David Letterman's Top 10 reasons why there are no black NASCAR drivers 10) HAVE TO SIT UPRIGHT WHILE DRIVING. 9) PISTOL WON'T STAY UNDER FRONT SEAT. 8) ENGINES DROWN OUT THE RAP MUSIC. 7) PIT CREW CAN'T WORK ON CAR WHILE HOLDING UP PANTS AT THE SAME TIME. 6) THEY KEEP TRYING TO CARJACK DALE, JR. 5) POLICE CARS ON TRACK INTERFERE WITH RACE. 4) NO PASSENGER SEAT FOR THE HO. 3) THERE ARE NO SPONSORS FOR CADILLAC. 2) CAN'T WEAR HELMET SIDEWAYS.
AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY BLACKS CAN'T BE IN NASCAR:
1) WHEN THEY CRASH THEIR CAR THEY BAIL OUT AND RUN.
Wow... that's hard to match. Let's give it a try. (I won't credit Letterman since he wrote neither list)
Top 10 Reasons Why Fans Love NASCAR
10> LOUD! CARS! ROUND and ROUND! Yay!! Football make brain hurt! 9> If there's a crash, cousin Joe Bob might find a tooth donor. 8> My humble, grassroots, Southern Confederate heritage is only affirmed when watching millionaire celebrities race multi-hundred-thousand-dollar cars at billion dollar track events. 7> Roll bars make the ultimate gun rack. 6> For a brief moment, rednecks can believe the Dukes were real. Culture validated! 5> High octane fuel tastes just like moonshine! 4> Helmet and firesuit offer much more protection than a sheet with eye holes. 3> Let's face it, not many dress codes specify a wifebeater and Skoal cap as formal dress. 2> Where else are 70,000 good ol' boys and their barefoot-pregnant sister-wives going to go?
AND THE NUMBER 1 REASON WHY FANS LOVE NASCAR:
1> Chance to check out NASCAR team trailers for home improvement ideas.
if I dodnt know you, I might have been offended. But the true #1 reason blacks cant be in nascar is: Its a bunch of left turns and we dont like shooting across our "homies" faces. We shoot our 9mm's sideways ya know, LOL.
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