I may be opening a can of worms here but I am having some difficulty and wanted to ask for some honest input!  I know that everyone here will be honest, some brutally honest, but I am a big girl and can handle that.

As some of you may know, in February of last year, I had gastric bypass surgery.  I have successfully lost 172 lbs to date.  That is where my diffulties come in.  I have not been on the board or even advertising now for almost 4 months.  The reason being is because it's pretty obvious for you all to imagine what a person would like once they lost almost 200 lbs.!  The very last appointment that I had made was a very hard one for me becuase the person just got up and walked out.  I wasn't sure if it was because of the weight loss...which in turn has left a lot of loose skin where its not too pretty..or because of personal issues. All I could get out of him was that he just didn't feel right and couldn't explain it.  Anyway, because of that, I stopped advertising.

I have always done my best to provide an amazing service to my clients and with the exception of ONE person, I feel like I have accomplished that.  What I wanted to ask here from all of you is this....Would it be in my best interest to stay away until I can have the $30,000 plastic surgery to remove the skin and have the perfect body?  I know there are guys out there that really do like us BBW's but right now I am SO stuck between a small bbw and a regular size girl.  I ask because I don't want to freak anyone out when they see me, not that its all that terrible, but you men have certainly come to expect certain things from all of us.  I don't believe in false advertising and would never lead anyone astray....So I guess I would just like to hear from hobbiests and providers alike as to what might be best for everyone involved.  

Like most ladies here, I provide the services for many reasons, but one being the obviuos ability to financially take care of myself...so that is why I am asking what one might think about continuing in the business at this point or waiting until everything has been lifted and tucked so to speak!

Any and all advice and opinions are welcome...just try to be nice if you will!  As I stated above, I am a big girl and can handle the corrective criticism or I wouldn't have asked!

Thank you in advance for the honesty!

Sahara

I am pretty sure that you were going through a lot of mental anguish with this one, but I am also pretty confident that you knew you made the right decision for you in regards to the surgery. This business is fickle. No matter what some men say, this business is all about appearance first, then personality (unfortunately). Some men like bigger women and some love spinners. I understand your quandry here.

I guess the main thing to ask yourself is: Does the hanging skin make "YOU" feel uncomfortable? If not, then tell your clients upfront about the situation. If it bothers them, then there is really nothing you can do about it until you have your other surgery, in which case you might have to get some extra outside work other than this business. It's sad that we have chosen a business where looks are so important, but there are those few who really want a companion and a good lover, and looks to not deter from a meeting.

The rest is up to you to decide what is best for you. I think you are off to a great start in making yourself feel better, not only in the looks department, but primarily to improve your health. Just make sure you did this for yourself and not for men. Anything else is just a bonus.  Email me if you would like to talk to someone.
[email protected]

Hugs,
Ciara

-- Modified on 1/13/2008 10:08:41 PM

as long as the website pictures are accurate and your rates competitive you will do fine what ever your choice.

a body lift is a dangerous thing think three times before getting the surgery.

dont let one client leaving get you down hell i walked out on a 120 blonde hottie once because i didnt like her attitude in the inital meeting.

people leave for all kinds of reasons it doesnt mean much other than maybe he decided to buy a new video game or a spa holiday for his wife instead.

Let me congratulate you on having the courage to post on this forum on this difficult issue. Let me also extend to you my admiratrion for your strenth and resolve to have done so well post-surgery.

My hope is that you find my suggestioons useful and supportive. Please do not take offense at my comments - and if you do, I apologize.

Only you can decide to stay away or not during this transition.  Your body is in a transition that you choose to undertake, and may not fit the definitions of berauty. You have your hands and lips and more important it is your time and companionship that are the services that you are providing.

Men like to know what to expect, and so the person whom walked out may have felt that he was deceived. The problem is that many men are not sure what expect even if you tell them that you have lost 172 lbs.  That is where  diffulties come in.  

It is not easy to accurately imagine what a person would like once they lost almost 200 lbs. Yes, there will be a lot of loose skin, and even if I knew your original height and weight I am not sure I would know have an accurate expectation if we met.  

