have had the privilege to see.  I apologize sincerely if anything I have said, or any review I have written has had that effect.  If there is a suggestion a Provider might make about writing reviews without dehumanizing them, please let me know.

Thanks for reading such a long post.

Fred

I get professionally reviewed and rated & referenced all the time. I also review and reference other professionals as well. I feel like a "product" all the time....since I am one professionally....

That was a very well written post that was honest and sincere.

I was so touched by reading your post.  I'm sure the reviews you've written  have been very kind and respectful.  The fact that you actually care about the way the lady feels, says a lot about your character.  Thank you and all the other guys like you!

I have written in various positions I've held as an adult. My mother was an English teacher and instilled a love of writing and language in me from a young age.

I am actually moving to Atlanta in April to attend school specifically to hone my skills in writing, as I am currently a copywriter. I am headed to school so I can work on my portfolio and learn everything I need to learn about the industry as a whole. I would love to have a column one day in a paper, but for now, the best opportunity for written expression for me is here as well as several other message boards not related to this topic.

You really made my day with that compliment so, thanks again! I greatly appreciate it!

Love,

Megan

PS Feel free to drop me a line, I'd love to meet you!!

I like to think of myself as a "happy, intelligent and no-nonsense" type of gal. I'm very easy to get along with until provoked, then it's Karate Kid #3.  And yes, I am a Black Belt, but I'd probably through out my hip if I had to through a kick over my head now. Tee-he! Wink!

Hugs,
Ciara