women that did vaudville comedy her name was Sophie Tucker this is one of her classics...."I was out last night with my boyfriend Ernie " he says "Soph you got no tits and a tight box" I said "Ernie GET OFF MY BACK" another favorite was Grocho Marxs He sees a very pregnant woman with 5 kids and says to her husband " I like a good cigar myself but I take it out once in a while" Wc fields had some good ones  along with Mae West anyone care to ad a few favorites? Hope everyone is ejoying life its nice that fall is now here so we can cool off......Victoria

I like your "Victoria-isms" best

Every time I talk to you I pick up a new one to share

-Glen

Ok  Glen pick your favorite I'm game.......

they aren't too raunchy, but loved your lines, thought I'd add the few from that era which I can halfway remember: (1) wc fields is in bed with a lady, preparing for a love scene, he says to her, "darlin, I'm sorry if I don't get aroused, and I'm sorry if I do!" ; (2) and then the great line from Groucho about waking up in his pajamas to go out elephant hunting, and how they got in there, he'll never know.  (or something like that).

elephant hunting, now there's a good euphemism.  thanks for sharing, I love a good story. f

Fields had some of the best... updated verson would be something like:

"Yes, most of that fortune I on women and wine.... the rest I just wasted!"

Walks into Shemp's bar around lunchtime and orders a drink.... "was I in here last nite, and did I spend a $20 bill?"   "Why yes!"  .... "oh, what a load that is off my mind... I thought I'd lost it!"

OK

xo to you ms terri!