So if you do decide to stay active you may want to have some photos of you dressed in the kinds of clothes that you think will serve as an appropriate "cocoons" as you go through this transformation. Kimonos come to mind, as worn in Japanese shunga prints.

Men (and women) will do what they will.  With that said, just because a client left is not enough information on which to base an opinion-- you simply do not have enough info.

If YOU are concerned about your "transition look" I think it will show in your service.  So perhaps you could offer "limited services" where the exposure would not trouble you, or a client.  There are lots of gals who are making ends meet with "limited services" only.  It's a "transition thought" that you might consider.  

Congrats to you to care about your long term health.  You knew what to expect before the surgery, so take it slow and everything will come around in its good time.

I am so sorry you are going through this. All the replies I see so far are on the money. YOU do what is going to make YOU feel best. Agreed, there are a zillion possible reasons one might leave an appointment. I had it happen one time because the gent got a call to go get his grandson from school, he had been suspended. I had "closure" as to WHY. I can't imagine how I might feel had he just said he had to go.

If you decide to continue with the current profession, remain honest in your description of yourself and with your photos, keep providing the best service imaginable and you will be fine.

Wishing you all the best,
CHeyenna

it is very hard to be callous enough to let incidents like that slide off your back but you cannot let it depress you to the point that it effects your biz.

it has happened to every single one of us i promise you and yes it feels like utter shit.  i am very sensitive and insecure as well so i can relate but i've found its best to call one of the girls and rant and rave and you'll hear the exact same thing happened to her too and back you get into the saddle.

people dont understand that this is not like any other job where you can go in feeling hungover, or have a cold, or depressed or big zit on your ass and still get through the day ok.  we actually have to be physically and emotionally healthy in order to perform.

some of these things we can control and one way to keep from letting clients get you down is to have a support network of other girls that you can talk with who have experienced the exact same thing and then you will know that there's some guys for every girl but there is no girl thats for every guy. .

we all get hate mail, we all get bad reviews, we all get prank phone calls and no shows and hassled about the way we look ... most guys play those games on purpose cuz they have a weiner issue so thats how they compensate for it. whatever.

do not stop until you run out of men and i'm pretty sure you're nowhere close to that.

and close your eyes and pretend you are beautiful because you are beautiful and one day when you believe that,  you will be able to make others believe it too i promise.

but if you dwell on your flaws guess what.
thats what other people see too.
 
ok sweetie and you know you can call me anytime and i will tell you THE WAY IT IS always

now please get back to work cuz i need the money

LOL

Sahara congrats to you! I had the surgery 2 days before Thanksgiving and am currently at 80 lbs lost. That being said...I had one popular girl here (and no longer in the business I may add) took one look at me about 6 years ago and left laughing; so I know how you feel. Another popular and highly rated provider here told my best friend Jordan Kay that I would be much better looking if I wasn't so fat.. But I DON'T dare flame her here because 300 people will come to her defense and next thing you know I'm the BAD GUY. I guess what I'm trying to say is I could give a MOLE'S rear end (get that Jordan...Mole?) what everyone but about a dozen people on this Earth think. If this guy walked out I'm sure the open door he left will bring in someone who wants to be with YOU. All that you & I have been thru (me only 2 months) we shouldn't let one lame-o ruin a big committment to a lifestyle change! You keep doing what you're doing!
PS: When I hit 200 lbs I'm expecting a freebee from Jack lol

-- Modified on 1/14/2008 8:46:31 PM

Sahara,
People can be hateful. Just tell yourself that you are wonderful and you don't need other people to tell you that. As another poster indicated, be upfront about your weightloss with any new client before they make an appointment. If possible, hide loose skin with close fitting clothing. I would visit you just because you're brave but I know you are lovely inside and out.

Stay sweet and you will achieve all your desires --Dallas Rain




-- Modified on 1/17/2008 3:33:37 PM

Ana honey, you are way too cute! lol...thanks for making me smile!  Hope you're doing well!  Miss talking to you!

Sahara