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Phoenix

I'm conflicted . . .sad_smile
GeoJungBoy 13 Reviews 14970 reads
posted

. . . with regard to getting out of the hobby.  As a single guy, it is a lot of fun (certainly more fulfilling than the bar scene by far), but I have met someone I really enjoy (not a provider), and I really do not think that I could do the whole deception thing.  On the other hand, there are few providers that I would REALLY miss (for a number of reasons, some obvious and some not).  Any thoughts?

GlenAz13009 reads

This hobby as you pointed out can be a lot of fun, but...was never really indended as a substitute for a real relationship.

I would say if you really care for this lady that you should give up the hobby and not do the deception game. Too many good relationships have ended due to deception on both sides. If you  your feelings for her grow and she were to find out about your liaisons with providers, well it probably ain't going end pretty.

If things do not work out out this hobby will still be here for you. Most providers I know will get out of the business if they find a signifiant other. What's good for the goose.......... :)

Just my 2 1/2 cents,

Glen

-- Modified on 5/12/2003 2:23:12 PM

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HotOffLoad14735 reads

I have to agree with Glen on this.  Deception would be selfish & short-lived - no good can come of it.  A few extremely open & tolerant relationships might survive openly continuing the hobby with the SO's knowledge & permission, but I suspect these are rare and in the extreme minority.  The reasons for this I think are pretty obvious.

If you decide to ask your potential/future SO the question and seek her permission, ask it sooner than later, and be less concerned with HER answer and MORE concerned with your reaction to her answer - that's where the real insight into you feelings will be found.

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ChrissyStone14898 reads

I think both providers and hobbyists tend to get caught up in the "kid in the candy store" thinking:  with just an email or phone call, a guy can see a cute redhead one week, a busty brunette another, and then catch the new blonde in town. We providers give client references to other girls all the time and we don't blink an eye--it's all part of the game and the fun.

Now this candy store thinking is great, except that we may forget it's a far cry from the real world. The average Joe or Steve is not seeing a different, cute sexy girl once a month or so (unless he's a celebrity, in which the real world rules don't apply).

Women especially crave an exclusive relationship, and I can guarantee any potentially serious girlfriend will not tolerate your going to the candy store anymore.

So, follow your heart--if you are really serious about her, then focus on her exclusively and see what happens.

Remember, the candy store is always open....if things don't work out, us sweet things are here waiting for you.  :)

I'll sure miss you, though, dg!

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sierra2811938 reads

Glen, you are wise beyond your years

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pad5dy14059 reads

Your statement about not being able to do the deception thing says it all.  You cannot have it both ways.  Either you or your SO will get hurt.  Do not worry about the few providers you would miss.  You have found someone who you enjoy so go for it.  Those/Other providers will be there if your current SO does not work out.  What is there to be conflicted about?  Either you want a serious relationship or you don't.

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Anathema14379 reads

I think these two people have given you some awesome advice. For me personally there Is nothing more beautiful then being in love and I wouldn't do anything to screw that up.

Ultimately the decision is yours; but if you are in love, or the chance for love exists, don't mess it up, you won't be sorry:-)

Peace!

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GeoJungBoy17363 reads

I am amazed by the romanticism of the replies.  I was always under the impression that most of the hobbyists were married.  Hmmm.  I believe that pad5dy hit it right on the head - the conflict is not to leave or not leave the hobby (as I suggested to myself in my original posting), the conflict is to enter a LT relationship or not.  The candy store is a good analogy, and moving along those lines, I believe that eating nothing but candy leaves you with an upset stomach . . . or in this case, an ultimately empty emotional life.

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HotOffLoad13956 reads

I couldn't resist this side-issue dg27, and I assure you I have no mean intentions with this post, but what a difference a capital letter makes to the context of this discussion!

Consider the following definition:

romanticism (ro-màn´tî-sîz´em) noun
1. Often Romanticism. An artistic and intellectual movement originating in Europe in the late 18th century and characterized by a heightened interest in nature, emphasis on the individual's expression of emotion and imagination,
departure from the attitudes and forms of classicism, and rebellion against established social rules and conventions.
2. Romantic quality or spirit in thought, expression, or action.
- roman´ticist noun

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, Third Edition copyright © 1992 by Houghton Mifflin Company. Electronic version licensed from InfoSoft International, Inc. All rights reserved.

This definition, for all practical purposes, fits the current practice of the hobby in our culture!!(LOL)

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GeoJungBoy14736 reads

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