I'm not a frequent "hobbyist", my last encounter being about a year ago with a wonderful woman I'd seen 2-3 times before.  I still occasionally look at ads, though.

Early this week an ad on BP caught my eye.  So, of course, I checked TER.  She had 2 reviews at the time (now up to 5) all with 8's and 9's.  Apparently she's new to the area, but had done some "ranch" work in Nevada in the past, and is coming back to providing after a hiatus of several years.  Her rates were half what I'd expect from top-shelf providers, but assumed it was because she was still new.

I emailed her back and forth several times.  She was very busy on the Thursday & Friday I had available, with tanning appointments, lunch with friends, etc.  I finally booked noon-2 on Friday.  She said she had an appointment with an oral surgeon before that.  I joked with her that no good day starts out that way, but she said that it was just a consultation, and that she'd been having TMJ problems, and that it would be no problem for our meeting.  At 2:30 was lunch with a friend for her, so I knew the booking was tight.  I always book for at least 2 hours, as I like to get to know the woman - "Nice to meet you.  Legs in the air please" just isn't my style.

I asked what wine she liked, and bought a bottle and had it chilling.  I took the day off work, shaved (face and elsewhere   and scrubbed thoroughly, even the navel (which, as we've found out on the forums before, is an area noticed by providers!)  11:30 rolls around, and I call her and left a VM, asking for directions to her incall.  No response, but I figured the appointment ran long.  At 11:45 I sent her a text.  She prefers to communicate via text/email, so I thought maybe she just hadn't checked the VM.

At 11:59 (yes, 1 minute before our meeting) she sends me an email cancelling the appointment, saying that the doctor said she'll need surgery in the next few days.  No apology for the last minute (literally!) cancellation, no mention of possible rescheduling, just a 2-line email cancelling.

And I wrong to be thoroughly pissed off about this?  If the TMJ was that bad, that they need to do surgery soon, she shouldn't have been taking appointments.  I think this is completely unprofessional, as well as frankly asinine, the way it was handled.

I think her behavior was pretty good, in that she took the time to let you now she couldn't make it.  Hell, so many guys on this Board have been stood up, no call/no showed plenty of times, and would've appreciated the simple courtesy of what she did in communicating with you.   IMHO, I think she treated you fair-and-square, and if the person who no-call/no-showed me recently reads this, you know why I haven't communicated with you since.  A text the next day telling me you're "overwhelmed with things at home" could just as easily been a text the day we were supposed to have met telling me the exact same thing, and it wouldn't have screwed my plans up.

Sorry that you both got stood up.   Never fun, but also not an unusual part of this business, for both hobbyist and provider.

My question is, given that this is a website predicated on rating and reviewing providers and sharing details of individual experiences, why is everyone so secretive about the provider's identity who cancelled one minute before the appointment or worse, ncns?   If I was thinking about seeing someone, I would want to know if she stood someone up recently.    If it's an isolated event, with a legitimate reason, the review history will demonstrate that, so it shouldn't threaten someone's livelihood.   Frankly, if it's a legitimate reason, the person on the receiving end wouldn't get upset, thus wouldn't post on this board.  If it was rude enough to get you fired up, causing you to post or vent, then probably worth sharing their identity.  

Just my two cents.

This stuff happens to everybody sooner or later.  It happens to the ladies too, and they understandably also get upset when guys do this to them.

Yes, it does suck when your day gets screwed up like that, especially when you took the day off of work to meet some woman.  Yes, it is unprofessional and asinine of the woman to do that to you by text at the last minute.  These things are all true for sure.

Most seasoned hobbiests are just going to tell you that you need a backup plan any time you want to take the day off to see a lady.  All you really need to do is have a list of women who are willing to see you, and refer to the list in case something like this happens again.  Or if you are like Mitt Romney, keep an entire binder of women.  It is all good.

For the hourly rate this hobby demands, it just plain should not happen with the frequency that it does. Period. And I do not like that there is not a way to identify it is happening with which ladies. Happened to me this weekend... Between lateness, cancelling, mis-representation...It makes me limp. 'nuff said. And I don't want to just jump on some1 else. So it is not a sensitivity issue, but a "readiness" issue. It's like popping a balloon of fantasy that has built up. What do the ladies thinks happens to a guy in this hobby the more he has been irritated? Does he become one of those guys you want to see or not see.

Honestly - if you are setup a week or 3 ahead of time and get cancelled on the evening before (and no, it is not always easy to find another time slot in my schedule), it is still inconvenient and the lady should help the guy find an alternative. Good for all...

And the excuses - yea, we must have the patience to understand I guess, but most of the time the excuses sound like "the dog ate my homework" to me. I do smile and let it go, but ladies, ladies, ladies - you hurt the hobby - it is just irritating and guys "pause". Yea, yea, yea - get some "go to" ladies. And, "I never cancel". Whatever.

Word to the ladies - keep it up - and guys cancelling will never get any better. If you don't care (and keep in mind, you ARE the care givers here), why would guys care. The KWAN speaks...

Oh wait - all of us are f'ed up and not worth common courtesy. Respect is a two way street...

So for the guys that this happens to, I feel ya'. It sucks. A little notice, no notice, whatever - it screws up my schedule. Time is money to all of us.

It obviously happened to at least 3 guys in the past 48 hours - publically. How many did it really happen to? and I am sure there are some ladies that could have used the kwan... guess what. You lose.

Frustrated,

I have given her name & TER ID to those who have PMed me, but just don't see that anything is to be gained by posting it publicly.  This thread on the forum will quickly be buried by others, so it's unlikely to do any good.  Until TER comes up with some method of identifying problem providers, there's not much of a solution.

all it takes is a point rating system...
on time as requested...5 stars
0-10 min late..............4 stars
11-20min late.............3 stars..

let is average just like the rating that is alreadly in place..just regarding time...

fwiw..

Also because they are worried about backlash.

Don't take her excuse as true though. It could just as easily have just been a convenient thing to say. She could easily have received an appointment offer that she preferred or just decided she wasn't in the mood or didn't have the time for a meeting. She wouldn't exactly tell you if any of those were the case.

The fact is that though many women here refer to this as a business many of them do not treat it as such. Many of them treat it like an on demand ATM. All I can recommend is to maybe not inconvenience yourself quite so much for a first time meet where the risk is highest that things may not go as planned.

Some women DO treat this as a business in the correct fashion and those women are a pleasure to be with. But between kids, family, to many female friends and drama, or just not enjoying this business, quite a few are best avoided due to poor time management skills.

Note to women, one thing you will pick up on quick here on TER is that short of the actual session being great, the most important things to most men are going to be good time management and good communication skills. I have not yet met the woman who excelled at both of those things but I am sure she is out there!

You could've driven to her location just to get that message.

yes, it sucks and has happened to most of us.  But don't let it get to you, find another!

I'm pretty good at time management and communication, both verbal and physical

Very tempting Careful what you ask for though I am only 36 and rather shy bcd. I like a woman who enjoys taking the lead.

Well, since that is how you react, unless you want to change your reaction, why worry if any one else agrees with your reaction??